Rebecca (1940)

"A self-conscious bride is tormented by the memory of her husband's dead first wife."

Although I'm the first to admit that I'm not much of a Hitchcock expert, this Oscar winning gothic thriller seems ideal (at least atmospherically) for my second recommendation in the run up to Hallowe'en.

There's not much I can tell you which you can't find out for yourself by Googling or reading Wikipedia, as it all seems fairly typical of an Alfred Hitchcock wartime film noir to me. "Rebecca" was Hitchcock's first American movie and his second adaptation of a book by Cornish author Daphne du Maurier.

Apparently, David Selznick wasn't happy with losing control as producer to the whims of Alfred Hitchcock and reshot several scenes, but I have no clue what they were or even if it matters that much. The movie ran way over budget for all kinds of reasons, and I don't think anyone involved was completely happy with it either during or after production.

Much like any other movie of the time, "Rebecca" is all very dated with mostly awful overacting and line delivery, and effects such as rear projection during the driving scenes are glaringly obvious. There's even what appears to be roadkill in the background of the second day out in Monte Carlo (actually California) with Maxim and the future Mrs de Winter.

"There will only be 8 planets left... after I destroy Uranus."

With several changes to the original novel by Daphne du Maurier, the standout amd most memorable character becomes the sinister housekeeper Mrs Danvers (as played by Judith Anderson) rather than the romantic leads. Danvers is quite the looker, hardly ever blinks, and has the worst kind of fangirl crush on the dead former mistress of the house. Weirdly, we never get to see the titular Rebecca de Winter in flashbacks, and have to learn nearly everything about her from the rose-tinted memories of her obsessed servant. But just like the novel, the new Mrs de Winter doesn't even get a first name.

The only big problem with "Rebecca" is that it's hard to care about any of the characters other than Laurence Olivier's cuckolded Maxim, and to some extent, George Sanders as the opportunistic adulterer Max Favell. A very young Joan Fontaine is simply far too mousey, awkward, and scared of her own shadow as she comes to terms with her new position among the upper classes to be a sympathetic character for modern audiences who have never encountered domestic service themselves. Except for period TV dramas such as "Upstairs Downsatirs" and "Downton Abbey", I'm glad to say that I've never had much to do with the antiquated British feudal system either.

What makes "Rebecca" worth watching for its two-hour duration is the set design for the interiors of Manderley, the atmosphere, and the anticipation of revelations with a twist. Getting there may not be worth the trouble for some people (including anyone who has seen or heard any of the remakes and clones), but as a precursor to "The Uninvited" (1944)—an equally dated ghost story which I've often recommended for Hallowe'en—it's certainly interesting to see how certain moral codes were only everso slightly more relaxed four years later.

Due yet another remake any time now, "Rebecca" is still worth checking out if you don't want to wait. A certain British newspaper gave away barebones DVDs of the movie several years ago (which you can now pick up for pennies on eBay), and of course, it's been uploaded all over the internet streaming sites (despite not being officially in the Public Domain as far as I know) for those who want to search for it.

As an old black and white movie, I don't know if there's any benefit in buying a blu-ray version, but I'm sure at least one exists. The existing DVDs have several grainy moments near the end which could be the result of an intentional effect shot through a piece of net (perhaps to simulate fog or smoke), but they are all good enough for most people.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

"After getting in a car accident, a woman is held in a shelter with two men, who claim the outside world is affected by a widespread chemical attack."

We all know how trendy it is for the jealous never-will-bes to bash J.J. Abrams (or any of the other successful producers/directors such as Michael Bay, Zack Snyder, Alex Proyas, or Neill Blomkamp) with their cowardly passive-aggressive tweets and boring podcasts which nobody but their equally slimy friends listens to, so don't think for a moment that I'm going to pander to any of their kind of audience with my review. This movie was directed by a new addition to the Bad Robot team, Dan Trachtenberg, rather than Abrams himself anyway.

Although it's no secret that I absolutely hated "Cloverfield" (2008) when it came out, and think that "Gwoemul" (2006) is far superior in every way, there were some bits of it I liked. I would have liked those bits even more if "Cloverfield" hadn't been filmed in the motion-sickness inducing faux "found footage" style. Thus, the fact that "10 Cloverfield Lane" (a sequel in not much more than name only, since it started life as a standalone story called "The Cellar") wasn't filmed with shakycams makes it a whole lot better than I expected without having to do anything else.

I used to have a piss bucket this size too.

"10 Cloverfield Lane" is more or less a triple-hander featuring John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead (from "The Thing" remake), and John Gallagher Jr. (who I've never seen or heard of before). There are a couple of other cast members who appear briefly, and a few voices on the radio, but the bulk of the story is really about the interactions of the aforementioned leads, how they cope with their confinement, their suspicions of each other, and all that kind of thing. There's a hint of romance too, but not much. There's no sex or nudity, barely any "bad language" (oh, so edgy!), and not much of anything scary either. I think you can guess the certification.

As a psychological thriller, "10 Cloverfield Lane" is as full of clichés and formulas as most modern movies. If you haven't seen many movies, you'll probably think it's pretty good, but those of us who are older and have seen just about everything the genre has to offer will find it all very predictable and somewhat irritating. Let's face it, we aren't the target audience for products like this anyway, so it's likely to make us even grumpier than usual.

