Reunion (2015)

"An unstable mental patient goes on an overnight rampage to terrorize an ex-rock star and his friends, only to discover she is linked to him in mysterious ways."

It's not often that I watch and review two indie horror screeners in a row. In previous years, I've tended to be more of a mainstream horror movie reviewer and would have preferred to keep things that way. Unfortunately, the theatrical horror releases this year have been fewer and further between than in the mid '90s, and like a lot of other bloggers, I found myself without anything to write about.

Instead of trying to compete with "zero day reviews" for movies in genres which I don't particularly care for, I've even been desperate enough to try reading books in my spare time (oh, the horror!), and I've now offered my services (dubious as they may be) to absolutely anyone who has a new horror movie to keep me entertained. I suppose it could be worse. At least I'm not watching any more sci-fi movies or comedies.

Unfortunately, for my review of the "Reunion" screener, I've only just finished reading Joe Hill's "Heart-Shaped Box" (2007), and ignoring the supernatural elements from that novel, I noticed more than a few coincidental similarities.

“Reunion” and “Heart-Shaped Box” both tell stories which feature a former rock star, contain scenes of domestic abuse fuelled by alcoholism, have characters with memories blotted out, exposition is revealed in flashbacks, and of course, their protagonists get stalked and sliced-up. There are other things, but I'm not allowed to say what they are at this time. My hands are tied, but I'm sure you'll finger it out... I mean figure it out for yourselves. Oops.

Although I've agreed not to give away any spoilers, some key elements also remind me of several of the late Richard Laymon's novels from my misspent youth, and I'll tentatively throw-in that there may also be some nods to "Halloween II" (1981), "Halloween" (2007), and ""Fright" (1971) as well. That being said, "Reunion" is far more modern and more in the realms of "extreme horror" than its precursors.

Lest I be misconstrued, I'm not saying that writer Bert Havird or director Shawn Chou consciously "borrowed" anything, especially as the movie adaptation of "Heart-Shaped Box" has been stalled for years, but "Reunion" is very much in the same vein and will definitely keep Joe Hill fans satiated. I know that I was.

With its non-linear storytelling and somewhat harrowing subject matter, "Reunion" might be a struggle for regular people to get through. There's a lot of shakycam for one thing, and there are several borderline arty moments which could put traditionalists off. If I wanted to be overcritical and harsh, I'd call the cinematography "pretentious and overambitious", but it's always better to be overambitious than to have no ambition at all, isn't it?

It's all very involved, and there's quite a lot (maybe too much) to keep track of. Even with a standard running time of just over an hour and a half, "Reunion" feels much longer and is emotionally draining to watch even for the most hardcore slasher aficionado. Underneath it all, however, you'll be pleased to know that the usual slasher tropes, character flaws, and stupid decisions abound. Yes, there's some fun stuff here too.

As I'm sworn to secrecy about the major plot points, I can't reveal anything more about “Reunion” other than it's a classy production with great performances and gallons of blood. I'm not sure if this movie is going to be as well received by the general horror fandom as something like “Starry Eyes” (2014), but it's likely to be very highly rated by millennial indie horror fans.

“Reunion” stars Maria Olsen, Jack Turner, Sarah Schreiber, Reign Morton, and Cara Santana. The supporting cast includes Ruth Reynolds, Arielle Brachfeld, Christopher Wolfe, Leif Gantvoort, and Matthew Jaeger.

For further details, please check out the official Facebook page.

Here's another teaser trailer:

You're Next (2011)

"When the Davison family comes under attack during their wedding anniversary getaway, the gang of mysterious killers soon learns that one of victims harbors a secret talent for fighting back."

I thought it best to wait until the other horror bloggers exhausted their overpraise before watching "You're Next". It's been described as everything under the Sun including a parody and a comedy, but I can't see how this low-budget crap could be either of the latter except unintentionally.

Basically, "You're Next" is a mixture of Mario Bava's "A Bay of Blood" (1971) and Dae-wung Lim's "To Sir with Love" aka "Bloody Reunion" (2006). Despite the masks which the bad guys wear, it's not overly similar to "Ils" (2006), "The Strangers" (2008), or "The Purge" (2013) apart from the home invasion aspect. Hell, if it wasn't being classed as such, I wouldn't even call this a horror movie. It's more of a crime drama with horror elements than anything else.

After 25 minutes of boredom, which was made worse by everything being filmed with a handheld camera, all the shouting and screaming over the top of each other just made me want to walk out. I didn't, of course, because that would be wasteful, but I didn't enjoy anything which followed either.

I wonder what this movie is called?

