Spirit Trap (2005)

"In London, four students have a call from the student accommodation office of the local university offering lodging in an old house. The psychic Jenny, the graph design student Nick, and the couple of lovers and drug dealers Tom and Adele are welcomed by the weird Tina. Nick fixes a spirit clock, and sooner Jenny sees the crimes that happened in the house in the past, when two lovers died. Along the two next days, Jenny, Nick, Tom and Adele disclose that each one of them had killed a person on the past and also that they are trapped in the house, since a ghost is claiming a killer for a killer to release the soul of Edmund Joseph."

I've heard a rumour that this appalling piece of Lionsgate produced garbage has now hit American shores so I'm giving you all an advance warning even though the film is nearly five years old now.

Ok, so it's got Billie Piper in it from "Doctor Who". But she can't act! She may have got away with it in a BBC kids' show but in a film? Not a chance.

Sadly exactly the same can be said for Russian popstar Alsou who also has a role. She may be great at belting out songs on stage but in front of a camera she should really confine herself to modelling as she has no acting ability whatsoever.

Those are my main gripes but "What is it all about?" I hear you ask.

The students move in to a house, one of them "fixes" an old clock by opening the case and dislodging something which was wedging it (hmm, important!) and then they all run about arguing and getting killed all over the place... but mainly arguing.

The back story is about as historically inaccurate as is humanly possible and the whole thing eventually turns out to be just a poor man's version of "The Skeleton Key".

It's all yak, yak, yak with hardly any action. It's very studio bound and poorly done, sort of like a school play but with more sets. I think there's supposed to be suspense what with it being a "clock" and all but all the timing is way off with this film and the ending is extremely rushed.

There's nothing scary in it, nothing entertaining unless you are a really big fan of Billie or Alsou (and even then you'd find it a struggle to sit through), and it's just crap.

I definitely rate this as one of the worst films ever made! Another one for the Dungeon.

(And, yes, I do know that I've posted the German trailer for it above. It makes it so much more enjoyable somehow.)