Mum & Dad (2008)

"Mum and Dad, and their 'adopted' children, Birdie & Elbie, work at the airport. The family live off whatever they scavenge from cargo holds, offices and hotels - including a steady stream of transient workers who populate the airport's soulless hub. When Lena, a young Polish office cleaner, is befriended by Birdie, she gets drawn into a nightmarish world of torture, murder and perversity. Imprisoned in a suburban House of Horrors and designated a 'Mummy's Girl', Lena's only options appear to be to become part of the family - and join them in their insanity - or die."

I first watched "Mum & Dad" over two years ago when my local Hollywood Video still existed. Not only was I extremely happy to find a fairly new British horror movie, but I was quite surprised that they even had it. Just before they closed down, I went back and bought myself a copy of "Mum & Dad", and I love it so much that I've watched it over 20 times since.

I'm going to keep this review as spoiler free as I can because you absolutely have to see "Mum & Dad" for yourself. I haven't had my heart pounding so hard from the tension in a horror film ever before, so I'm sure that you will enjoy it too.

Basically, it's a modernised, almost "torture porn" version of "Girly" (1970) mixed with an unhealthy number of nods to the crimes committed by Fred and Rosemary West. At no point during any interviews about this movie, or anywhere on the DVD commentary, did writer/director Steven Sheil admit to using any specific real life murderers as his inspiration, but anyone British will pick up on it immediately. American audiences will notice a lot of similarities to "The People Under the Stairs" (1991) and certain scenes from "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" (1974). Like all horror movies, it's derivative, but "Mum & Dad" has a lot of original touches too so you can't really hold any reworking of existing genre themes against it.

It's amazing that something with such incredible production values was made for as little as £100,000. When I hear people crowing about how successful James Wan's "Insidious" was compared to its budget, it makes me laugh that "Insidious" cost over five times the amount of "Mum & Dad" and wasn't even half as intense. A lot of this has to do with where most of the funding came from. To qualify for a grant from the U.K. National Lottery, you simply have to have something so impressive that it's worth investing in.

As I said, I'm not going to give any spoilers apart from any that are unavoidable through praising this film. Perry Benson as "Dad" is cast completely against type, but it still works. Dido Miles as "Mum" is so psychotically evil that she is also completely different from anything I've seen her in before. I am still blown away by how good these recognisable TV faces are in such a demented horror film. Each of the main characters are memorable in their own way, and that doesn't happen very often. Toby Alexander as the mute "Elbie" doesn't even have a single line of dialogue yet conveys so much emotion with just his expressions. You will probably hate "Birdie", I know I did at first, though that's the point. Ainsley Howard nails her role too.

The acting and character development is just fantastic and way ahead of anything you'd usually find in such a low-budget independent horror movie. The nastiness of the dysfunctional family is so believable that it comes as quite a surprise when you watch the special features on the DVD and discover how nice (and funny) all the actors are in real life. It's like chalk and cheese and that's the sign of real actors. You can never go back to watching amateur handycam dreck after seeing something like this, although I'd advise you to never get involved with any of that crap to begin with.

Of course, the character who stands out the most for me is Lena. I had never really heard of Olga Fedori before though I remember her vaguely from a few episodes of "Eastenders". A quick check of her IMDb profile reveals that she's Ukrainian rather than Polish and is a Harvard Graduate. I think she's lovely and I felt for her character all through the film. The stuff Lena goes through is absolutely awful yet she remains one of the strongest female characters that I've ever seen in a horror movie. She has a lot of inner strength and really doesn't make any of the clichéd mistakes which other girls do and that is, of course, another credit to Steven Sheil's writing.

The practical effects are all disgustingly realistic although one gruesome scene near the end could be argued to be little bit too far-fetched due to their inclusion. You'll know exactly what I'm referring to when you see it but, the more I think about it, the more I can see how it could work. I am, of course, talking about a certain "Christmas decoration", so feel free to discuss it in the comments section below.

The make-up, costumes, set dressing, camerawork and, well, just about everything really is all first class, so I have definitely included this in my Video Vault. "Mum & Dad" is something I can bring out just to show my American friends exactly how sick and twisted us Brits really are. I highly recommend this film!

Girly (1970)

(AKA Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny & Girly)



"A wealthy, fatherless British clan kidnaps bums and hippies and forces them to participate in an elaborate role-playing game in which they are the perfect family; those who refuse or attempt escape are ritualistically murdered."

I found this little gem by Freddie Francis on Netflix ages ago but finally got around to watching it this weekend inbetween "Chloe" and "9th Company" (both of which I also recommend). I'll be honest with you, I'd never even heard of "Girly" or its star, Vanessa Howard, before which probably has more to do with never seeing a VHS tape or DVD of it available than anything else. I don't think it was very heavily promoted when it came out, and I was a long way from being a viable human being back then anyway.

Having now watched it a couple of times over, I can see where a lot of more recent movies got their ideas from albeit in the form of various tropes, conventions and clichés. Certainly, "Mum & Dad" (2008) borrowed heavily from the plot of "Girly" and did it so much that I'm glad that I haven't actually written a review of it yet which would have made me look like a complete idiot. I always thought that "Mum & Dad" was based on such mass murderers as Fred and Rosemary West, but I can now prove myself completely wrong. It's actually fun when something like that happens.

