Fright (1971)

"Young babysitter Amanda arrives at the Lloyd residence to spend the evening looking after their young son. Soon after the Lloyds leave, a series of frightening occurrences in the gloomy old house have Amanda's nerves on edge. The real terror begins, however, when the child's biological father appears after recently escaping from a nearby mental institution."

As I've been watching a few films containing outstanding portrayals of nutters recently, it would be remiss of me if I didn't say something about Peter Collinson's "Fright" (also known as "I'm Alone and I'm Scared" in America).

Although I'm one of those people who would argue until I'm red in the face that the plot of "Fright" paved the way for "Halloween" (1978), I have to admit that John Carpenter probably had no idea of this film's existence when he made his slasher classic. Psychos escaping from asylums and seeking revenge was nothing new in the horror genre even in 1971, but whereas John Carpenter added a few supernatural abilities to Michael Myers, "Fright" (scripted by Tudor Gates) deals with a much more human and sympathetic villain.

"She's a sensible girl. She won't be frightened."

"Fright" is almost a film of two distinct halves due to focusing first on Susan George as babysitter Amanda and then eclipsing her performance with the late Ian Bannen as nutty Brian. When I say "almost", it's because Susan George in her skimpy lilac mini-dress absolutely carries this film from beginning to end.

Obviously this isn't just a story with two actors such as "Sleuth" (1972), but the others are little more than supporting roles. Honor Blackman does her best to act paranoid as Helen, Cockney geezer Dennis Waterman tries to be Amanda's desperately horny boyfriend Chris, and George Cole as Jim is, well, just the same slightly amusing George Cole as he ever was. There's nothing wrong with any of their performances, and none of them are merely two-dimensional bit parts, but as I said, this is Susan George's vehicle most of all.

"From now on, the world is your lobster."

Since I wasn't really alive at the time that "Fright" came out (1972 in the USA), I have absolutely no idea about what the critics' reaction was to it. If you compare "Fright" to "The Exorcist" (1973), it's obvious that horror movies really increased in nastiness in little over a year. I know that it's like comparing oranges with apples, but "Fright" seems like a throwback to a much tamer world of horror movies. The fact that it contains some quite brutal violence and lots of screaming yet still retains a PG certification does little to persuade me otherwise.

I suppose there's just something a lot more cosy about British horror movies which the censors didn't pick up on, plus most British filmmakers didn't often go for gritty realism until much later than their American equivalents. Consequently, "Fright" is full of well-mannered Brits all saying "please" and "thank you", although on one occasion Susan George lets a lovely four-letter expletive out, and there's never any doubt in your mind that this is a horror movie.

"I wrote the theme tune, sang the theme tune..."

If this was an American horror, Susan George's cussing would have one of those annoying clichés which would set her out to be either morally or mentally unstable. In "Fright", not only is our heroine very much a prototype for the even more foul-mouthed Margot Kidder in "Black Christmas" (1974), but you know that she isn't an innocent dumb blonde with a pretty face. It makes her character real.

Of course, Susan George is a fantastic piece of flawless eyecandy (or "tottie" as we Brits say) as well as being a feisty final girl. I really don't know a lot about her as an actress, but I do know that she was footballer George Best's girlfriend at one point, was married to Simon MacCorkindale, loves horses, and also starred in the infamous "Straw Dogs" (1971). If she ever looked more beautiful in a film than she did in "Fright" then I want to see it.

"Here's Brian!" doesn't have quite the same ring to it really.

Once creepy Ian Bannen turns up, however, Susan George is almost pushed completely out of the limelight by his acting prowess. Although he's not nearly as good in "Fright" as he is in "The Offence" (1972), there are some obvious parallels between the way Ian Bannen plays Brian and the suspected paedophile Kenneth Baxter.

Maybe it's because he does a trademark mumbling thing every so often, but Ian Bannen really gets under my skin (or on my last nerve). I know it's wrong to speak ill of the dead, but there was just something very sinister and menacing about Ian Bannen in every role that I've ever seen him in. He was probably a lovely man in real life though, and weirdly, that shows through too in the scene with his screen son (Tara Collinson) which looks improvised rather than scripted. I even felt a little bit sorry for nutty Brian because he's more to be pitied than blamed.

I really don't have anything else to say about "Fright" other than recommending that you watch it. Yes, it's a little bit dated now but not in a bad way. It's not really very scary or exciting either when compared to modern slashers, but it still has some effectively tense scenes.

