The Bloody Oscars 2013

Since the real Academy Awards were won by a load of boring crap which nobody with a brain has any interest in watching, once again I've created my own alternative list of winners.

Unfortunately, we've had a pretty lacklustre selection of horror films over the last year (and especially in recent months) so take the following with a huge pinch of salt. I couldn't even find enough good ones to fill all the categories.


BEST PICTURE

The Awakening


BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Pat Healy - The Innkeepers


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Johnny Lewis - Lovely Molly


BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Gretchen Lodge - Lovely Molly


BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Ashley Greene - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2


BEST ART DIRECTION

Nicki McCallum - The Awakening


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Eduard Grau - The Awakening


BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Daniela Matus - Perras


BEST DIRECTING

Guillermo Ríos - Perras


BEST FILM EDITING

Juan Bernardo Sánchez Mejía - Perras


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Perras


BEST MAKEUP

Daniel Phillips - The Awakening


BEST MUSIC

Alison Wright - The Awakening


BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Andrew White - Lovely Molly


BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Diego Vazquez Lozano - Perras


BEST WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

Melissa Rosenberg - The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2


BEST WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

Guillermo Ríos - Perras


Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.

I got the Liebster Blog Award again!

It seems that this "award" is going round and round in circles now with several people getting it half a dozen times or more.

This time, even though I have way over 100 followers and shouldn't be eligible for it at all (according to the original rules), I received it from Halloween Overkill. Thank you, but I'm not passing it on again.

I will, however, answer the questions which came with it because that's the fun bit. I'll also change the spelling back to (British) English so I don't feel like a naughty five year old who can't spell. Yes, that extra "u" and some apostrophes make all the difference!

1. What is your favourite Hallowe'en tradition/memory?
I honestly haven't got one. We don't celebrate Hallowe'en in Britain (even though we invented it) and I haven't seen much of it where I am in America either. Possibly, it's buying a load of crap from Dollar Tree and watching a marathon of horror movies on AMC each year.

2. Halloween III - terrible or underrated?
Terrible but still the best of a bad lot.

3. Your favourite guilty pleasure film?
"Clueless" (1995). I just love empty-headed blondes.

4. If you could meet any one horror icon dead or alive, who would it be?
I've already met all of the ones I wanted to so this is really hard. I can't even think of a dead one who I ever cared about that much either. The girl who played Lola in "The Loved Ones" maybe since she's still alive.

5. What is your favourite holiday other than Hallowe'en (assuming it is your fave, it is right?)
Easter. I get chocolate eggs and Lindt bunnies. No, Hallowe'en isn't my favourite holiday, and it isn't actually a holiday.

6. What is your favourite TV show of all time?
"Blakes [sic] 7" - It was a science-fiction adventure show back in the late '70s. Yes, I know they spelled it wrong and it should have been "Blake's 7".

7. Is there a single horror movie or scene you cannot stomach to watch, what is it?
"Shaun of the Dead" (2004). I honestly think I would kick the TV screen in if that was put on in front of me even if it wasn't my TV. I hate that film, loathe the sight of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, and despise everything to do with it.

8. What is more exciting, a horrible thunderstorm or an insane snowstorm?
A "horrible thunderstorm" even though I don't find any thunderstorm all that horrible. I love thunderstorms.

9. Who is your favourite fictional horror icon?
Dracula. That was easy.

10. What is your favourite Hallowe'en treat?
So many Hallowe'en questions... getting bored now. Doner kebabs.

11. You can only watch one Hallowe'en special/movie this year, what do you choose?
"Busty Cops: Protect and Serve!" (2009)

Liebster Blog Award

Thanks to everyone over at Horror Shock Lollipop, I now have the Liebster Blog Award to go with all the others.

Yeah, I just love getting awards. Who doesn't?

As you probably know, this is a kind of banner exchange/blogger meme thing rather than a real award for my quite exceptional talents or badly written movie reviews, but I decided to play along anyway.