Despite this, the cast does a great job with what is essentially a ripoff of at least one famous episode of "The Twilight Zone", and John Goodman plays the "evil all along" trope in much the same way as Chuck Connors in "Tourist Trap" (1979). All Howard (John Goodman) needs is a limp, some creepy dolls, and telekinetic powers, and "10 Cloverfield Lane" would almost be the same movie. So yeah, it's really not the same at all, but you'll see what I mean.

It's a 550 piece jigsaw puzzle called "Catfish". That is all.

Once again, there were no cats in this movie. I'm obviously not on the right blog to make a big deal out of that at the moment, but at least Emmett (John Gallagher Jr.) and Michelle (Mary Elizabth Winstead) spend some quality screentime putting together a puzzle of a surreal snorkelling cat.

Apart from bonding the two younger characters, does the puzzle have any significance other than being a puzzle? Who knows? I'm sure there are a few theories floating around the nerd sites, but I couldn't care less about any of them. Looking for subtext in a throwaway movie like this (or any movie for that matter) is absolutely pointless unless you are one of those stooges on the "big name" sites (and in magazines) who are desperate to publish absolutely anything to vainly stay relevant, spoil other people's hobbies, and get money out of their sheep.

For that reason, I don't really have anything else to say about "10 Cloverfield Lane" except that it's better than the first "Cloverfield", it's not "groundbreaking", and it certainly isn't very original. It's entertaining, the production values are way above average, and John Goodman is awesome, and you can read what you like into what I haven't written about or said in this sentence.

Clever graphics, but the bunker isn't really that far underground.

Minor Spoiler
Do we really need yet another "final girl" trope? Puh-lease! Just fuck off with this trendy "progressive" shit. We get it! Women, just like all human beings, can do stuff. Now all the SJWs can clap their manginas with glee. Oh yay, she's a "strong woman". You go, girl! Bahahahaha! Jannicke in "Cold Prey" (2006) is still much better than all of them. And Sarah Connor is pretty fantastic too. Well, when she was played by Lena Headey anyway.
End of Spoiler

I suppose, given the fact that there's nothing any better to watch right now, I have to concede that I enjoyed "10 Cloverfield Lane" more than I thought I would or ever should. There's no lag, the story plays out quite nicely until the extremely annoying ending, and it's not quite as shit as most American or Canadian movies.

If you're looking for a psychological thriller rather than a pure horror or sci-fi movie, "10 Cloverfield Lane" is okay. Just don't expect it to be as great as something like "How I Ended This Summer" (2010) though.

Farm House (2008)

(AKA "Farmhouse")



"Farmhouse is a psychological thriller set in the modern day mid-west. We follow a young couple as they leave their everyday lives behind and head out to a new beginning; starting over from scratch. After becoming stranded in an isolated vineyard in the middle of nowhere, the young couple is forced to face the secrets they're running from, all the while trying to escape the malicious intent of the vineyard's mysterious inhabitants."

Here's a blast from the past. Other than the gory torture scenes, I'd completely forgotten about this little gem until I was reading through one of my subreddits and realised that I ought to watch it again. How I forgot to review it is another story, but the end of 2008 and early 2009 wasn't the greatest time for me, and I had far more important things on my mind.

Anyway, having decided to rewatch "Farm House" to refresh my memory, at first I thought, "How many more times is 'Voices' (1973) going to be remade?" Of course, the plot isn't exactly the same, but there are many parallels in the first 30 minutes which should lead you to suspect an equivalent twist ending.

"Farm House" isn't a predictable ghost story though. The majority of the movie is a psychological thriller with extreme torture elements. I know that part of the horror genre has fallen out of favour and died away to nothing, but at the time it was great, especially when coupled with such mean-spiritedness and Kelly Hu being sexy as Hell (pun intended)! It's not that Jamie Anne Allman isn't beautiful in this too, but Kelly Hu is something else! The scene between the two of them involving a cheese grater will haunt you long after this movie ends, and you'll probably never look at a meat thermometer in the same way ever again either!

The acting is superb all round, although Steven Weber's psycho Samael eclipses William Lee Scott's not-quite-heroic Chad and Nick Heyman's valiant attempt at portraing the deaf Alal. The characters are stereotypes to some extent, and clichés abound, but there's actually depth to their characterisation which doesn't happen so much nowadays. How things have gone downhill in only 5 years!

As for the story, it's hard to tell you anything about it without spoiling it for you. Obviously, I don't mind giving spoilers for bad movies, but I prefer to keep them to a minimum for good ones. Suffice it to say that "Farm House" is pretty harrowing stuff and makes director George Bessudo's previous movie "Lake Dead" (2007) seem tame in comparison. If you look up the plot outlines, there are some superficial similarities between the two, of course, but it's like comparing apples to oranges. Everything (including the location, cinematography, and talent) is superior in "Farm House" to anything that was part of the After Dark Horrorfests.