Trivia lovers will note that the two stars of ITV's "Minder", George Cole (who played Arthur Daley) and Dennis Waterman (who played Terry McCann) were both in "Fright" eight years before their famous partnership. Oddly though, they have no scenes together.

Also watch out for a couple of self-aware "meta" moments which pre-date the "Scream" series by a quarter of a century.

R.I.P. George Cole, OBE. He died at the age of 90 on August 5th, 2015.

Rewind This! (2013)

"Home video changed the world. The cultural and historical impact of the VHS tape was enormous. This film traces the ripples of that impact by examining the myriad aspects of society that were altered by the creation of videotape."

Even though this documentary's director, Josh Johnson, has been gobbing-off and exaggerating about how I called him "creepy" for being yet another two-day follower on Twitter who appeared on my followers list, said nothing to me ever, and then unfollowed me just because I didn't follow him back simply for existing, I'm not Harry Knowles and will give "Rewind This!" a fair review. Yes, Josh, I know you'll read this and report back to your new clique of pretend friends, so enjoy your time here!

For what it is, "Rewind This!" is an informative yet somewhat repetitive history of VHS. Interviews with several celebrities in the horror movie industry including Charles Band, Lloyd Kaufman, Frank Henenlotter, and Cassandra Peterson are mixed with nutty independent filmmakers and VHS collectors to good effect, but there are too many big names missing for it to be the "definitive" documentary on the subject. That tagline in the trailer has a Hell of a lot wrong with it!

Where's Paul from VHScollector.com or any of the other YouTube collectors such as KandJhorrordotcom? They aren't in this anywhere, but one of the last "mom and pop" video stores and some amusing sadsack who gleefully films no-budget camcorder movies for his own amusement take up a good chunk of time which would have been better spent on interviewing more collectors. Why do that when what people really want to see is the tapes themselves, the novelty big boxes, and a more indepth look at how all the different distribution companies came and went? Where's the advice for new collectors from old collectors? And how can you let someone who stacks her tapes sideways by colour pass by without comment on her incorrect way of storing them? Arrrgh!

Unlike the maker of this documentary, I was alive before VHS tapes existed and can enthuse a lot more about how they revolutionised the way we all viewed movies. These "90s kid" filmmakers are so spoiled by modern technology that they don't even know they were born! Sadly, it shows in such superficial presentations because of the lack of real life experience and research. Information such as how the Betamax phase was over before it began in Britain, or that PAL VHS rental boxes (in two different sizes depending on whether they were ex-rentals or sell-through) were plastic rather than the cardboard crap which the American NTSC tapes came in isn't even mentioned! I know you can't include everything, but that's exceptionally lazy considering that I know Josh regularly talks to a certain English VHS blogger on Twitter!

Overall, I enjoyed the nostalgic interviews with the celebrities, but learnt precious little about the collectors or what they had in their collections. I got some entertainment but no joy out of "Rewind This!"; it gave me no incitement or renewed enthusiasm to start collecting again, and I actually felt quite alienated by its Americanness. There's also far too much emphasis on business in what appears to be an attempt to discredit the innovators for their opportunist capitalism, but maybe that's just how I naturally read things negatively. In fairness, I've also seen infinitely more famous people disgrace themselves on YouTube once the smoke and mirrors are gone.

Thus, I came away from "Rewind This!" feeling like there's a much bigger story to be told, and there is. Fortunately, another documentary called "Adjust Your Tracking" is coming soon which promises to be better. It's still too early to tell whether either will be the "definitive" documentary about VHS, but collectors will probably buy both anyway.

Worth a rental.

V/H/S/2 (2013)

"Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance."

I wasn't going to watch this after how much I hated the first "V/H/S", but faced with the choice between "V/H/S/2" or "The Purge" (aka "The Strangers 2022"), I decided against the PG-13 claptrap.

Yes, I know that choosing between "V/H/S/2" or "The Purge" is like choosing whether to eat warm vomit or cold vomit, and normally I'd pass on both, but there's nothing else new to watch. One thing is for certain though, it doesn't matter how many good reviews "The Purge" gets about its alleged "social commentary", I'm done with Bumhole Productions. I won't be watching "InSHITious 2" either.