While "You're Next" might be fine for teenagers who want the kills to occur off camera with only the aftermath shown, I prefer to see the brutality in all its glory. Unfortunately, every time there's the potential for something to be "lush", the punches are pulled. Whether that's due to the budget or because Adam Wingard is a shitty filmmaker is anyone's guess.

Out of the not very inventive deaths, only two deliver a decent amount of blood, and their repetitive nature gets old pretty fast. I suppose stabbing someone in the head either with a crossbow bolt, a screwdriver, or a knife is the quickest way to finish the job, but it doesn't make interesting viewing. It also takes considerably more force to stab anything through someone's skull than some tiny Australian girl is capable of, so there's that too. Female empowerment, my arse!

Even though nearly everybody knows about the twists now, I'm not going to spoil it more for you except to say that the reveal comes far too early at around the 50 minute mark. Thus, there's another 40 minutes of clichés, poorly written dialogue, and bad acting to get through afterwards which I can't be bothered to talk about. As thrillers go, "Panic Room" (2002) is infinitely more entertaining, tense, and scarier than this drivel.

"Our target for this year's purge is hiding in your home."

The only character who I almost liked was Zee played by Wendy Glenn, simply because she's hot! There's no depth of characterisation to anyone though. In generic slasher-style, they only exist to die as quickly and as unpleasantly as possible.

At the end of the day, "You're Next" is just another overhyped home invasion movie in an oversaturated subgenre. No wonder it sat on the shelf for two years. In better days, this would have been straight-to-DVD fodder rather than being worthy of a theatrical release.

Static (2012)

"A couple facing marital problems after losing their child finds their life together further complicated by a mysterious visitor."

Very slow and filmed using a handheld camera by someone obviously afflicted with Parkinson's disease, "Static" is a predictable hybrid of "The Strangers" (2008) and "Voices" (1973).

Apart from Sarah Shahi being absolutely gorgeous, that's all you really need to know unless you want the twist spoiled. The clue is in the gas masks not actually being gas masks, but if you look closely at the DVD artwork, you'll probably realise that for yourself.

As you would expect from a cast including Milo Ventimiglia, Sarah Shahi, Sarah Paxton, and a cameo from William Mapother (aka Ethan from "Lost"), the acting is okay. It's TV movie quality acting, of course, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's competent enough for what it is. It's just a pity that the ending is so unoriginal, and there aren't any scares.

Worth a rental, I suppose.

The Purge (2013)

"A family is held hostage for harbouring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legalized."

Full of so many tropes that it even has its own page on tvtropes.org, "The Purge" is yet another completely unoriginal home invasion story from Blumhouse Productions and Platinum Dunes designed to get as much money as quickly as possible out of teenagers who haven't seen many other movies. In case you haven't noticed, this is exactly what Blumhouse Productions and Platinum Dunes do, and they've been very successful at it.

I don't want to get into a big discussion of all the sources which "The Purge" rips off, but suffice it to say that its backstory borrows heavily from Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" (1948), The Twilight Zone's "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street" (1960), Star Trek's "The Return of the Archons" (1967), and dozens of movies including "The Most Dangerous Game" (1932), "Rio Bravo" (1959), "A Clockwork Orange" (1971), "Battle Royale" (2000), and "Assault on Precinct 13" (1976/2005). The latter is the most obvious since the "Assault on Precinct 13" remake also stars Ethan Hawke and its screenplay was written by none other than James DeMonaco, the writer/director of "The Purge".

Despite its Bacchanalian inspirations and socio-political aspirations, "The Purge" still isn't anything more than a clone of all the home invasions such as "Funny Games" (1997), "Panic Room" (2002), "Them" (2006), and "The Strangers" (2008). Mix everything together with a swizzle stick made out of "Desperate Housewives" and you have your movie. If you want to be really cynical (and you should be), the futuristic setting is just a means to isolate the family. It's the dead cellphone trope without using a cellphone.

The thing is, "The Purge" isn't horrible to watch. It's shot using a handheld camera for some reason, but it's no more shaky than anything by Lars Von Trier or an episode of "This Life" so I can let that pass. Of course, it has to have a little bit of webcam/surveillance camera nonsense going on it too because it's a Blumhouse Production, and they never want to let you forget how they were also responsible for "Paranormal Activity" and "Sinister", but even that is acceptable within the film's internal logic. As far as Blumhouse/Platinum Dunes products go, "The Purge" is actually the best they've made so far.

Bring back "The Sarah Connor Chronicles"! And tripods!

Although "The Purge" isn't a horror movie, it does fit into "The Twilight Zone"-esque subgenre of dystopian futures which have been done to death in recent years almost as much as zombies and slashers, and it has a few moments of extreme violence which make it fairly entertaining. Unfortunately, even as an R-rated movie, it feels PG-13 due to the very obvious lack of sex, nudity or realistic profanities. It almost goes without saying that "The Purge" has very little gore and absolutely no scares or tension. With two hot chicks in the besieged family and no threat of rape at any point, it doesn't seem to be a movie meant for adults at all.

