A quick tally of the films I've been watching recently

As you know, I have the attention span of a gnat so I often give up on horror movies for a while and drift around other parts of the internet looking for entertainment. Sometimes I find it, sometimes I don't, but this time I got caught up with watching a lot of older "classic" movies which I had to work my way through before coming back to the horror genre.

I intended February to be all about the real women in horror movies from every era, but I got bored with writing about them. What's the point when you can look all that stuff up on the IMDb and Wikipedia anyway? Like so many bloggers, I don't really add anything new except rehashes of the same old information (and misinformation occasionally).

Thus, I started "reading around the subject" or, in this case, "watching around the subject" (because I don't read and I'm ignorant, yo). It all started with tracking down a documentary series on YouTube called "Hollywood: A Celebration of the American Silent Film" which I didn't even know existed back in the day.



It took a couple of days to finish, but I thoroughly enjoyed this series (only two parts about war films were missing which didn't interest me anyway). I learnt lots from it and was going to write something against modern "indie horror films" using things from the earlier episodes as examples, but I couldn't be bothered. You all know that I hate "hobby horror" handycam movies so there's no point in flogging a dead horse anymore. Nobody but the very retarded has bought any of those films for the last two or three years anyway. Let's face it, they were never in the same league as the Hollywood pioneers unless you include "stag" films.

Once I'd finished the series, I got the urge to watch a lot more old movies so I just started randomly choosing films which I'd never watched all the way through before. My list included old Laurel and Hardy comedies (the only comedies I can stand), "Betty Boop" and "Tom and Jerry" cartoons, "Sunset Boulevard" (1950), "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane" (1962), "Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte" (1964), "Mommie Dearest" (1981), "Chaplin" (1992), "Gods and Monsters" (1998), and "The Notorious Bettie Page" (2005). For some reason, I also ended up watching "Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Mork & Mindy" (2005) which had a great impersonation of Robin Williams in it. When I have nothing better to watch, I quite like biopics depending on who the subject is or who is playing them. I draw the line at Kurt Russell as Elvis though. Puh-lease.

I had a few other films lined up to watch which I ended up switching off because I got bored with them. In particular, "The Wild Bunch" (1969) was supposed to be really good, but I didn't find it very violent and gave up on it after the shootout at the start. One of the top 100 films ever made? Really? Nope, not for me. I'll probably never try to watch "Citizen Kane" (1941) or "The Third Man" (1949) ever again either. Jesus wept! I'd rather watch the banana boat song from "Beetlejuice" 20 times in a row than that shit. Actually, no, I wouldn't. I'd prefer to be struck blind and deaf for a week than have to endure that load of bollocks!

In my "To Watch" list, I still have "It Happened One Night" (1934), "Sullivan's Travels" (1941), "Cabaret" (1972), and "Hollywoodland" (2006). I have no idea about the contents of any of them other than "Cabaret" which I know is a musical and may end up getting snapped in half along with "Chicago" (2002) if I ever watch either.

I'm in the mood for a gritty yet mainstream drama full of taboo subjects, but there's just nothing out there that I haven't seen. Any suggestions are welcomed although I don't do comedies or westerns. Feel free to leave something good as a comment.

Why I want to hate Mark Gatiss but can't.

For the last two years I've been hearing about Mark Gatiss from British horror fans who have been singing his praises as if he's the new "ace face" of horror. Having been very disappointed by "Crooked House" (2008), I was pretty much determined to hate the writer/actor responsible for that awfulness for all eternity.

I got the impression that Mark Gatiss was yet another of these so-called "horror experts" who the BBC likes to wheel onto every show that mentions the genre. In the '80s, we had the real big names of horror such as Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Donald Pleasence, and Clive Barker doing the chat show rounds, but something went horribly wrong in the '90s. When the BBC (and others) started forcing the John McCririck lookalike Kim Newman onto an unsuspecting public, it was time to either stop watching horror documentaries or kick the TV screen in to save yourself from dying by tweed suit overload and grinnygog-itis.