Anyway, "Girly" is basically about a "family" of absolute nutters who keep the roleplay going by sending out the "children" to bring back "new friends" who they can add to the mix.

You could also see "Girly" as a forerunner of Rob Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects" (2005) if you wanted to, but as I mentioned, the trope of a nutty killer family has been used ad nauseum in horror films. There are far too many similarities between Girly and Baby though for you not to notice. I honestly don't know if this has any more sinister allusions to '60s cults like "The Manson Family" or not, but I suspect that subject matter to have been influential at the time "Girly" was made. Without asking Freddie Francis himself, which obviously is impossible now, I don't think we'll ever know for sure.

Other big influences on "Girly" appear to be TV series like "The Prisoner" and "The Avengers", plus a ton of mod culture. It also has that Hammer/Amicus feel to it which is understandable considering once again who the director was, but it goes way offbeat into almost "A Clockwork Orange" craziness at times. The only things which prevent it from being a classic are that it really doesn't have any moral fable or message to it.

Looking back through that last paragraph makes it sound like "Girly" wasn't very original so I just need to redress the balance by stating that, as far as I know at this point in time, "Girly" was one of the most original films that I've seen. The only film that I think even comes close to this is "Twisted Nerve" (1968) starring Hayley Mills and Hywel Bennett and, possibly, "Fright" (1971). There are in fact dozens of British horror movies from around this time period which I've never seen reworked into anything better although most of them are quite stagey and adapted from theatre productions. Sometimes it makes me want to restart my blog over and concentrate on that part of the genre, but I'd probably get bored with it long before I even managed to acquire all the films I wanted to watch in the first place.

You can probably tell already that I liked "Girly" a lot, and not just because Vanessa Howard ticked all the boxes for 1970s physical perfection. The character of Girly carries the film which is presumably why the original title was shortened. You also have to give the rest of the cast credit for doing all this so straightfaced especially Michael Bryant as "New Friend" who went on to win numerous acting awards and a CBE for his services to drama. When you combine such classy actors together with a top director then you are guaranteed a winner no matter how preposterous the script may be.

Yes, the story will really strain your willing suspension of disbelief. If you've ever seen Dennis Potter's "Blue Remembered Hills" (1979) then you'll be forgiven in the first ten minutes for wanting to switch "Girly" off straight away. I was quite embarrassed as a Brit to be watching this until it quickly became obvious that it wasn't going in the same direction as a Dennis Potter story would although, again, I could call up yet another one of his more famous works which has one specific moment which I could make much more of than I should especially in relation to "Girly". The film I'm talking about is "Brimstone and Treacle", but to say any more would give away a major spoiler and probably cause a whole wave of arguments. "Girly" is contrarily quite a feminist movie, but I'll leave that subject matter alone for all the essay writers to worry about.

Obviously "Girly" isn't a perfect film. There are massive plot holes, unexplainable actions and non-actions which you just accept because it's a film and you're allowing it to entertain you. As far as a horror film goes, "Girly" has very few onscreen gory moments, tension or scares, but it's all done in such a gleefully sadistic way that it's definitely not a comedy. I don't know quite how to categorise it at all except as demented and disturbing but with a sick sense of humour underlying it.

I'm quite happy to recommend "Girly" to anyone who likes crazy British films from the '70s. If you are into modern hardcore grisliness then I suggest you go for "Mum & Dad" instead. Either way, if you watch one then you should definitely check out the other to see how the same ideas and motifs can be reinterpreted for different generations.

A Perfect Getaway (2009)

"Two pairs of lovers on a Hawaiian vacation discover that psychopaths are stalking and murdering tourists on the islands."

Winter has finally ended, the snow has all gone and, full of the joys of Spring, I watched "A Perfect Getaway" for the first time last night. I meant to watch it when it was released a couple of years ago but just never got round to it. I'm glad that I waited though because the director's cut is far superior to the theatrical version which is also on the same DVD.

The only unfortunate thing about "A Perfect Getaway" is that I can hardly tell you anything about it without spoiling it for you. Such is the nature of thrillers with twist endings. You really need to watch it cold and without reading any reviews whatsoever.

What I can reveal to you is that it had a completely unpredictable plot. I didn't see the twist coming at all especially as I was so caught up with seeing Milla Jovovich actually acting for once rather than just dressing up and looking moody like she does in the "Resident Evil" movies.

"A Perfect Getaway" also had great cinematography which really made me feel like I was on holiday in Hawaii even though a lot of it wasn't actually filmed there. It seems that it was mostly filmed in Puerto Rico but I don't care because the scenery was fantastic. One scene in particular really was like the garden of Eden should you ever try to imagine it even if Kiele Sanchez (from "The Glades") didn't get quite nude enough to be Eve.

Everyone involved was (for lack of a better word) perfect in their roles though many were cast against type, Steve Zahn and Timothy Olyphant in particular. The characterisation was good, the dialogue was witty and the script was very clever.

David Twohy has always been one of my favourite writers/directors and again he delivered the goods. Ok, so his "Chronicles of Riddick" may not be exactly brilliant and I got a bit bored with "The Arrival", but that's only because I'm a horror fan and not so much into sci-fi. I still watched them.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed everything about "A Perfect Getaway". I don't care what the haters on the IMDb say about it. Obviously there were a few moments which were derivative and homaged other films, but, as far as I'm concerned, it was outstanding!