Yes, I know I was going to stick to more "Hallowe'eny" movies this month, but my cunning plan has already been scuppered by a ton of new DVD and VOD releases. I don't suppose it matters much. Any horror movie is good this month, right? But if you want to see something truly horrific, I recommend that you grab yourself a copy of "Farm House" as soon as possible. The "Twilight Zone"-esque reveal goes on for a few minutes too long, but I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Another one for "The Vault".

uwantme2killhim? (2013)

"A teenage boy's descent into the dangerous world of the Internet and the harrowing consequences of his actions. A true story."

Based on a news story originally published by Vanity Fair, "uwantme2killhim?" is the off-putting txt-speak title of Andrew Douglas' somewhat flawed dramatisation. It's written like that for reasons which will become obvious (except that spaces are used in the chat room scene), but those of us of a certain age who have never succumbed to typing like an idiot are more likely to pass this movie by as something which is meant for teenagers. That's a real shame too, since there's a semi-decent psychological thriller lurking within.

It's not the best movie in the world (it looks like a cheap British soap opera), but "uwantme2killhim?" tries hard to present a true story which is far stranger than fiction in an entertaining manner. Artistic licence intentionally prevents you from seeing the whole picture until the end, and depending on how much you think the story could have been more realistic, you will probably still agree that it's quite cleverly done. For anyone taking the movie at face value, however, the ending will feel like an enormous cheat.

The biggest problem though, other than changing the names, ages, and location to protect the not-so-innocent, is that the characters feel "wrong" in every scene. It's not just the clichés, everything they do and say reeks of fakery. To some extent it's intentional, but a lot of it is simply because the casting is questionable and the acting stinks. Not knowing how much is meant to be one way or the other until after the movie ends would be metafiction genius if handled better, but it's more likely to throw you out of the story than draw you in.

Who cut your hair? Dewhursts?

It isn't an issue that the characters talk to their computer screens as they type their words into a chatroom, we've all done that before. One character uses speech recognition software anyway, but it's easy to accept the movie convention when the others are clearly not using Microsoft NetMeeting or the yet to be invented Skype. I remember using Microsoft NetMeeting and a webcam at the end of the '90s, so the use of 2003 technology is spot-on otherwise. If you're feeling nostalgic for 2003, this is about as good as it gets without watching a movie which was actually made then.

Similarly, the school scenes may seem contrived and particularly horrible, but they are awkwardly realistic and familiar too for some bizarre reason which I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it's because I've tried to forgot what it was like to be a very British teenager. The sad truth is that we're all complete dicks between 14-18 (and older!) with no exceptions, and I can recognise a lot of myself and my former school friends in the characters. Not that we were teenagers in the 2000s, but some things are universal. For the sake of not committing libel, all I can say is that we were some vile and immature little buggers.

While Channel 4's much shorter docu-drama version, "Kill Me If You Can" (2005), is slightly better overall, "uwantme2killhim?" isn't a bad "remake". Andrew Douglas' "The Amityville Horror" (2005) wasn't as strong as the original either, but as he's hardly a prolific director, maybe it's too early to say if there's a pattern forming.

Dark Tourist (2012)

"A psychological-thriller in the haunting tradition of films like Taxi Driver and Monster, The Grief Tourist takes us into the chilling labyrinth of a man's dark hobby and his even darker mind."

Not a review today but a recommendation. Apparently it's "Labor Day" or something in America, so I'm going to celebrate it by doing as little as possible. Writing a blog post is obviously such hard work!

Anyway, it may interest you to know that Suri Krishnamma's "Dark Tourist", formerly known as "The Grief Tourist" (presumably to differentiate it from Dom Joly's book about the weird hobby rather than the same subject matter), has a limited theatrical release at City Cinemas Village East Cinema, New York. Check it out if you live within range. [It's also available via VOD and iTunes for anybody else.]

As a film noir-ish hybrid of "Chained" (2012) and "Taxi Driver" (1976), "Dark Tourist" might not appeal to everyone unless they are into serial killers or stories about maniacs becoming that way, but if you're reading this blog, it's highly likely that you are the target audience. Even though I'm more into fantasy than real life murders, I think that "Dark Tourist" is a very good movie indeed. It's well written, nicely shot, and has an off-beat, gritty, character-driven feel to it like "Edmond" (2005).

Aside from Michael Cudlitz's outstanding performance which I'm sure is being raved about from one side of the internet to the other, it's also extremely nice to see Melanie Griffith in something on the big screen again. She's still much the same as before except older, wiser, and a better actress than I remember her to be. The scenes involving Jim (Michael Cuditz) and Betsy (Melanie Griffith) are great.

My only minor criticism is that "Dark Tourist" should've been longer. For that reason, the story seems to have some unnecessary additional information near the end which doesn't quite fit in. I won't spoil it for you, but suffice it to say that Suzanne Quast as Iris the prostitute is definitely all woman!

"Dark Tourist" is the kind of bleak and brutal stuff which I'm always willing to recommend. It's not going to make me take up grief tourism—"the act of travelling with the intent to visit places of tragedy or disaster"—as a hobby though. I'm already morbid enough as it is.

Have a great holiday, everybody!

The Body (2012)

(AKA El Cuerpo)



"A detective searches for the body of a femme fatale which has gone missing from a morgue."