I don't really know where Kim Newman came from or how he ended up as the worst example of hairy-faced, British horror convention nerds. All I can say is that I bought his "Anno Dracula" novel and threw it away in disgust after only reading 4 pages. Horror fan or not, something about Kim Newman creeps me out and not in a good way. I couldn't concentrate on a single thing he said in interviews because I just wanted to punch the smug, self-satisfied smile right off his face. No, more than that, I wanted to see him get a damn good kicking live on TV.

Thus, I assumed that the BBC's "A History of Horror with Mark Gatiss" was going to more of the same superficial crap presented by another constantly grinning weirdie-beardie who I wouldn't like. I was wrong.

Although I can't say that Mark Gatiss has quite the same taste in movies as me, he comes across as a genuine fan and has the good sense to add the following disclaimer over a shot of his horror DVD collection:

"Because horror is such a personal passion of mine, this series will be unashamedly selective. I'm going to build my account around my favourite films and periods."

I can't argue with that at all. It's exactly what I do on my blog, and it's what you should be doing on yours. While there are universals which objectively qualify whether one movie is good and another is bad, horror is mostly a very subjective experience.

As a documentary, there are some parts of "A History of Horror" which are weaker than others, no new information for the hardcore horror fan, but enough personally British stuff to allow those of us of the same age as Mark Gatiss to reminisce alongside him. It may not be the final say in horror documentaries, but it's more than just a primer for the casual movie-goer.

I too watched the same Hammer, Amicus and Universal horror movies on TV as Mark Gatiss did, I bought the same books and magazines, and I've met nearly all the same people at various conventions whom he interviewed. I haven't met John Carpenter, but I don't really want to. The documentary is Mark Gatiss' personal journey through great horror and shouldn't be seen as something shared by every horror aficionado. We all have different tastes and levels of interest within the genre. There are some younger horror fans who would have no idea who any of the stars he spoke to even are.

And so I sat through the three episodes of "A History of Horror" not really learning anything but still enjoying Mark Gatiss' obvious love of the genre. Owing to his sexuality, there are a couple of older movies which mean more to Mark Gatiss than they do to me, but he doesn't make a big deal out of them for that reason. For instance, he doesn't shove the gay stuff from "The Bride of Frankenstein" down everyone's throats, and I'm not even going to add the obligatory cheap joke about "even if he wants to" because he doesn't seem like that kind of chap at all. He sometimes dwells too long on what interests him rather than on why it interests him, but hopefully we already share the unspoken appreciation.

Mark Gatiss does repeatedly emphasise that he's from the North of England which is slightly alienating for a Southerner. Mark Gatiss doesn't have a broad Manchester accent so, if he hadn't said anything, I doubt that I would even have noticed where he came from. It still conjures up an image of no-nonsense, flat cap-wearing and whippet-walking Northerners who must have made him feel like quite an outsider at times. Give or take the regional differences, surely every horror fan feels a little bit different to the "normal" people though, don't they?

Mark Gatiss doesn't push the question of what it means to be a horror fan. It might have been more interesting if he had done, but then it would have been a documentary all about him rather than the movies he enjoys. I have to give him credit for not making everything Mark Gatiss-centric or playing the attention whore except when it was absolutely necessary. "A History of Horror" is no "Look at me, I'm Mark Gatiss!" vehicle.

Can you imagine Kim Newman in his attention-grabbing three-piece suits doing the same thing? Exactly. It would have caused broken TV screens across the country and a torch-bearing lynch mob descending into his parent's basement.

Mark Gatiss succeeded where so many horror documentary makers failed. He made his journey personal without it being about him. He made "A History of Horror" something to share rather than reflect one individual's tastes.

After "A History of Horror", I also watched the follow-up, "Horror Europa", which is more of the same only less so. "Horror Europa" is a continuation rather than a separate documentary which fills in a few more details about European horror in the same golden ages as were mentioned before. Again, Mark Gatiss is merely the amiable strand who ties the interviews together, but he has the balance right.