Part of the problem is that a bigger socio-political commentary on modern America with its layers of hypocrisy/double-standards and racism isn't fully realised. Do I really need to mention how the skin colour of the Target/Hostage (played by Edwin Hodge) shouldn't be an issue but clearly is? I think not. There's also so much that "The Purge" could've said about corporate brainwashing, capitalism, creepy American patriotism, gun control laws, crime, and the general selfish, jealous and violent nature of the first-world, but it's purely superficial. Even "Robocop" (1987) addressed those issues better nearly 30 years ago. If American society didn't learn about itself from Paul Verhoeven's satire then it's unlikely to do so from a half-arsed home invasion flick, so just shove another burger in your mouth and hide behind your smart phone because "The Purge" isn't meant to be anything other than low-brow entertainment either.

Acting-wise, "The Purge" is acceptable so I have no complaints there. Ethan Hawke and Lena Headey do particularly well although their rich, white, middle-class characters aren't likeable nor are they entirely meant to be. Every character in "The Purge" is mentally damaged by the futuristic government's brainwashing so what's to like? Rhys Wakefield as the "Polite Stranger" stands out the most as a hybrid of Patrick Bateman/Alex DeLarge, but even he makes as many stupid decisions as the rest of the characters in this "idiot play".

"Do you like Phil Collins?"

One thing which annoyed me slightly was Max Burkholder's hair which he really needs to get cut. What is it with Blumhouse Productions and little boys with girls' hairstyles? Michael Hall D'Addario from "Sinister" should accompany Max to the barbers. There are times when its hard to tell if it's Max's character or the hot sister (played by 23-year-old Adelaide Kane) who is in shot, but that's a minor quibble. It's also not his fault that the pussified character he played should have been one of the first ones purged. I spent more time wondering where the design for "Timmy", the remote-controlled webcam on a tank, came from than wishing any of the characters dead since most of them are underused anyway.

The surprise twists which come from betrayals are more irksome and predictable clichés for most people although, as usual, I didn't see either of them coming. I'll be honest, I actually enjoyed "The Purge" until I started to think about it afterwards, and then it left a nasty taste in my mouth because of the punches which were pulled. A night where all crimes are allowable, but the best anyone could come up with is a lame home invasion? I could write something far more disturbing in five minutes simply because I'm a very sick puppy indeed.

It's not worth going into any greater depth about "The Purge" because it's not a movie which can stand up to any kind of critical deconstruction nor is it meant to. I know some people have moaned about the number of times characters are saved at the last second, but those contrivances aren't even that noticeable during the action unless you are looking for them. There are so many plot holes, unanswered questions, lapses in logic and wasted opportunities that "The Purge" is essentially just another "popcorn flick" for the Summer which I'll probably buy on DVD as a souvenir of how low the movie industry has sunk this year.

Sleep Tight (2011)

(AKA Mientras duermes)



"You wake day after day to the comfort and security of your home. But how safe is it really?"

Directed by Jaume Balagueró, the half of the "[REC]" creators who didn't ruin the franchise, "Sleep Tight" is a solid Spanish thriller along the lines of "Hider in the House" (1989) but with more sadism and set in an apartment building in Barcelona. Unlike "[REC]", there are no weird exorcisms or rabid zombies here, just a balding concierge named César who gets his jollies by making other people miserable.

The main focus of César's unwanted attention is Clara, a sexy thirty-something played by Marta Etura. Her character's nickname, "Mimi", is undoubtedly an homage to Mimi Rogers, but they don't really look or act the same. For all of its originality as a Spanish movie, "Sleep Tight" is knowingly derivative of its American predecessors, but it's actually considerably better than all of them.

Luis Tosar plays César, the aforementioned concierge, with such charisma that it's impossible not to root for him instead of the people whose lives he destroys with his spiteful pranks. César starts out as an antihero rather than an outright villain, but where one ends and the other begins is hard to say.

Tormented by his own inability to experience happiness, César is a morbidly fascinating character much like dour comedian Jack Dee without any witty jokes. As a Brit, I found myself reminded of Jack Dee's TV show where he tried various things to make himself happy and they all failed. Thus, there are comedic touches to "Sleep Tight", of course, but they are the very sick and twisted kind.

As you can see in the trailer (above), César's escapades include hiding under the bed of his uber hot victim then sliding out and chloroforming her into total unconsciousness while she sleeps. At first, it seems to be the desperate act of someone who is lonely and wants a cuddle-buddy, but César's darker motives are revealed as the story progresses.