As far as sequels go, "V/H/S/2" is technically better than the original. Even though it's only more faux "found footage" with shakycams aplenty, extra cameras where there shouldn't be cameras, and no explanation or logic behind why any of these movies would be on obsolete VHS tapes in the first place, the excessive gore makes up for it.

Unfortunately, the stories are just as weak as before with lots of bad acting and "WTF" moments which give away its amateurish composition. 13-year-olds or any of the ADHD, games console generation will undoubtedly love it. Giving credit where it's due, the pacing is a hell of a lot better this time though.

I was pleasantly surprised that "V/H/S/2" didn't make me want to toss my cookies within the first five minutes. There's never a good reason why anyone should need to take Dramamine before watching a movie in the comfort of his own home. It's always nice to be able to finish a movie that you've paid to see online (or anywhere else for that matter).

Numerically, I rate "V/H/S/2 as a 3 out of 10, but as it's a new movie which most of you haven't seen yet, I'm not going to go into depth about the reasons why.

Instead, I'll post my Twitter feed (edited into the correct chronological order) so you can read my reactions as they happened. Some people got a kick out of when I did this for the "Evil Dead" remake although I actually put more effort into those.

A SPOILERIFIC TWITTER COMMENTARY WILL FOLLOW.
Do not read any further if you want to watch "V/H/S/2" on your own.

No idea what her name is, but she's very pretty.

I didn't put any timings before each Tweet this time because I couldn't be bothered. You can easily match them up to each segment though.

I'm watching V/H/S/2 (57 others are watching) http://bit.ly/ZBrKvD #GetGlue #VHS2

Nice boobs. It'll be all downhill from here. #vhs2

Eeek! A penis! #vhs2

If another penis shows up, I won't be watching any more of it. :( #vhs2

No acting ability or camerawork ability whatsoever. #vhs2

Apple product placement. ::yawn:: #vhs2

Why is it that the 5 people in the world who use Macbooks all have to be in horror movies? #vhs2

A bionic eye? Really? OMG This sucks. #vhs2

If they can't hold a camera steady, what's the point? This isn't film, it's YouTube. :( #vhs2

This is the worst POV I've ever seen. Where's the camera? On top of his head? Supposed to be in his eye. :( #vhs2

So if you get a bionic eye, you can see ghosts with it? Somebody should have told Steve Austin that. :( #vhs2

This bionic eye guy has a really big house. Probably a rent boy. #vhs2

He lives in a great big house like that but he wears a plastic Casio watch? You have to be kidding me. #vhs2

Oh, God! The girl was born deaf? So she's Jaime Sommers now? Drinks beer too? Low-class skank. #vhs2

Tits ahoy! #vhs2

Scientists capable of creating a bionic eye transfer the data from it to low-tech VHS tape? Yeah, right. #vhs2

I just knew it would have an "If thyne eye offends thee, pluck it out" ending. Gah! Seen it all before in "Body Bags". #vhs2

So who's the meth lab chav in the Macbook video? Probably has an ASBO. #vhs2

iPhone placement. ::yawn:: #vhs2

I think we can see where the camera was mounted on the first dude now that we have the mountain bike nerd. #vhs2

Wait. He has a camera on his handlebars looking at him too? What a whore! Must be a YouTuber. #vhs2

"I've got a big fucking stick!" Really? Am I bothered? Face. Bothered. Face. Bothered. I'm not even bothered. Zombies? Gah. :( #vhs2

Give a film school student a camera and what do they do? Make a zombie film. Shove it up your arse! #vhs2

"He's like covered in blood." LIKE covered in blood? How LIKE covered in blood is that? Ketchup maybe? That's LIKE blood. #vhs2

Self-aware zombie? Fail. #vhs2

Bored with the third story already. No idea what language the guy is speaking. Korean maybe? #vhs2

Translator chick is hot. #vhs2

Blair Witch stick figures? Really? #vhs2

Who put the subtitles in when they transferred it to VHS tape? #vhs2

Who is filming what? Seems to be a lot of extra cameras in the third story. #vhs2

