Requiem for a Vampire (1971)

"Two young girls... trapped... with no escape! Forced to submit to the Horrors of the Pit!"

This isn't the equally appalling 2006 film but is a 1971 one with the same title. Actually, it's called "Vierge et vampires", "Caged Virgins", or "Requiem pour un vampire" depending on where you get it from.

It's by Jean Rollin so that makes it a French language offering. Not that there's a lot of language in this film. It's practically silent for at least the first hour!

That first hour is also just a lot of wandering around some desolate European fields (probably Belgium), woods and graveyards until the girls get to a castle (so obviously borrowed for the film from the Tourist Board - it even has safety rails in place!) with "witches" and a red haired "vampire" (of course!).

Then they get chased for a while by a grey haired Count Dracula wannabe and his minions, get captured and taken back to the castle (which they find they can't escape from), get told to go to the graveyard and lure some more victims into the castle, and, with this being a Euro sexploitation effort, some not very involving nudie scenes occur.

You'd hope that the visuals would make up for the lack of dialogue but unfortunately apart from two "hairy" girls (you know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis!), there isn't anything much to comment about there either. A defloration scene in particular is much ado about nothing.

This film is just an excuse for some insipid lesbianism, a couple of nude scenes, and a bit of feeble S & M.

For a vampire film there isn't a lot of blood. Well, not any that I can remember. It also has the least convincing sets of vampire teeth in any horror movie I've ever seen. You know how sometimes you stick a couple of french fries in your mouth like vampire teeth when you are in McDonald's (come on, you know you do it!), well, these are less scary than that!

Just in case you forget it's a vampire film there are a couple of stock shots of fruit bats (yes, fruit bats not vampire bats!) every so often.

It all comes to nothing anyway when the "vampire" decides he doesn't want to be one anymore, orders the "chateau" to be sealed and lets the girls go!