Reunion (2015)

"An unstable mental patient goes on an overnight rampage to terrorize an ex-rock star and his friends, only to discover she is linked to him in mysterious ways."

It's not often that I watch and review two indie horror screeners in a row. In previous years, I've tended to be more of a mainstream horror movie reviewer and would have preferred to keep things that way. Unfortunately, the theatrical horror releases this year have been fewer and further between than in the mid '90s, and like a lot of other bloggers, I found myself without anything to write about.

Instead of trying to compete with "zero day reviews" for movies in genres which I don't particularly care for, I've even been desperate enough to try reading books in my spare time (oh, the horror!), and I've now offered my services (dubious as they may be) to absolutely anyone who has a new horror movie to keep me entertained. I suppose it could be worse. At least I'm not watching any more sci-fi movies or comedies.

Unfortunately, for my review of the "Reunion" screener, I've only just finished reading Joe Hill's "Heart-Shaped Box" (2007), and ignoring the supernatural elements from that novel, I noticed more than a few coincidental similarities.

“Reunion” and “Heart-Shaped Box” both tell stories which feature a former rock star, contain scenes of domestic abuse fuelled by alcoholism, have characters with memories blotted out, exposition is revealed in flashbacks, and of course, their protagonists get stalked and sliced-up. There are other things, but I'm not allowed to say what they are at this time. My hands are tied, but I'm sure you'll finger it out... I mean figure it out for yourselves. Oops.

Although I've agreed not to give away any spoilers, some key elements also remind me of several of the late Richard Laymon's novels from my misspent youth, and I'll tentatively throw-in that there may also be some nods to "Halloween II" (1981), "Halloween" (2007), and ""Fright" (1971) as well. That being said, "Reunion" is far more modern and more in the realms of "extreme horror" than its precursors.

Lest I be misconstrued, I'm not saying that writer Bert Havird or director Shawn Chou consciously "borrowed" anything, especially as the movie adaptation of "Heart-Shaped Box" has been stalled for years, but "Reunion" is very much in the same vein and will definitely keep Joe Hill fans satiated. I know that I was.

With its non-linear storytelling and somewhat harrowing subject matter, "Reunion" might be a struggle for regular people to get through. There's a lot of shakycam for one thing, and there are several borderline arty moments which could put traditionalists off. If I wanted to be overcritical and harsh, I'd call the cinematography "pretentious and overambitious", but it's always better to be overambitious than to have no ambition at all, isn't it?

It's all very involved, and there's quite a lot (maybe too much) to keep track of. Even with a standard running time of just over an hour and a half, "Reunion" feels much longer and is emotionally draining to watch even for the most hardcore slasher aficionado. Underneath it all, however, you'll be pleased to know that the usual slasher tropes, character flaws, and stupid decisions abound. Yes, there's some fun stuff here too.

As I'm sworn to secrecy about the major plot points, I can't reveal anything more about “Reunion” other than it's a classy production with great performances and gallons of blood. I'm not sure if this movie is going to be as well received by the general horror fandom as something like “Starry Eyes” (2014), but it's likely to be very highly rated by millennial indie horror fans.

“Reunion” stars Maria Olsen, Jack Turner, Sarah Schreiber, Reign Morton, and Cara Santana. The supporting cast includes Ruth Reynolds, Arielle Brachfeld, Christopher Wolfe, Leif Gantvoort, and Matthew Jaeger.

For further details, please check out the official Facebook page.

Here's another teaser trailer:

Paranormal Asylum: The Revenge of Typhoid Mary (2013)

"Mary Malone (aka Typhoid Mary) was committed to a NY insane asylum to live in solitary after being blamed for spreading Typhoid Fever in the early 20th Century. After decades in isolation she died alone on North Brother Island. Now, nearly 100 years later, two best friends and aspiring filmmakers are setting out to find out what really happened. What starts as a simple investigation turns into a battle for survival, as they discover Mary may be dead, but she's certainly not gone."

If you've been wandering around Walmart recently, you've probably seen this DVD a few times and wondered if it's worth watching. That coverart looks spooky, doesn't it? I bet you think it'll be shit-yer-pants scary! But let's cut straight through the chase here, it's not!