Did they leave a camera filming from the boot of their car? Why? #vhs2

I've eaten a whole bag of Bugles (Nacho Cheese flavour) watching this. #vhs2

Ok, I admit that Stanley knife to the throat was good. #vhs2

Nice bit of splatter in the third story. #vhs2

But now it's turned into Quake. :( #vhs2

Baphomet wants his daddy! "Papa!" LOL #vhs2

Lots of snot. LOL #vhs2

They are making a movie with a dog-cam? 'Murica. :( #vhs2

Bah. Aliens? Aliens don't exist. What utter horseshit. #vhs2

I think they killed the cute little dog. Fuck the makers of this film. #vhs2

The chav shot himself. Flinched. Missed. Blew his face off. Most common accident for potential suicides. Now he's Zoidberg. #vhs2

The wraparound story made no sense. Ah well, another one for the video game generation. :( Crap. #vhs2

It was easier to watch than V/H/S, but... meh. Some nice gore effects, but why all the extra cameras, and who put the films onto VHS? #vhs2

My rating for V/H/S/2 = 3 out of 10. Not scary. Not shocking enough. Seen it all before but filmed with steadier cameras. #vhs2

I'm not sure what the names of each segment in this anthology are, and I don't really care that much to look them up either. The third segment with the cult is easily the best, but the second with the zombies is kind of okay too. In both cases, there are too many extra cameras floating about which makes a mockery of the "found footage" gimmick. The wraparound story is just a waste of time.

My biggest criticism of "V/H/S/2" is that there are too many zombies in it. Two segments and the wraparound story are full of zombies, and like most people, I've already seen enough zombie movies to last me a lifetime.

The biggest collection of horror VHS tapes ever!

Quite by accident, I found this collector on YouTube. He estimates that he has over 2,200 horror VHS tapes (a lot of them are duplicates of the same films). I think he probably has a lot more than that.

If you ever wondered what that number of VHS tapes would look like in the flesh, check out the rest of his videos at KandJHorrordotcom.

Strangely enough, I don't feel at all jealous when seeing a collection like this. In 2005, I had a similarly sized VHS collection which, before I gave all the tapes away, was a huge burden to me especially when I had to keep finding new places to store it all in. I've lost count of the number of bookcases and storage cabinets which I bought over the years.

Storage space is obviously an issue if, like "J", you just collect every horror title with no discernment between good or bad movies, although with VHS tapes being practically worthless nowadays anyway, there's no good reason not to do exactly the same thing if you feel like it.

My only suggestion, should you decide to start collecting, is to buy all your shelving first and dedicate a whole room to your tapes and/or DVDs. Go floor to ceiling all the way around and BE VERY SELECTIVE with the films you choose to buy.

My tiny VHS collection

A lot of you may wonder how I live. A few nasty buggers may even wonder why I live. I have nothing much to say to the latter, but the first answer is carefully. I've never had a lot of money after all the bills have been paid each month, so sometimes I've bought movies on VHS (for $1 or less each) rather than on DVD.

In the last year, I have acquired almost 120 movies on VHS which I would never have even bothered watching if the now obsolete media hadn't fallen to such a low price. Often, when I go to my local pawn shop to see what horrors have turned up there on DVD (especially in the 4 for $10 section), I find myself distracted by the boxes of VHS goodness and bring a few home with me. I don't always buy horror VHS, so without further ado, here's a look at my collection.

I bought the bookcase from either Family Dollar or Dollar General (I can't remember which it was) for $19.99 just under 4 years ago. I wish they still had them, but I've searched all over for another one without any luck. I now have twice as many VHS tapes as will fit on one bookcase and I can no longer display them upright like books. VHS collecting purists would have you believe that "like books" is the correct manner (and you also have to rewind them). Yeah, right. I used to keep my British VHS collection in special drawers from Argos and Woolworths, and nothing bad ever happened to them, so storing them this way round isn't a problem. Storing them flat would, however, be another matter.

As you can see, I have them in alphabetical order... mostly. I also don't have a lot of horror VHS tapes, which may come as quite a surprise. My VHS collecting philosophy has been to only buy movies which I would never, in my right mind, ever buy on DVD. So, crap like comedies, romances and throwaway Summer action movies are never going to be double-dipped (as entertaining as they may be). The stories aren't going to improve by seeing them a bit clearer, and I'm never likely to watch any of these films again anyway.

I'll briefly go through why I bought some of them, but I'm not going to list them all as you can just click on the pictures themselves for an enlarged view.

Top Shelf

I have no idea why I bought "2001: A Space Odyssey" because it bores me to tears and I don't get it. Maybe I hoped that it would make more sense now that I'm older, but it doesn't.