Apparently, there are rules for this:

The Rules
Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
Answer the questions the tagger has set for you.
Create 11 questions for the people you have tagged to answer.
Choose 11 people and link them in your post.
Go to their page and tell them.
No tag backs.

So, without further ado, here we go...


Each person must post 11 things about themselves

1. I'm British.
2. I have two cats.
3. I drink a lot of Monster energy drinks.
4. I watch A LOT of horror movies.
5. I collect DVDs.
6. I used to be a website developer.
7. I'm not famous in any way.
8. I'm classically educated.
9. I don't eat enough fish.
10. I'm in love with a Russian popstar.
11. I write blogs about nearly all of the above.


Answer the questions the tagger has set for you

1. What's the best horror-themed or spooky attraction you've been to?
The ghost train at the local fairground back in England when I was six years old. I soiled myself.

2. If you had to come up with a new type of monster, what would it be and what would you call it?
Half-elephant, half-tiger... I would call it anything it damned well wanted me to.

3. What's the worst film you've ever seen (any genre)?
Oh, any genre? "The African Queen" (1951) because I can't remember the names of those Japanese spaceman movies in the Mill Creek Entertainment 250 Horror Collection.

4. Best book you've read (any genre)?
"The Hand-Reared Boy" by Brian W. Aldiss.

5. If you could create a theme park ride, what would it be?
Okay, you have two cars facing each other at the end of a long track. They accelerate towards each other and it seems like one will smash into the other. At the last second, a hot chick pushing a pram full of kittens crosses in front of them and they stop immediately. I'd call it the "Whiplash".

6. Would you rather have a zombie attack or an alien attack?
I'd rather have a curry, but I'll go with aliens. There are enough computer viruses around and Jeff Goldblum is still alive, isn't he?

7. What's the food that scares you the most?
Lobster. Seriously, too many legs and claws.

8. What music do you love / hate?
I love electro-pop music. I hate heavy metal.

9. Would you rather live underground, in the sea, or in space?
Underground like a Womble.

10. Spiders: Creepy or cute?
Creepy and disgusting. Kill them with fire!

11. If you could have any "super power" you wanted, what would it be?
Invisibility. I would abuse that power in every way that you could possibly imagine too.


Create 11 questions for the people you have tagged to answer

1. If you were stranded on a desert island, which three horror movie hotties would you want with you?
2. Chocolate muffins or chocolate cupcakes?
3. What kind of computer do you use?
4. If you could be famous for one thing, what would it be?
5. How many M&Ms can you get into your mouth all in one go?
6. Can you lick your own elbow?
7. Which actor or actress do you hate the sight of the most?
8. Have you ever woken up naked in a field?
9. Hello Kitty or Pokemon?
10. Oysters marinated in cat urine. Eat or die?
11. What's the scariest movie you have ever seen?


Choose 11 people and link them in your post

Dai Green
William Pattison
Sexta-feira
Grimm
Stabford Deathrage
Autumnforest
Jenny
Patrick Tillett
Mandy
Kweeny Todd
Laura


Go to their page and tell them

Doing it now.

Another blog award

Today I received this blog award from Emma at "Little Gothic Horrors" although it was not for "Dr Blood's Video Vault". I've got lots of those already.

The award has been given to my other blog - "The Horror Cats" - which some of you are more familiar with than others.

Just like all the other awards which are getting passed around, it comes with a few obligations which I will now try to fulfil.


iDig Your Blog Award Protocol:

1. Gratefully accept this award.

Thank you, me so grateful, me love you longtime. :)

2. Link to the person you received it from.

http://littlegothichorrors.blogspot.com. Done (again).