"Paranormal Asylum" is also nothing to do with the "Paranormal Activity" movies or even The Asylum's "Paranormal Entity", but you have to give the filmmakers credit for deliberately creating a confusingly named product which someone is going to buy by accident eventually. The thing is, the plot is nothing like any of those movies unless being a clone of "Grave Encounters" or its sequel counts in any way. Unfortunately, I haven't watched more than 5 minutes of either (except on fast-forward), so I can't say for sure. The word on the street, however, is that "Paranormal Asylum" is an even lower-budget knock off of that already low-budget crap, and I have no reason to doubt it.

Judged on its own merits, "Paranormal Asylum" is absolutely bloody terrible. The story barely makes sense, and the camerawork is so godawful that it's tiresome to watch. It's as if whoever filmed it has no idea how cameras work, how to frame anything, or how to position themselves for the best view. Couple that with the editing which cuts too quickly between shots, and it often becomes nauseating to boot. While I can accept that some of the earlier footage is supposed to look amateur due to small cameras being set up everywhere, in scenes where it's not supposed to be obvious that anyone is holding a camera (and close-ups take over which swing back and forth or whirl around characters), it's actually worse!

Like most low-budget horror movies, the acting is okay in some places and non-existent in others. It's so varied this time though, it makes me wonder if there was ever a complete script involved or if scenes were made up as they went along. Apart from a load of exposition, the rest of the dialogue sounds like it belongs in the cut scenes of a computer game or some crappy Japanese cartoon. Maybe it's just because Nathan Spiteri (who plays Andy) has that kind of voice and delivery, but it's more likely to be because everything is so disjointed and hastily thrown together.

Tying up your possessed fiancée and confining her to bed always ends well.

A somewhat hilarious scene (which isn't meant to be) is when Michelle (Laura Gilreath) gets possessed by the spirit of Typhoid Mary and turns into a flickering escapee from one of those bad '80s computer game movies. Watching her teleport between steps all the way to her car amused me for all the wrong reasons, and I couldn't take anything seriously after that. It's a shame because Laura Gilreath is uber hot and tends to perk things up considerably otherwise. There's no nudity, but at least she strips down to her bra and knickers eventually.

The other main character, Mark (Aaron Mathias), who has the best (albeit far too brief) supernatural encounters, does slightly better overall, despite taking approximately 47 minutes to realise that he's been seeing ghosts! Aaron Mathias seems to be a likeable chap with the right kind of borderline leading man looks to stand out although he doesn't do anything very memorable here. I suppose he does "scared" well enough, but he's the only one who is likely to be affected by any of the jump scares.

Outside of the threesome, minor characters randomly come and go with no rhyme or reason behind their appearances other than how Andy sets up appointments with them for Mark. How Andy knows any of these people remains a mystery within another mystery, especially as the ability to tell a story is not this movie's strong point.

I'm not going to spoil the ending for you because it's as stupid as everything else. Although it ties this mess together in the best way it can, it's completely out of left field and really not worth suffering through the rest of the movie to get to.

The artwork is the best part!

In that case, I'd hate to see a paranormal film that gets it wrong!

And some movies are better off not being made.

Don't confuse it with this:

For the love of God, make this cloning stop!

It's just as bad though.

American Horror Story: Asylum - Final Thoughts

Well, that's it then. The second season of "American Horror Story" ended last night with more of a fizzle than a bang, but it had a few ups and downs along the way.

The story wasn't really as good as the first season except that this time the horror level was increased to way beyond what anyone expected. Severed limbs and blood abounded amidst all the confusion of tortured nutters, space aliens, mutated genetic experiments, demonic possessions, and more than a little bit of perverted sexiness.

As before, Jessica Lange stole the show by adding so many layers to Sister Jude that she made Constance look flat in comparison. I'm sure she'll get another Golden Globe or Emmy nomination even if she doesn't win this time. With everybody acting their hearts out, the entire cast of "American Horror Story: Asylum" deserves an award.

I absolutely loved Sarah Paulson as Lana Winters who proved herself to be not only one of the most beautiful but also one of the best actresses on TV. Even when dressed to look her dowdiest and dirtiest, she was still hot enough to drive the chills from my freezing cold living room. At the end of the day, this was all Lana's story with everything else as little more than padding.