Obviously, because I'm British, I had to have the Austin Powers movies, but I still don't have the third one for some reason. I thought I had it, but obviously not.

I thought about getting "Basic Instinct" on DVD, but it's one of those films where you only need to see it once. I actually saw it in the cinema when it came out, so it's just in my collection for nostalgic reasons. The same can be said of "Cliffhanger", "Demolition Man", "Face/Off", and "The Fugitive".

I also have the best Connery Bond film, "From Russia with Love", even though I have the whole collection on DVD anyway, and a couple of crappy horror movies. No, I don't mean "Bride of Chucky" which I actually quite like.


Middle Shelf

There are a few horror films among all the horrible films on this shelf which I might buy on DVD one day. Obviously it won't be either of the "I Know What You Did" films because they suck. They sucked when I saw them at the cinema in the '90s, and they suck even more now.

I only bought "Jurassic Park" and its sequel, "The Lost World", because I like dinosaurs. The effects were great at the time but the stories themselves were a bit weak. The kids in the first one make me cringe, especially the girl with her embarrassing, "I know this, it's a Unix system!" line.

I also have "Psycho" and "Psycho IV" still on VHS because I prefer them that way. I don't think I'd get anything more out of either movie if they were upgraded to a higher definition. One is in black and white anyway while the other was made for American (4:3 ratioed/Fullscreen) TV.

I wish that I hadn't even paid a dollar for "Run Lola Run" because it's dubbed not subtitled. I hate that more than anything else when it comes to foreign movies. It's a good job that I watched it on Channel Four years ago. It's not a bad film, but ultimately, it's still only worth watching once... or not at all since it's dubbed.

Bottom Shelf

And, finally, on the bottom shelf, there's the "Scream" trilogy. I don't even acknowledge the fourth movie (in the same way that "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" or the Star Wars prequel trilogy will never exist in my world either).

I have two copies of "Shattered Silence" due to the ridiculousness of the first one I bought being in EP mode. I'd never encountered such a thing before and assumed all retail VHS tapes to be in SP. Obviously, it was too fuzzy and unwatchable so I bought another one.

There are a few "classics" on this shelf including "Speed", "Starship Troopers", "Total Recall" and "True Lies", but there are also some which should never have been made in the first place such as "Series 7", "Star Crystal" (which is turned the wrong way round to remind me to actually finish watching it one day), and "Werewolves on Wheels". In spite of the amusing title, at no point do you get to see hairy werewolves riding motorcycles, which is a shame.

I have a few good horror movies on this shelf which, again, I may upgrade to DVD one day, but only if I get them cheaply enough.

So there you have it, my tiny VHS collection as of 2012. I used to have nearly 2000 VHS horror movies when I was in Britain, but I gave them all away before moving. I don't miss them (or the fear of one day dying in a pool of melted plastic if there was ever a fire), and I've already replaced them with the DVD equivalents.

Do you still collect VHS?

Why do I have two copies of Asylum on VHS?

"A young psychiatrist interviews four inmates in a mental asylum to satisfy a requirement for employment. He hears stories about 1) the revenge of a murdered wife, 2) a tailor who makes a suit with some highly unusual qualities, 3) a woman who questions her sanity when it appears that her brother is conspiring against her, and 4) a man who builds tiny toy robots with lifelike human heads."

"Asylum" (1973) isn't exactly my favourite Amicus film or anything. In fact, I've fallen asleep three times trying to get through it because it's actually rather boring. Not even Peter Cushing can save this one.

I just have two copies because I bought one from the local pawn shop and somebody where I used to work gave me their copy. I'm not surprised that they didn't want it either. The rating on the IMDb is 6.4 but I would only give it half of that.

Amusingly, the second copy starts by announcing that it is a Criterion release. As somebody who has never bought into those overpriced Criterion DVDs, I now own a Criterion VHS tape. I have no idea if it's the same company or not though. It says "Interglobal Home Video" on the box and my research shows it to be from a Canadian company which was notorious in the '80s for badly transferred, low-budget films.

I have a suspicion that the Prism version may actually be some kind of collectible due to its artwork having virtually nothing to do with the movie itself. It can't be worth more than the $1 that I paid for it though as the cardboard is creased and torn. I still can't get my head round why American VHS tapes came in such ridiculous and easy to damage packaging rather than the proper plastic cases like we had in the UK.

WTF? - part 1

How did they get away with this?