The Haunted Airman (2006)

"An injured RAF pilot, confined to a wheelchair is committed to an eerie hospital where he starts to lose his mind"

Based so loosely on "The Haunting of Toby Jugg" by Dennis Wheatley" that it turned out to be another story entirely, "The Haunted Airman" has become a minor curiosity for "Twilight" fans who want to see more of Robert Pattinson before he was famous for being Edward.

I originally saw this when the BBC Four showed it on Hallowe'en way back in 2006, but I wasn't exactly impressed by any of it. In fact, I found it extremely boring and, short though it was, I still didn't make it to the end. There wasn't a lot of attention payed to Hallowe'en by any of the main channels that year, and I have a feeling that I just went to bed rather than look for anything else to watch at the time.

I had actually enjoyed reading the novel many years before and always felt that it represented the best of Dennis Wheatley's work. In comparison, "The Haunted Airman" did little more than use the names of the main characters and Toby's hallucinations of spiders. The rest of the plot involving Satanists who were attempting to drive him insane and cheat him of his inheritance was completely ignored. Toby still was in a wheelchair after being injured in the war, had his letters intercepted, and went mad, but the location had changed and everything was done for different reasons.

Having now rewatched "The Haunted Airman" on the DVD released in 2009 which was designed for Twihards (but one of them must have got fed-up with since I found it in my local pawn shop), I have to say that it was slightly better than I remembered. At least I made it to the end this time.

Robert Pattinson's Toby Jugg was extremely laconic and spent most of his time between being massaged by lighting and smoking cigarettes until he ran out of matches, but he wasn't exactly horrible in the role. As a traumatised and crippled World War II airman, he fitted the part. Maybe he could have added a bit more emotion to his rather blank expression other than occasionally glowering in anger, but he did enough.

Julian Sands as the renamed character of "Dr. Hal Burns" (instead of "Helmuth Lisicky") wasn't quite so credible as a psychiatrist or Julia Jugg's new love interest, but, to give credit where it's due, I don't think anyone else other than maybe Richard E. Grant would have been better. After being in "Arachnophobia" (1990), there was too much of an in-joke when he played with a spider, and I couldn't take him seriously after that.

The story started off okay, it was nicely filmed with only occasional lapses into obviously handheld territory, and it was getting increasingly creepy until Julia Jugg (played by Rachael Stirling) turned up. Then, in spite of the opportunity to ogle a very sexy example of wartime female beauty, everything got really confusing. I couldn't tell which parts of the story were dreams and which were reality. I'd guess that the intention was to convey that Toby Jugg couldn't tell the difference either, but it didn't work so well. This was the point at which I gave up on the film six years ago.

The ending, such as it was, made hardly any sense except to confirm that Toby Jugg had indeed lost his mind completely. The jury is still out on whether that was Hal Burns' intention all along or if it was the accidental result of his inept therapy. Without the bigger occult/communist plot of the novel, Hal Burns' motivation wasn't clear. He had nothing to gain from sending Toby Jugg right over the edge unless he was just some kind of psychopath himself.

At just over an hour, "The Haunted Airman" almost worked within its made-for-TV limitations and internal logic. It definitely succeeded as a standalone movie in its own right, but it was hardly Dennis Wheatley's "The Haunting of Toby Jugg". For a BBC Hallowe'en special, it was more of a wartime drama which dealt with post traumatic stress disorder than the ghost story which a lot of people were expecting from the title.

The Nightcomers (1971)

"Prequel to the Henry James classic 'Turn of the Screw' about the events leading up to the deaths of Peter Quint and Miss Jessel, and the the slow corruption of the children in their care."

This is a weird one. You are probably all familiar with "Turn of the Screw" or "The Innocents", but I bet you've never heard of Michael Winner's 1971 prequel to it.

Apart from the names of the characters, "The Nightcomers" has very little in common with "The Innocents" as it isn't even a ghost story. It's all about the strange sado-masochistic relationship between Peter Quint (Marlon Brando) and Miss Jessel (Stephanie Beacham) with the effect that they are having on the children as an afterthought.

If you've ever wanted to see Stephanie Beacham naked then this is the film for you. Other than that, it's pretty dull, sometimes plodding, and not a very enjoyable experience at all.

With a couple of scenes of animal cruelty (to a frog and a tortoise), a borderline incestuous relationship between the children, Marlon Brando's bizarre attempt at an Irish accent, and as many plot holes as you could drive a horse-drawn carriage through, "The Nightcomers" stinks as a movie, but it's still a curiosity nonetheless.

The camerawork is okay and it's nice to see England as it used to be at any time. Some of the shots aren't exactly brilliant but they are still more than acceptable.

As far as the acting goes, it's also just okay. Thora Hird overacts as a scolding housekeeper, and the kids are the usual stage school kind with their embarrassingly posh English accents and no chance of ever working again after the '70s. In case you wonder about it (as I did), the girl who played Flora (Verna Harvey) was actually nineteen at the time so it's alright to look if you want to.

"The Nightcomers" is not really a horror movie (until the end) or a particularly good one but if you've ever wondered what a piece of erotic fan fiction based on one of your own favourite movies would look like, this is probably how it would turn out if you let Michael Winner direct it.

The Uninvited (2009)

"Anna Rydell returns home to her sister (and best friend) Alex after a stint in a mental hospital, though her recovery is jeopardized thanks to her cruel stepmother, aloof father, and the presence of a ghost in their home."

That last post was far too long so I'm going "old school" (and shorter) with this one. I know that I appear to be on a bit of a remake kick right now but it's entirely accidental. I'm just finishing up my "New Reviews" section and these are the only ones which are left before I return to my "Vault".

Anyway, "The Uninvited" was a very welcome remake for me of a Korean horror called "A Tale of Two Sisters" (2003) which I just couldn't get into no matter how many times I tried. I know Asian horror has lots of fans but, if you've read a lot of my reviews, you'll see that I often have great difficulty with some of the higher-rated ones. I can assure you that it has nothing to do with having to read subtitles except that I get easily confused by all the foreign names.

There was nothing for me to get confused about with "The Uninvited" although it does share the same title as a ghost story starring Ray Milland from 1944 (and about a dozen others). It was all quite straightforward stuff with pretty girls and a bit of a mystery. I would actually call this a thriller rather than a horror but it does have some horror elements to it.

As with any film which relies on a twist, telling you anything detailed about it is almost impossible without spoiling it for you. Apart from mentioning that it looks really good (especially the house that it's all set in), the acting is acceptable although the characters aren't very likeable, and it's a PG-13 so there isn't anything too gory or sexy, there isn't much more to add.

All I'll say is that once you reach the end of the film, watch it again and marvel at how cleverly it was done so that you wouldn't immediately notice what was wrong. Of course, some people will see through the film's trickery quite early on but I didn't. In the light of far too many movies in the last two years using the same technique, I wouldn't be at all surprised if you worked it all out from the IMDb description or the trailer.

The stand-outs for me were Elizabeth Banks (who looks flawless in this movie), Arielle Kebbel, and Emily Browning, in that order. All their scenes together worked really well and covered up the secret twist perfectly. Each of these women have their admirers but all were relatively unknown to me at the time when I first watched "The Uninvited". I'm not going to be as mean as I could be but the sisters don't look much like each other so a red herring was that I thought they weren't supposed to be related at all.

Although it was marketed as a horror movie, it isn't really even a traditional ghost story. I suppose if you want to get pedantic then it is a ghost story but it doesn't involve anything supernatural. Yes, I am still being deliberately vague.

Just rent this thing from Netflix and we'll talk about it later.