Smoking hot!

Another standout for me was, of course, Lily Rabe as Sister Mary Eunice who looked a lot better as a nun than she did as Nora in the first season. The red lipstick scene and seduction of Monsignor Timothy (Joseph Fiennes) were two of her most memorable moments. She even outshone Chloë Sevigny (aka the girl from "The Brown Bunny") who provided the most pathos.

It's impossible to fault any of the acting except maybe a couple of slipped Boston accents from Evan Peters and Jessica Lange which were oddly jarring even to British ears. They seemed to improve as the series went on but remained forced nonetheless.

The only big problems with this season were that too much was crammed in and there were several places where the story either dragged or went into areas that didn't particularly interest me (or anyone else according to various message boards). The stuff with Frances Conroy as the angel of death was mostly superfluous, the demonic possession of Sister Mary Eunice went nowhere, and the whole alien abduction thing also tried really hard to ruin everything. Against my better judgement, I kind of enjoyed the musical interlude with "The Name Game" song, but it was also still ridiculous.

Overall, I liked the series, especially as it was far more entertaining than any of last year's horror movies (or any other movies for that matter), but it's not something which I would ever buy on DVD. Episodic television has its place in my viewing schedule but not in my collection.

For those of you who haven't already recorded, downloaded or pirated your own copies, "American Horror Story: Asylum" will be released on Blu-ray and DVD on September 24th, 2013 so you can enjoy the madness all over again.

American Horror Story: Asylum

"Welcome to Briarcliff Manor, a notorious insane asylum home to the deranged serial killer, Bloody Face. Lurking in the shadows of this sanctuary of healing are terrifying evils that blur the boundaries between reality..."

In case you missed the TV event of the year, "American Horror Story" returned to the FX channel last night with a completely different story and characters to the first season. This time it's all about a Catholic mental asylum in 1964, alien abductions, and crazy experiments. Alas, there are no more Harmons, Langdons or hot maids, but just another confusing mess to start working out over the coming weeks.

I didn't find the first episode to be so instantly engaging or even half as interesting as before although, with a lot of new cast members, it's too early to tell how this will go.

While I'm pleased to see Sarah Paulson in a bigger part which promises some sapphic sauciness, I'm sure all the fangirls are now ecstatic that Evan Peters is also back in a new role. He's playing a killer who can't remember anything so no big change there.

Of course, the big draw, since she's won a few TV awards, is the return of Jessica Lange. Now she's a nun with an agenda which will surely become more obvious as the story continues.

With its distinct lack of supernatural elements, I doubt that I'll watch "American Horror Story" every week this time. I'm not into space aliens or nutters, and I already have a bad feeling that it's going to become a generic slasher at the end.

Why do I have two copies of Asylum on VHS?

"A young psychiatrist interviews four inmates in a mental asylum to satisfy a requirement for employment. He hears stories about 1) the revenge of a murdered wife, 2) a tailor who makes a suit with some highly unusual qualities, 3) a woman who questions her sanity when it appears that her brother is conspiring against her, and 4) a man who builds tiny toy robots with lifelike human heads."

"Asylum" (1973) isn't exactly my favourite Amicus film or anything. In fact, I've fallen asleep three times trying to get through it because it's actually rather boring. Not even Peter Cushing can save this one.

I just have two copies because I bought one from the local pawn shop and somebody where I used to work gave me their copy. I'm not surprised that they didn't want it either. The rating on the IMDb is 6.4 but I would only give it half of that.

Amusingly, the second copy starts by announcing that it is a Criterion release. As somebody who has never bought into those overpriced Criterion DVDs, I now own a Criterion VHS tape. I have no idea if it's the same company or not though. It says "Interglobal Home Video" on the box and my research shows it to be from a Canadian company which was notorious in the '80s for badly transferred, low-budget films.

I have a suspicion that the Prism version may actually be some kind of collectible due to its artwork having virtually nothing to do with the movie itself. It can't be worth more than the $1 that I paid for it though as the cardboard is creased and torn. I still can't get my head round why American VHS tapes came in such ridiculous and easy to damage packaging rather than the proper plastic cases like we had in the UK.