The Bloody Oscars 2013

Since the real Academy Awards were won by a load of boring crap which nobody with a brain has any interest in watching, once again I've created my own alternative list of winners.

Unfortunately, we've had a pretty lacklustre selection of horror films over the last year (and especially in recent months) so take the following with a huge pinch of salt. I couldn't even find enough good ones to fill all the categories.


BEST PICTURE

The Awakening


BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Pat Healy - The Innkeepers


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Johnny Lewis - Lovely Molly


BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Gretchen Lodge - Lovely Molly


BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Ashley Greene - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2


BEST ART DIRECTION

Nicki McCallum - The Awakening


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Eduard Grau - The Awakening


BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Daniela Matus - Perras


BEST DIRECTING

Guillermo Ríos - Perras


BEST FILM EDITING

Juan Bernardo Sánchez Mejía - Perras


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Perras


BEST MAKEUP

Daniel Phillips - The Awakening


BEST MUSIC

Alison Wright - The Awakening


BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Andrew White - Lovely Molly


BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Diego Vazquez Lozano - Perras


BEST WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

Melissa Rosenberg - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2


BEST WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

Guillermo Ríos - Perras


Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.

The Bloody Oscars 2011

Well done to Rick Baker and Dave Elsey for the make-up effects in "The Wolfman" but who even cares about the Oscars anyway?

I think it's about time that there was an official Academy Awards ceremony for nothing but horror movies. After all, it's not as if any of us would watch such boring crap as "The King's Speech", is it?

Until such time as the dinosaurs behind this sycophantic and self-congratulatory non-representation of what people really want to watch realise that we aren't impressed by their worthless little gold man, I now announce the first ever unofficial "Bloody Oscar" awards for 2011.


BEST PICTURE

A Serbian Film


BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Dieter Laser - The Human Centipede


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

John Brumpton - The Loved Ones


BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Robin McLeavy - The Loved Ones


BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Katarina Zutic - A Serbian Film


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

A Serbian Film (because nobody over the age of 8 should be watching cartoons!)


BEST ART DIRECTION

Peter Grundy - Saw 3D


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Nemanja Jovanov - A Serbian Film


BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Xanthe Heubel - The Loved Ones


BEST DIRECTING

Sean Byrne - The Loved Ones


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

A Serbian Film


BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Paranormal Activity 2


BEST FILM EDITING

Andy Canny - The Loved Ones


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

A Serbian Film


BEST MAKEUP

Erik Hillenbrink - A Serbian Film


BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)

Sky Wikluh - A Serbian Film


BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)

Love Hurts by Nan Vernon - The Loved Ones


BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)

A Serbian Film


BEST SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)

The Human Centipede


BEST SOUND EDITING

Nikola Zivkovic - A Serbian Film


BEST SOUND MIXING

Aleksandar Perisic - A Serbian Film


BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Miroslav Lakobrija - A Serbian Film


BEST WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

Melissa Rosenberg - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse


BEST WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

Aleksandar Radivojevic and Srdjan Spasojevic - A Serbian Film


Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.