Three in a row for the first day of October 2016

Here we go again. It's going to be another October where horror reviewers fall over themselves to watch as many movies as they can, and nobody will read their blogs because they are all too busy writing their own.

I usually take a break from blogging around this time every year because Americans yawping on about the Hallowe'en non-holiday get right on my tits, but owing to the fact that I've hardly watched anything new at this point, I may as well join in the circle jerk.

I'm not sure whether to label these three movies as horror or thrillers, but I watched them and moatly enjoyed them. You might like them too.


Hush (2016)



"A deaf writer who retreated into the woods to live a solitary life must fight for her life in silence when a masked killer appears at her window."

A bit of an updated version of "Wait Until Dark", "Mute Witness", "Blink", "Blind Terror", "Julia's Eyes", and a plethora of others where an attractive but disabled woman gets menaced in her own home.

There's a cat in it named "Bitch" who survives, so that's a point in its favour, but the Apple product placement is blatant for those of us who notice such things.

Nothing new here, and one scene apes "The Collector", but it's a nicely done home invasion movie. I believe that Blumhouse produced it (which usually is the kiss of death) and Netflix are distributing it.


The Good Neighbor (2016)



"A pair of mischievous high school kids create the illusion of a haunting on an unsuspecting neighbor. While keeping his every reaction under surveillance, they see much more than they bargained for."

As much as I hate writng "neighbour" in the misspelled American way, this is an American film, so I'll leave it alone.

Not much to say about this other than the leads are pretty good, the twist is unexpected, and the story managed to keep my attention until the end. In some ways it reminds me of "Killer Net" (1998) at the beginning, but the story soon heads in a very different direction.

Another cat has an important part to play in the denouement. How interesting.


Don't Breathe (2016)



"Hoping to walk away with a massive fortune, a trio of thieves break into the house of a blind man who isn't as helpless as he seems."

If you've already watched the previous two movies, there really is nothing original in this one. It's yet another home invasion featuring a disabled "victim" with a secret. No cat this time though.

Out of the the three, this is easily the weakest, not least because of its setting, obvious SJW panderings, and the huge mistake of trying to make anyone feel sorry for the thieves. Personally, I wanted all of them to die.

A lot of younger movie enthusiasts think this is good, and if you haven't seen anything like it before, I suppose it's okay.


Hopefully, I'll have something much better for you tomorrow.

Curse of Chucky (2013)

"After her mother's mysterious death, Nica begins to suspect that the talking, red-haired doll her visiting niece has been playing with may be the key to recent bloodshed and chaos."

Don Mancini's sixth installment in the "Child's Play" franchise has been one of the most anticipated horror sequels for those of us who aren't members of the privileged "praise everything" clique which gets invited to advanced screenings. After what seems like months since those shills started overhyping it, "Curse of Chucky" is finally available via VOD (depending on which country you live in and which service you use), so you can now see what all the fuss was about... or not, as the case may be.

As someone who prefers "Bride of Chucky" (1998) and "Seed of Chucky" (2004) over the first three movies, I'm a little bit disappointed that "Curse of Chucky" is more of a throwback to the earlier ones instead of continuing the story where "Seed of Chucky" finished, especially as I was anticipating being able to divide the franchise into two neat halves according to the titles. Until this one, if the movie has "Child's Play" in it, it's a dated one for fans of '80s and early '90s slashers, but if it has "Chucky" in it, you know it's going to be more modern and fun. Unfortunately, that idea has gone out of the window.

"Curse of Chucky" is like the first "Child's Play" with Chucky working alone and terrorising a family in their house for what seems like no apparent reason (until he explains everything two-thirds of the way through), and as such, it's mostly just another generic slasher with a creepy doll. Even with Brad Dourif appearing in the flashbacks, you could still easily replace Chucky with any doll from the last 30 years and not notice the difference. I was half-expecting Blade, Pinhead, and Tunneler to turn up, and I can't wait to see the inevitable Empire/Full Moon mashups appear on YouTube!

Either she's really tiny or the new Chucky is huge!

Ignoring the little girl who doesn't have much screen time anyway, the star of the show is Fiona Dourif (Brad Dourif's daughter). Apparently, she's not a bad actress, and she's exceptionally hot for a chick in a wheelchair! Sick puppies will probably say that she's the ideal woman because she can't run away, and I have a slight suspicion that her character is really only the way she is to make that somewhat puerile joke. I was quite surprised that Chucky didn't say it out loud at any point! Maybe it's due to the pussified PC times we live in that the one-liners are a lot weaker. Chucky has always been a bit disappointing as a psycho-pervert, but swearing is a poor substitute for his normally Freddy-esque humour.

Gore-wise, there are a couple of decent kills, including a decapitation and a lot of blood, but none of these movies are that special for gorehounds anyway. Most of the budget must have gone on the CGI effects to animate Chucky, which is a bit of a shame. It's not as if Chucky gets much time on screen either.

To add to the eyecandy, Danielle Bisutti (from "InSHITious 2") and Maitland McConnell provide an erotic surprise which I won't spoil for you. It's a nice touch, but it doesn't go far enough. A glimpse of Maitland in her red lingerie is the highlight; a hot and steamy shower scene would have been better.

Overall, I liked the first three-quarters of "Curse of Chucky". There was a little bit of suspense here and there, and I started to feel bad for Fiona Dourif's character, but after the courtroom scene, the three contradictory "fanservice" endings which followed (especially the one with Andy Vincent during the credits) ruined everything and pissed me off. Ideally, it might have been better to have placed the Jennifer Tilly ending in the credits, and left the others as "Special Features" on the future DVD rather than use them to pad the running time, but what's done is done.

"Curse of Chucky" is currently only available via VOD, but it will be released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 8th. Start saving your pennies if you're a Chucky fan, or save them for something better if you aren't.