If you're a regular follower of my Twitter feed or Facebook page, you'll know that I've been raving about this thriller intermittently ever since I first heard about it. Not only am I an enthusiastic ogler of Belén Rueda, but I naively expected "The Body" to get a theatrical release.

Unfortunately, after only playing at a few festivals, "The Body" has gone straight-to-DVD (and Blu-ray) in the UK, and there's still no news of any US release. This is a bit of a disappointment, but it's only to be expected in a country where envious eyes are probably drawing up their plans for a remake and holding off distribution for as long as possible. Such shenanigans surrounded "[REC]", "Let the Right One In" and "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", so I have every reason to be cynical. Also, since this movie is already so American in style, you just have to laugh at the irony of anyone wanting to remake it in the first place, but I'm sure it'll happen eventually.

"The Body", you see, is a genuine homage to classic film noir without falling into the neo-noir trap. It's a contemporary version of Agatha Christie-style thrillers for the most part with twist on top of twist. It also owes a great deal to Chan-wook Park's "Vengeance Trilogy" stylistically, but only insofar as Park's movies also homage better pulp mysteries of the past. "The Body" is as beautifully filmed but less taxing on the senses as, essentially, it's an easy to follow "popcorn flick" dressed up to look like more than it really is. That is until, of course, everything is revealed at the end.

Without giving away the plot too much, all I can tell you is that "The Body" is mainly a police investigation which takes place over one rainy night with flashbacks and some hypothetical scenes of events which may not have happened. Structurally, it's reminiscent of "Endless Night" (1972) and "Basic Instinct" (1992) but not without a couple of healthy dollops of "Sunset Blvd." (1950) mixed in. Thus, noir genre fans should feel right at home among the formulas. One very gory make-up effect will please horror fans too.

Belén Rueda and Hugo Silva.

While some people might say that "The Body" is clichéd, generic, and a little bit too slick for its own good, the perfect pacing, atmosphere, and performances turn it into a very classy piece of storytelling. There's maybe not quite enough depth to the characterisation to cause empathy, but you could say that about "Double Indemnity" (1944) or any of the Bogart vehicles. Two-dimensional characterisation is crucial for the various reveals in such thrillers anyway. Outside of Mankiewicz or Hitchcock, there's never been much time devoted to character driven mysteries which actually work, and writer/director Oriol Paulo hasn't taken that route with "The Body" either.

The focus is on Hugo Silva, who as Álex Ulloa is trapped like a fly skewered on a pin, and José Coronado as the tenacious detective Jaime Peña who questions him. Both are well cast in their roles although there are moments when it's hard to believe that bearded and bespectacled Hugo Silva would have enticed not one but two beautiful women into his bed. With much sport made of Belén Rueda's age along the way, Álex Ulloa is immediately defined as a gold digger who has bitten off more than he can chew this time, and he's not a likeable character.

José Coronado, on the other hand, doesn't develop any further than being a typical cop haunted by his own "Lost Lenore" tragedy. He certainly looks the part, and even the most casual glance at his previous TV and film credits indicate that he's been typecast here. In case you're wondering, a lead role in "R.I.S. Científica" (a one-season Spanish version of C.S.I.) is his most recent claim to fame. There's a little bit more to detective Jaime Peña than meets the eye, but you'll have to find out what that is by watching this movie yourself. Unlike some over-privileged, douchebag movie reviewers, I'm not going to give away the details.

Sadly, Belén Rueda doesn't get nearly as much screen time as she did in "The Orphanage" (2007) or "Julia's Eyes" (2010)—both of which are credited to the producers of this movie—but she still has a very important part to play even as a corpse. That bit I can give away because it's in the synopsis. However, as a compensation for the lack of Belén Rueda's MILFy goodness, Aura Garrido provides a decent amount of eyecandy as Álex's girlfriend Carla. Once again, there's more to her than just a pretty face.

Aura Garrido as Carla.

The supporting players are all top notch Spanish TV actors from various dramas which haven't travelled. Some stand out more than others including fierce-looking Patrícia Bargalló as Agent Norma who deserved to have a bigger part. Trust me, you'll notice her because she looks like Noomi Rapace from "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo". I'm sure it's meant to be an intentional in-joke as there are several other visual homages to that movie. For even more fun, write down a list of as many famous thrillers as you can remember before watching "The Body" and tick off all the lines of dialogue that you've heard before.

Ultimately, "The Body" is a noir-geek's paradise for identifying all the "borrowings", but that's exactly what it's meant to be to some extent. Despite its overall serious tone, and one "gross-out" moment, the ending is so contrived that you know little more was intended than a display of Oriol Paulo's erudition and some very dark humour. Make no mistake, "The Body" is not a comedy—no jokes are cracked, and nobody except Belén Rueda laughs—but that doesn't stop it being witty for other reasons. Whereas some thrillers allow the journey to become more important than the destination (or vice versa), "The Body" is pleasing throughout.

Even if you're not a big fan of mysteries and thrillers, "The Body" is easily the best movie you will see this year.

Click the pic to visit the official Facebook page.

Magic Magic (2013)

"A naive young tourist's road trip across Chile with friends turns into a waking nightmare."