I didn't expect to like Mark Gatiss. I thought that I'd either be jealous of his success or annoyed by the ramblings of another "no-talent-know-all". Apart from "Crooked House", I don't actually remember seeing him in anything else before these documentaries. I'm not a comedy fan or Sherlock Holmes buff (outside of Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce) so no great surprise there. I'm a bit of a purist, so if it's not horror, I probably haven't seen it.

I have no idea what Mark Gatiss is like as a actor or a person, but as a presenter, he's found his niche. If there is anyone worthy to represent British horror at the present time, it's definitely Mark Gatiss.

Patrick Macnee's Ghost Stories (1997)

I just watched "Vol. 4: Hollywood Ghosts" on the new (and free) SnagFilms channel on Roku but, obviously, this series is all over YouTube so I assume that it must have lapsed into the Public Domain at some point.

I've seen the boxset of what I believe is the full series on sale in various supermarkets before now but never had much interest in it. I saw most of the episodes on Channel Four many years ago and thought they were quite superficial.

The "Hollywood Ghosts" episode seems to be the exception. I learned lots of things from it which I never knew before and I've now got quite interested in the deaths of Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Short. I'm familiar with their names but I never really knew any of the details about their deaths before and this documentary had me Googling away like crazy.

There's another "Hollywood Ghost Stories" (1986) documentary available but introduced by John Carradine instead. I was actually hoping that SnagFilms had this much better documentary available too as I remember having it on VHS back in England and I thought it was really good. Unfortunately, they didn't. I still remember some of it though especially Elke Sommer's story. It was very scary stuff.

Although I don't actually believe in ghosts, at least not in the same way that most other people who believe in ghosts do, I always enjoy a good ghost story especially when it's supposed to be true. I'm not sure how much of that is because I'm a horror film fan or whether it's a more primal response that's in all of us.

I've encountered a few horror fans online who hate supernatural movies and I can't understand that at all. I can accept anyone hating those ridiculously fake reality TV shows about hauntings, especially the most famous of them, but to dismiss an entire section of your favourite genre strikes me as completely illogical. I don't particularly like the majority of Asian ghost films but I'll still watch them.

Anyway, if you are looking for something spooky to watch amidst all the thunder and lightning of the summer storms tonight, these documentaries should sort you out.

Horror documentaries on Netflix

I've been pretty quiet on Blogger for the last week owing to the fact that I've become addicted to watching all the horror documentaries on Netflix. The saying, "When he's quiet, he's up to something", has proved itself to be correct since I've learned all sorts of things which I didn't know before.

Here's a quick recap of everything I've found so far and which I recommend that you all check out for yourselves.


1. Zombie Girl: The Movie (2009)



Youth and inexperience were no deterrents to 12-year-old Emily Hagins when she set out to make her first full-length feature, the zombie flick Pathogen. This 2008 documentary chronicles her two-year endeavor from start to finish. With cameras focused on Emily and Mom - who acts as agent, crew, producer and No. 1 fan - the film illuminates indie moviemaking challenges and the wonder of being a plucky adolescent to whom anything seems possible.

Although the documentary wasn't put together very well and had the horrid Harry Knowles appearing in it, I quite enjoyed watching the enthusiasm which went into making yet another appalling handycam zombie film. This time the filmmaker had an excuse though - she's only 12 years old! It's a pity that you don't get to see the actual zombie film that she makes, but I have a feeling that it turned out so bad that you probably wouldn't want to anyway. I don't like amateur films no matter how much dedication went into making them (and never come away from them feeling anything but contempt), but if a kid wants to make something like this to put on YouTube then I can't fault her for her hobby. She might even end up working on a real movie one day unlike all the other sad acts who are old enough to know better and have less than half the ability.


2. 100 Years of Horror (1996)

Christopher Lee hosts this chilling anthology of clips with commentary from stars such as Robert De Niro and Charlton Heston, assessing some of the most memorable - and horrific - scenes in cinema history. This collection rounds up more than 10,000 monstrous moments featuring scream queens, maniacs, demons, sorcerers, witchcraft, the walking dead, Frankenstein and many more.