3. Post 3 interesting facts about yourself.

• I recently attended a culinary arts program and graduated as "valedictorian" of my class so, among many other things, I am now also a fully trained chef and won't poison myself with my own cooking.
• For many years I worked as a web developer when it was still quite glamorous and well paid to do so. I no longer have the patience with all that coding which is why I use Blogger.
• "I. Love. Cats. I just love cats, I love every kind of cat, I really love cats and I just want to hug all of them. It's crazy. I think about how many don't have a home and how I should have them and how cute they are and their ears and the whiskers and the nose. I just love them and I want them and I want them in a basket and with little bow ties. I want them to be on a rainbow and just in my bed. And I just want a house full of them and for us to just roll around." :)

4. Pass this award around to at least 5 blogs you dig.

Since I already mentioned a load of them when I got my previous award, I'll choose some different ones this time just to be fair.

• Thrill Fiction - http://thrillfiction2009.blogspot.com
• Living. Dead. Girl. - http://coffycup75.blogspot.com
• Diary of an Indygrrrl - http://indygrrrl.blogspot.com
• MsMariah's Space Blog-yssey - http://www.msmariah.com
• Real Queen of Horror - http://www.realqueenofhorror.com
• The Horror Hotel - http://thehorrorhotel.blogspot.com
• this girl digs horror - http://thisgirldigshorror.blogspot.com

5. Notify them.

I just have. :)


My minions are now happy. >^..^<

Another Versatile Blogger Award

Thanks to Nomar Knight of "Knight Chills", I have now received "The Versatile Blogger Award" for the third time.

The award comes with a few rules which I've never bothered with before but, since I haven't written anything for a week, I might as well do this properly.

The Rules
1. Thank and link to the person who nominated you.
2. Share 7 random facts about yourself.
3. Pass the award on to 5 new-found blogging buddies.
4. Contact the winners to congratulate them.

7 random facts about me
1. I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien, I'm an Englishman in New York. :)
2. I don't drink coffee and even the smell of it makes me want to throw up.
3. I have a collection of Audrey Hepburn films, books, and dolls.
4. I'm a big fan of Ubuntu Linux and use it on every computer that I own.
5. I hated maths at school and have never used any of it since.
6. I am addicted to Monster energy drinks.
7. I don't have an iPhone and my iPods are cheap fakes.

My 5 nominations for the Versatile Blogger Award
1. Zombie of "Zombies Everywhere" - http://zombehseverywhereman.blogspot.com.
2. Slowdeath77 of "Horror Smorgasbord" - http://horrorsmorgasbord.blogspot.com.
3. Johnny Zombie of "Fly Paper Dungeon" - http://flypaperdungeon.blogspot.com.
4. LJ of "A Racing Mind" - http://lj-30sandcounting.blogspot.com.
5. Jenny Krueger of "Memoirs of a Scream Queen" - http://memoirsofascreamqueen.blogspot.com.

If you got left out, don't worry. I'm sure that I'll get this award again as the meme continues to go around and you'll get a mention eventually.

By the way, I haven't been blogging for a week due to my Netflix addiction. I've been catching up on loads of TV shows while trying unsuccessfully to install any kind of working Linux on my ancient Acer TravelMate 630 laptop. I haven't had time to watch any horror movies at all.

The Bloody Oscars 2011

Well done to Rick Baker and Dave Elsey for the make-up effects in "The Wolfman" but who even cares about the Oscars anyway?

I think it's about time that there was an official Academy Awards ceremony for nothing but horror movies. After all, it's not as if any of us would watch such boring crap as "The King's Speech", is it?

Until such time as the dinosaurs behind this sycophantic and self-congratulatory non-representation of what people really want to watch realise that we aren't impressed by their worthless little gold man, I now announce the first ever unofficial "Bloody Oscar" awards for 2011.


BEST PICTURE

A Serbian Film


BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Dieter Laser - The Human Centipede


BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

John Brumpton - The Loved Ones


BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Robin McLeavy - The Loved Ones


BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Katarina Zutic - A Serbian Film


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

A Serbian Film (because nobody over the age of 8 should be watching cartoons!)