Just a quickie for "Surprise Sunday" which I'm forced to backdate due to the automated scheduling on Blogger failing. Actually, it's my fault, but it's easier to blame someone else! I wrote this review and forgot to set the posting time. Doh!

Anyway, what we have here is a tragic moment for a group of "teenagers" in a foreign country, and the events leading up to it. Essentially, it's a drama about mental illness with elements of a psychological thriller thrown in as red herrings.

Starring Juno Temple as the ill-fated and oversensitive nutter, Emily Browning (from "The Uninvited" remake) as her best friend, and Michael Cera in a even more immature and sadistic role than usual, there's a lot to like in "Magic Magic" but also a lot to hate about it too. For one thing, it doesn't have much to do with magic unless you count some bogus hypnotism and a bizarre folk-magic ritual near the end.

Thus, it's not a horror movie or a supernatural movie per se, but it has a few creepy bits and an air of menace about it in places which you have to be in the right headspace to appreciate. If you've ever felt isolated in a foreign country, especially one where you don't speak the language, you'll be able to empathise with Alicia (Juno Temple) to a certain extent.

Pretty Pretty

Needless to say the actresses in this are all fairly attactive. Alicia and Sarah (Emily Browning) look very natural although Barbara (Catalina Sandino Moreno)—who I couldn't find a picture of but is in the trailer above—steals the show with her exotic beauty and sexy accent in the rare moments that she's on screen. Juno Temple flashes some T&A for perverts everywhere, and gets dry-humped by a horny dog, so kudos to her for being such a good sport.

For the ladies, Agustín Silva, the younger brother of the writer/director Sebastián Silva, should be enough eyecandy because Michael Cera sure as Hell isn't going to do it for anybody! Not only is Brink (Michael Cera) exceedingly irritating, but he's creepy with it as well. My West Coast friends would describe him as "rapey" although he's just a typical ugly teenager who hasn't realised that he doesn't have the looks to pull off his awkward attempts at seduction. He's also chosen the wrong girl to practice on for reasons which become more apparent as the story progresses.

Where's yo chin at, dude?

Overall, "Magic Magic" is an uncomfortable movie to watch and not a completely satisfying one either. As a "moment in time", it fails to be as enigmatic as a cult European movie despite having a similarly unresolved ending. When I say "unresolved", it does have an ending, but it leaves you wanting to know a bit more. Or not, as the case may be.

The filming in Chile is nice for people who would like to see a South American country which isn't so "third world" as xenophobes pretend it is. Chile is actually not much different to Europe financially, but the culture shock will still be there for spoiled Americans. As a coddled Brit, I've never been to Chile either and don't really want to after "Hidden in the Woods" (2012), but that's another story. The Chilean actresses are very good-looking from what I've seen so far, and if I was 20 years younger (and stupid enough to believe in movies!), I would be backpacking my way there right now.

I would recommend "Magic Magic" for the acting, but all that is negated by three scenes of animal cruelty which I'm not going to go into detail about. Suffice it to say that although they may be necessary to the story, such scenes aren't something which I wish to see in anything which is supposed to be entertainment. I've seen far too much animal cruelty in real life caused by idiots like the ones portrayed in this movie, and it just makes me angry.

You have been warned!

How I Ended This Summer (2010)

(AKA Kak ya provel etim letom)



"A polar station on a desolate island in the Arctic Ocean. Sergei, a seasoned meteorologist, and Pavel, a recent college graduate, are spending months in complete isolation on the once strategic research base. Pavel receives an important radio message and is still trying to find the right moment to tell Sergei, when fear, lies and suspicions start poisoning the atmosphere..."

I thought that I'd already posted a review of this Russian psychological thriller which won the 2010 London film festival, but I was mistaken. As it's "Thriller Thursday", here's a quick review at last and my recommendation that you watch it.

Filmed in three months with a $2,500,000 budget, "How I Ended This Summer" is Aleksey Popogrebskiy's second full-length feature after "Roads to Koktebel" (2003). I can't say that I was as enamoured by "Koktebel" as many critics were back in the day, but Aleksey Popogrebskiy has excelled himself with "How I Ended This Summer". The cinematography is outstanding, and the acting (as far as any non-Russian can tell) is superb.

"How I Ended This Summer" is slowly paced, but the mounting tension which is caused by miscommunication and intentional non-communication makes this study of paranoia in an isolated environment even better than "The Thing" (1982) in places. With "The Thing" being my favourite horror movie of all time, I don't make such a bold claim lightly. There are occasions when the story lags, but "The Thing" isn't perfect either. "How I Ended This Summer" is extremely uncomfortable to watch and far more tragic.

The bad news is that it's a Russian movie with subtitles so, if you don't like reading, this might not be the right kind of movie for you. The alternative is to learn Russian, of course, but it would be overkill considering that there aren't that many lines of dialogue anyway. Laconic, uncommunicative characters may well be Aleksey Popogrebskiy's trademark based on the two movies of his which I've seen.