Fascinating stuff but a bit repetitive and not something which you can (or should) watch in one go. Some of it is a bit dry and superficial but the biggest problem is that most of the clips come from B and Z grade movies which you wouldn't want in your collection anyway. I learnt a few things from it but I'm sure that anyone who was just getting into the genre would enjoy it a lot more especially if they don't know very much about the old guys and classic horror. If you never really got into the Universal monsters or Hammer then there are worse ways to educate yourself.


3. His Name Was Jason (2009)



Exploring the legacy of a villain who's fueled a franchise for nearly 30 years and is on a first-name basis with horror fans everywhere, this documentary pays tribute to Jason Voorhees, the hockey-masked star character of the Friday the 13th films. Hosted by special effects legend Tom Savini, the film includes movie clips, behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with actors, filmmakers and devotees.

Quite a good documentary in places but flawed by being rushed through and containing far too many plugs for the awful remake. There isn't any new information for true fans of the "Friday the 13th" movies (especially for those who watch all the "special features" on the DVDs), but it still makes a good introduction for anyone who doesn't know too much about either "Friday the 13th" or slashers in general. I watched this when it first came out and was quite disappointed, but, with hindsight, it's not really as bad as I first thought.


4. The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made (2004)

An entertaining look at some of the truly terrible moments in film history. This documentary consists of clips from what many believe to be some of the worst movies ever to make it - or not make it - into theaters. Laugh through scenes from "Howard the Duck," "Plan Nine from Outer Space," "Attack of the Crab Monsters" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," as well as many others. This really is the best of the worst!

Only an hour long but it feels like a lot longer owing to the subject matter. As amusing as it all tries to be, I don't agree with some of the choices and could easily replace them with different titles. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you try to be make a list based on the most popular choices without really thinking about them too much. There are no real surprises here and, if you own a lot of Mill Creek packs, you know most of these films and how awful they are already.


5. Nightmares in Red, White and Blue (2009)



Horror and sci-fi veteran Lance Henriksen (Alien) narrates this fascinating look at the history of the American horror film, examining the earliest monster movies of the silent era up to the scariest modern-day masterpieces. Highlights include interviews with genre masters Roger Corman, John Carpenter and George A. Romero, plus clips from classic films like The Exorcist, Night of the Living Dead and Rosemary's Baby.

This documentary came across more as a thesis about the relationship between horror films and politics than a bog-standard retrospective. As much as I think that the more erudite horror fan would get a kick out of it, I found it to be a little bit too preachy and smug at times and, of course, I don't entirely agree with how neatly they tried to tie it all together. All movies provide some social commentary just by reflecting the time that they are made in, but I felt that subtle details were being stressed too far just to fit into the pattern. You could do exactly the same thing (and come up with the same results) by comparing horror movies with ancient Greek drama so there's nothing you haven't already thought about before here even if it is presented well.


6. Starz Inside: Bloodsucking Cinema (2007)

The undead come out to play in this spine-tingling documentary about the history of vampire movies that originally aired as a Starz Inside special. Highlights include clips from genre classics such as Dracula, Interview with the Vampire, The Lost Boys and Blade, plus commentary from actors Corey Haim and Cheech Marin, directors John Carpenter, John Landis and Joel Schumacher and film critic Leonard Maltin.

Although not as good as the later "Starz Inside" documentaries and re-covering a lot of ground from the "100 Years of Horror" series, I quite enjoyed this though I wish that they'd chosen better vampire movies to talk about. It was more surprising because of the famous vampire movies which were ignored rather than the ones which were included. There was no mention of "Daughters of Darkness", "The Hunger" or even "Near Dark", which was absolutely shameful.


I've also watched a few non-horror documentaries (though it depends on your definition of horror!) including "Confessions of a Superhero" (2007), "Starz Inside: The Face Is Familiar" (2009), "Starz Inside: Unforgettably Evil" (2009), "The Cats of Mirikitani" (2006), "The End: British Gangsters" (2008) and "Marwencol" (2010). Most of these were either moving or disturbing (or both), and I highly recommend them for when you just aren't in the mood to watch yet another horror movie.