BEST ART DIRECTION

Peter Grundy - Saw 3D


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Nemanja Jovanov - A Serbian Film


BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Xanthe Heubel - The Loved Ones


BEST DIRECTING

Sean Byrne - The Loved Ones


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

A Serbian Film


BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Paranormal Activity 2


BEST FILM EDITING

Andy Canny - The Loved Ones


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

A Serbian Film


BEST MAKEUP

Erik Hillenbrink - A Serbian Film


BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE)

Sky Wikluh - A Serbian Film


BEST MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG)

Love Hurts by Nan Vernon - The Loved Ones


BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)

A Serbian Film


BEST SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)

The Human Centipede


BEST SOUND EDITING

Nikola Zivkovic - A Serbian Film


BEST SOUND MIXING

Aleksandar Perisic - A Serbian Film


BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Miroslav Lakobrija - A Serbian Film


BEST WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

Melissa Rosenberg - The Twilight Saga: Eclipse


BEST WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

Aleksandar Radivojevic and Srdjan Spasojevic - A Serbian Film


Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.

I got a couple of awards while I was away

Thanks to Jinx and Spooky Pie, I now have a couple of new awards. Click the images below to find out more.



There are still got another four weeks to go before I can get back to doing my blog regularly due to the intensive training course I am on (which I'm not allowed to talk about), having to study for an exam and a ton of other stuff that always seems to be getting in the way.

I've just watched "The Last Exorcism" and I wasn't overly impressed by it even though the acting was quite good. I really don't have any time for these fake documentary-style films (or "cinéma vérité" if you want to be pedantic) in the first place. I don't even like "The Blair Witch Project" all that much. It seems that every time somebody makes one of these films they ruin it all with motion sickness inducing camerawork and stupid endings.

The latest big release for movie bloggers seems to be "Machete" which I have absolutely no interest in watching at all. It isn't horror, sci-fi or anything along those lines but if it crops up on TV in a few years time and there's nothing else on, I might give it a go. I recently saw "Bitch Slap" (which I got from Netflix) so I'm down with the kids when it comes to fake "grindhouse" (an overused term) and exploitation movies but, again, they aren't something that I watch regularly.



"Bitch Slap" was a terrible movie but the eyecandy was good. As a very poor man's "Kill Bill" it sort of worked but I can't recommend it to anyone but the very easily pleased.

In other news, I have found nothing new in Big Lots for months now so I think that source of cheap horror DVDs has pretty much dried up. I did buy a video camera there with my 20% loyalty discount so I might have to start making my own films now. Only kidding. I couldn't do much worse that the movies on the three Echo Bridge "Horror Collector's Set" packs which I got from Wal-Mart for $5 each though. I don't recommend even paying $5 each for these titles, but, in case you haven't seen them, here are the sleeves:

Having just been down to the local "Swap Shop" (a pawn shop for those of us of a different culture), I returned with a new two-disc special edition of "300" to replace one that I lent to somebody and never got back, "The Bourne Supremacy", "The Bourne Ultimatum" and yet another Echo Bridge "Horror Collector's Set" which I can't find an image for on Amazon. It seems you have to be careful with these Echo Bridge packs because they tend to swap the movies around on them and put out 2 movie and 6 movie versions of the same thing as well. The only one I'm missing now is the "Vampires Collection" which I know Target usually carries but it was out of stock last week when I went there.

Anyway, so far I have:

Hindsight
Night of the Living Dead
Razor Eaters
Cruel World

Live Animals
Roman
Wages of Sin
Skeleton Man

Bloody Mary
Mortuary
Memory
Salvage

and

Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep
Howling IV: The Original Nightmare
Night Shadow
Raging Sharks

It seems there's a 6 movie "Horror Collector's Set" with the original "Prom Night" and "Ghoulies IV" on it and a slightly different 4 pack with "The Nurse" on it instead of one of the other titles. Echo Bridge have also created these:

and now this:

I'm sure they do it just to confuse me. :)