In "How I Ended This Summer", all the trouble is caused not only by lack of communication but by fear. Pavel (Grigoriy Dobrygin) is a young student who is so terrified of the stereotypically strict, gruff and physically powerful older man, Sergei (Sergey Puskepalis), that he daren't tell him some very important family news in case he goes crazy. The longer Pavel tries to cover up the secret, the more suspicious of each other the two men become until things can only end badly for at least one of them.

Some of Pavel's decisions make you want to shake some sense into him especially as Sergei doesn't really seem to be that potentially volatile. I'm sure it's possible to read more into the story as a clash of the old, stoic, Soviet way of life with the weaknesses of the capitalism which has replaced it. Capitalism certainly breeds deceit, and that message may well be the political subtext, but you don't need to analyse such things to appreciate "How I Ended the Summer" at all. There are moments which make you wonder if Pavel is justified, but others where it's clear that Sergei isn't a bad guy. There's no black and white but lots of grey. The bottom line is you have to ask yourself what you would do for the best in the same situation?

At first, it seems that Pavel is hiding the news from home to protect Sergei from doing harm to himself, but it becomes increasingly obvious that Pavel is too immature for such altruism and is all about his own self-preservation. As in many situation comedies, very bad decisions are compounded and escalate, but "How I Ended This Summer" has no comedy to it unless it's of the darkest kind. The result of this bleak "comedy of errors" is truly very sad.

I'm not going to go into any more more depth except to say that there are recognisable horror formulas in "How I Ended This Summer" which certainly bring it close to being included in our favourite genre. At one point, there's a tense game of hide and seek which reeks of similar moments between stalker and victim in "Halloween" or any other slasher.

Horror is pretty dead right now so it's the perfect opportunity to take in some related subgenres. For most people, "How I Ended This Summer" wouldn't be seen as a horror movie at all, but the more you think about it, the more it should be.

The Innocents (1961)

"A young governess for two children becomes convinced that the house and grounds are haunted."

It's October! Once again Hallowe'en is on its way and all the horror movie bloggers are frantically scratching around for something to write about. Not me though. I already have my October viewing list sorted out, and I will be bringing you another 31 days of supernatural terror. Wooooo! Ghosties!

Starting off my "Hallowe'en Countdown" is one of oldest ghostie films which is still worthy of rewatching. Having already reviewed "The Haunting" (1963) and "The Uninvited" (1944), it was time to pull "The Innocents" (1961) out of "The Vault". If you are lucky enough to have cable, according to the TCM monthly schedule, all three movies will be shown back-to-back on Wednesday, October 10th with "The Innocents" actually at 3.30am on Thursday morning so you don't even need to buy it.

Based on "The Turn of the Screw" by Henry James, Jack Clayton's version of "The Innocents" has become the best-regarded adaptation of the classic 1898 ghost story. It wasn't the first, however, as there was also an opera and a live television play directed by John Frankenheimer two years earlier. For all of you who hate remakes, "The Innocents" was a kind of remake, but it was a considerable improvement over the TV movie which you can watch clips from on YouTube. Not to belittle Ingrid Bergman's performance, Deborah Kerr is simply much better in the role as a governess.

It probably helps if you haven't seen Deborah Kerr in anything else if you want to fully appreciate her in "The Innocents". Having previously played a nun in "Black Narcissus" (1947) and a governess in "The King and I" (1956), her portrayal of Miss Giddens is occasionally little more than a logical fusion of the two. It's not that she was a bad actress, but as a product of the time, she was a bit limited. The very dated and "Victorianised" dialogue didn't exactly help matters much there either.

Some younger viewers will undoubtedly find the talkiness of this production rather boring in places. At times, I actually found it all to be quite awkward and cringeworthy myself especially with all the clippy-clop, posh English accents. Although I still appreciate "The Innocents" as a ghost story, it lacks realism even considering the period that it was set in. Trust me, I'm English, and I can't imagine anyone speaking like that ever in real life without getting a punch in the throat.

The housekeeper, Mrs. Grose, comes across as the much more credible character due to Megs Jenkin's Northern accent which slightly lessens the jarring quality of the words she speaks. Being no stranger to horror movies since appearing in "The Monkey's Paw" (1948) and going on to "Asylum" (1972), it was no great surprise that Dan Curtis of "Dark Shadows" fame got Megs Jenkin to reprise her role as Mrs. Grose for his own TV movie adaptation of "The Turn of the Screw" (1974).

Staginess aside, the little kids, Miles (Martin Stephens) and Flora (Pamela Franklin), are also really outstanding and genuinely creepy. If, like me, you don't like kids anyway, you can see the evilness behind their façade of innocence which was either brilliant acting or just something naturally horrible about children. A couple of scenes of animal cruelty really made me hate them. There are even suggestions of incest and paedophilia which are downplayed almost to non-existence, but they still deliver some shocking stuff especially in the case of the obviously psychopathic Miles.

The ambiguities raised by the story don't just stop there. In a big change to the novel, it is never truly explained if the ghosts and possessions are real or just in Miss Gidden's head. As much as I prefer the supernatural explanation, the fact that her character seems to be a sexually-repressed "old maid" (for lack of a better term) has tempted numerous essay writers into psychological analysis of her character and her apparent nervous breakdown throughout the movie. Make no mistake about it, "The Innocents" has some very adult elements which were explored further (and rather poorly) ten years later in Michael Winner's "The Nightcomers" (1971).

