Doomsday (2008)

"A futuristic action thriller where a team of people work to prevent a disaster threatening the future of the human race."

Total crap from start to finish. This is yet more proof, as if any was needed, that Neil Marshall is totally incapable of making a decent horror movie and should give up now.

Let’s look at his track record. "Dog Soldiers" was hardly inspirational unless you are really into soldiers fighting werewolves, "The Descent" was only interesting to fans of butch lesbian potholers, and now this awful ripoff of half a dozen better genre films has pretty much destroyed what little credibility Neil Marshall was trying to build up as a director.

Out of all the things to do, why did he try to mix "Resident Evil", "28 Days/Weeks Later", "Escape from New York/LA" and the "Mad Max" trilogy all in one film? Did he think we wouldn’t realise? How stupid does he think his audience are? Or was it supposed to be a parody? If it was supposed to be a parody then it certainly wasn’t funny.

I’m giving it the 1 out of 10 rating because I quite liked the idea of Scotland being sealed off from the rest of Britain. I can quite understand why Hadrian had the wall built originally, and I know that it was in every Englishman’s mind after "Braveheart" came out that we should probably build it back up again. A better idea, of course, would just be to build a 20 foot high wall around Neil Marshall to stop him making any more films.

I just couldn’t believe what I was watching. Rhona Mitra as a one-eyed Snake Plissken wannabe demonstrated the subtle lack of any acting ability whatsoever that has become her trademark, while the rest of the cast ranged from "who can be the biggest looney" to "I’ve got my money so I’ll just shout and swear a lot". Yes, Bob Hoskins, this means you!

I’m dying to see if John Murphy sues Tyler Bates over the "28 Weeks Later" soundalike background music. I wouldn’t be surprised if this doesn’t incur a few more lawsuits for plagiarism too.