If you want scares, Freddie Francis' cinematography almost provides enough black and white creepiness on its own without the more startling scenes. I rewatched "The Innocents" during a gloomy and rainy afternoon and, not to put too fine a point of it, pants were nearly shat several times. I say "nearly" because the timing is occasionally a bit off, and I'm too hardcore to really be frightened by anything in a movie.

I still highly recommend "The Innocents" to anyone who loves ghost stories or who loves analysing characters afterwards. While not quite Hitchcock, there's a lot more depth to "The Innocents" than most horror (and proto-horror) movies from the 1960s.

See the Sea (1997)

(AKA Regarde la mer)



"Sasha, a young British woman, is living with her baby daughter at Ile d'Yeu, a peaceful beach community. A stranger appears. Her name is Tatiana, she's passing through, and pitches her tent in Sasha's yard. The two women build an odd rapport, and tension builds as events unfold."

Having now seemingly run out of anything without subtitles to watch on Netflix, I decided to give this little film from François Ozon a go. It was only 52 minutes long so it wasn't any worse than watching a TV episode really.

It was okay but not exactly brilliant. I could tell what was going to happen from the moment Tatiana arrived but I was hoping for a lot more sordid action first. Although it didn't really go the way that I wanted, it was still pretty filthy so I wasn't too disappointed. My new word for the day is "chairgasm".

The actresses were quite good though neither was all that physically attractive. Their characters were even more disgusting so I didn't exactly warm to either of them. Sasha, in particular, was just so clueless that she deserved everything that happened to her.

I've got a feeling that "See the Sea" was supposed to be shocking when it came out but now it's nothing special really. It's well done considering the low-budget but not something I'd want to buy especially now that I know the price at Amazon. $22.49 for a 52 minute film? Get real. I wouldn't give you more than 50c for it.

Unless you are a film school student or similar then you wouldn't watch "See the Sea" more than once. As an obvious precursor to "À l'intérieur" (2007) it may be of some historical interest though, since I hate that film with a passion, I don't even care.

It's not scary but, fortunately, it's not arty. "See the Sea" is more of a character study than a thriller and not really something that horror fans would ever rave about.

Hidden (2009)

(AKA Skjult)



"Painful memories arise when Kai Koss goes back to his childhood home after 19 years and inherits his dead mother's house."

It has honestly taken me three days (in instalments) to get through "Hidden" because, as much as I wanted to give up on it entirely, I just wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't suffer through slow, boring, nonsensical films like this occasionally.

I should have realised it was going to be crap when I saw that it was one of the "After Dark Horrorfest" movies. Since the first collection, I've done my best to avoid them but, unfortunately, I rented this through Netflix and had no idea what it even was until it arrived.

Basically, I thought it was going to be a ghost story at first but it turned out to be a difficult to follow psychological thriller with a little bit of mystery thrown in. It had a couple of gory kills and a creepy atmosphere but, ultimately, it was all trying to be too clever and was very confusing.

For those of you who want all the spoilers, it's like this. Kai Koss, played by Kristoffer Joner (who seems to be pretty famous in Norway), saw his parents get killed in a car crash when he was a boy and was abducted by a mad old woman to replace her own son who escaped from her after years of abuse. Kai is really Peter but he doesn't realise it until after the death of the old woman who he thought was his mother. As his mind starts to put two and two together, he goes on a killing spree for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Of course, you are supposed to believe that the real "Peter" is still alive all the way through and was tortured by the mother until he escaped after her death, but, no matter how arty, boring and confused the writer/director, Pål Øie, tried to make the story, it's all fairly predictable.

A lot of things in "Hidden" make no sense in a "Twin Peaks" kind of way while others are just gaping plot holes with no explanation possible. The acting is good but the characters aren't very interesting so it's a moot point. None of the performances are memorable and the whole film is a complete waste of time.

Some people might like the occasional scenes of fjords and forests or marvel at how sparse the population appears to be in this version of Norway. I've never been to Norway so I honestly have no idea if it really is isolated like that or if it's just more contrived weirdness but I really didn't like it.

The best part of "Hidden" is the song, "Out of the Cage", during the final credits. Karin Park also plays the part of the Swedish hotel receptionist but I have no idea if her character is supposed to really exist or if, as a famous popstar, she's just another figment of Kai's imagination.



You can guess where this awful movie is going, can't you? Yes, it's another one for The Dungeon and I wish I hadn't bothered spending so much time on it in the first place. I'm very glad that didn't buy "Hidden" and have no intention of ever watching it or anything else by this director ever again. I rate this film as "extremely disappointing".

Exam (2009)

"Eight talented candidates have reached the final stage of selection to join the ranks of a mysterious and powerful corporation. Entering a windowless room, an Invigilator gives them eighty minutes to answer one simple question."

It's funny what Netflix suggests for you based on "your taste preferences", isn't it? Since I've been watching a lot of streaming "Dark, Suspenseful, Psychological Thrillers" recently, I was presented with "Exam" as one of my options. I'd never even heard of it and didn't really have much interest in watching it but, since I had another snow day with nothing else to do except see how honey cheese flavoured cheesy poofs I could get into my mouth in one go, I fired up my laptop and clicked "Play".

Starring nobody you've ever heard of outside of the UK (including a lot of TV actors from things like "Eastenders", "Holby City" and "Doctor Who"), "Exam" is an obviously low-budget, almost "Twilight Zone" sci-fi drama with a "Ten Little Indians" feel to it. I was immediately reminded of "Lifeboat", "Lifepod" and the "Cube" films and, due to the presence of Colin Salmon, "Resident Evil" too. As soon as I saw him, I remembered a "Doctor Who" episode that I'd seen him in recently and I knew that I was in for something good. It's funny how one actor can make that much of a difference even if, in this case, he isn't actually on screen for very long.

I was also quite impressed with how the various characters were shown getting dressed during the opening credits sequence. It's intimate, emotive and it very effectively added more exposition than any dialogue could ever do. I remembered just how it felt to get ready for examinations I have taken myself, the nerves involved, the anxiety, and how I wouldn't even be able to sleep properly the night before. I think this all added a lot to how I was willingly able to suspend my disbelief about the extremes these characters would go to later on.

One thing I don't like about watching movies on my laptop is that when they are filmed with so many extreme "warts and all" close-ups, I start to judge people by their skin pores, teeth, and any blemishes I see before they even begin to act. There are four absolutely beautiful girls in this, but because of the camerawork, I found myself completely unattracted to any of them. The same thing happened to me during the kissing scene in "Jennifer's Body" as pimply faced Megan Fox made me feel a little bit queasy. I'd be interested to know if anyone else notices things like this.

Anyway, to cut a not so long story even shorter, the whole thing is about a group of very different people all stuck together in one room trying to work out how to pass an exam to get a top job. If you imagine the worst people possible from "Big Brother" doing one of their weekly tasks then you get the idea. There are clever ones, nasty ones, natural leaders and followers, but all of them want to win at any cost. Keep that in mind when you pick your favourites at the beginning and be prepared for a few surprises should you choose to watch "Exam" yourself.

Another film that this reminded me of was "The Breakfast Club". It's probably the setting more than anything else but I'd even go so far as saying that the way the backgrounds of each character came out were quite similar. Admittedly, there's no hint of romance and not a lot of comedy in "Exam", but I did feel that it could have gone that way a few times if the script and direction hadn't been as controlled as it was. I wanted something to happen between Luke Mably and Nathalie Cox, and there certainly seemed to be some subtext there. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out to be what I thought it was at all.

Luke Mably may be known to American TV viewers for his role in "The Gates". I still haven't watched a single episode of it so I couldn't tell you who he is in it or whether the show is any good or not. In "Exam" he's absolutely excellent though, and you'll love and hate him at the same time. He pretty much eclipses all the others apart from former "Eastender" Jimi Mistry, but this is one of those stories where the characters you don't really notice turn out to be the most important.

You'll never guess the ending which is de rigueur for this genre unless you are one of those annoying people who can work out who the villain is in "Scooby Doo" cartoons or something. I'm sure there are a lot of reviewers who would lie and say that they worked out how it was going to end right from the start, but I'll happily admit that I didn't have a clue myself. I was too wrapped up in watching everyone solve the puzzle to even think about what it would lead to, and that is both the film's major strength and its weakness.

The slightly futuristic setting and the revelations about what is going on in the world outside which has lead the eight people to be taking this particular exam was a very inspired idea. The downside to this was that, ultimately, I didn't really care and found it to be a little bit far-fetched. The final scenes are somewhat of a cop-out, but at least they don't end up dead and living on an island or anything ridiculous like that. I had a horrible feeling that they would be when Jimi Mistry almost turned into Sayid at one point.

If you noticed how I've highlighted a lot of similarities between "Exam" and other films and TV shows then you'll probably realise that "Exam" isn't all that original. It really does borrow its best points from things we've all seen before. Having said that, all these elements have been so skilfully put together that most people wouldn't even notice. I suppose that's the curse of watching as many things as I do inside and outside of the horror genre. After a while, there really is nothing that original any more, just how it is presented with a slightly different spin on it.

Before I end this review, I have to mention that Adar Beck who plays "Dark" (they are all named after their hair colour or racial type) has some absolutely stunning photos of herself on her IMDb profile. I don't know anything about her since "Exam" was her first real film appearance other than a short which I've never seen, but I hope that she's in more good things in the future. Yes, I do now have a little crush on her, but it won't effect my rating of "Exam" in any way.

I'm happy to give "Exam" a pass mark of 7 out of 10. It has some great performances, looks good, and it held my interest all the way through. For someone like me who has the attention span of a gnat with ADHD, this is a great achievement. It only loses marks because the emotional payoff at the end didn't do anything for me as a hardened horror fan without much compassion for the human race in the first place. I'd obviously rate it even higher if Luke Mably's character, White, had been even more like me.

I recommend that you all take a small break from watching horror movies and give "Exam" a try. It's probably not something you'd want to buy or watch more than once, but it's certainly worth renting or adding to your Netflix queue.