I'm not going to give away anything more, but when César starts altering Clara's beauty creams to cause an allergy and wipes cockroach eggs everywhere, it becomes very obvious that this isn't about unrequited love or some predictable case of revenge.

I will just say that I was torn between fancying Marta Etura (even more that I fiend for Belén Rueda) and hating everything normal that her character represents. I don't think that I'm quite as disturbed as César, but the voyeuristic tendencies of the film certainly caused me to empathise with him.

Everyone in "Sleep Tight" gives a fantastic performance, the characterisation is almost perfect, and the wit of the story really highlights how lazy American movies have become in comparison. I shouldn't need to add that it's all beautifully filmed, but given Jaume Balagueró's previous movies and the resurgence of faux "found footage" crap once again this year, I don't want you to confuse this with more of the same. "Sleep Tight" is a real movie with a script, real actors, a decent pace, and none of that shakycam nonsense.

Since it's a Spanish movie, I have no idea what the background is of any of the actors (other than the information available on the IMDb), but when the little girl who attempts to blackmail César is as outstanding as the other leads, you know that you're watching something special and a little bit more classy than usual. With a very respectable (estimated) budget of $16,000,000, it damned well should be as good as it is too.

I never thought I'd ever call a story of this nature "classy", but it really is. "Sleep Tight" may be as twisted as they come, but it's up there with Roman Polanski's apartment trilogy as far as I'm concerned.

The Dark Hours (2005)

"Dr. Samantha Goodman, an attractive psychiatrist in her thirties, joins her husband and sister for a weekend at a winter cottage when an unexpected guest arrives. Harlan Pyne, a violent sexual offender, is convinced that Samantha conducted unethical experiments on him while she was his doctor."

How I missed "The Dark Hours" when it first came out is a complete mystery to me, unless, of course, it never got distributed at that time in the UK. Mind you, it's quite possible that I saw the DVD sitting on the shelves in Blockbuster, and because of the artwork with the bloody axe on it, I dismissed it as yet another one of those handycam slashers which were even drifting into Britain like the slew of shit that they were and still are.

Nobody ever mentioned "The Dark Hours" on the message boards that I used to waste my time on, and it obviously wasn't getting any promotion from the right people. I only discovered this movie by taking a chance on it as a $2 DVD purchase from the pawn shop.

It's also quite possible that nobody liked "The Dark Hours" because, like all low-budget Canadian movies, it copied everything else which was popular in the horror genre while not adding a whole lot of its own. If you listen to the director's commentary, Paul Fox is proud to have taken so many ideas from other directors and very well known horror movies.

Although most horror geeks find a lot of amusement in these homages, there are many other reviewers who just notice the ripoffs. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed "The Dark Hours", I felt that I'd seen it all before, and I had. Not only were there a couple of similarities to "Funny Games", but not to put too fine a point on it, we've had so many movies with a similar twist ending over the years that "The Dark Hours" is somewhat predictable. If I only mention the names of two previous movies from 2003, "Identity" and "High Tension", I'm sure that you can work out the spoilers for yourself.

Where this is actually better than all those other movies is, of course, that it has phenomenal acting and a more cerebral script. It also looks and sounds like it had a much bigger budget. According to the IMDb, the budget was 500,000 Canadian dollars, but I'm sure that the director said it was only $50,000 on the commentary. He also explained how they achieved such great sets with the minimal resources available.

While not very gory, there are a couple of scenes which I can imagine that the truly timid would not want to watch. The effects are pretty good, and there is a lot more blood shed than I thought there would be. Dog lovers, in particular, will definitely not enjoy this film.

The lighting, camerawork and editing are really exceptional. I also didn't spot any continuity errors (apart from a mistaken one which was because I didn't quite get what was going on at the time), and I was very impressed by the overall production values. This is high-end Canadian stuff and not just another oddly paced, off-beat, and slightly out-of-sync product.

With a cast of mostly TV actors, some of whom are more famous than others (although probably a lot more so in Canada), there's nothing too unusual here. Where "The Dark Hours" ups its game beyond just settling for being good enough, however, is in the performances from everyone involved. Kate Greenhouse acts her heart out (not literally but nearly) and shows quite a range. Aidan Devine also really stands out as a psychopath who grows increasingly more likeable.

I even liked Iris Graham (who also played one of Emily's sisters in "The Exorcism of Emily Rose"). She's really hot when she isn't crying, and sometimes even when she is. I wish I could find a better picture of her, but I don't want to spoil her sexy scenes for you with a screencap.

Five days ago, Mister Exploit left me a comment, "Dr Blood you are going to love The Dark Hours if you are anything like me." Well, Mr Exploit, I've seen it now and can safely report that I did and I must be.

With this being a more adult and talky thriller than any of those lowbrow, teenage, slasher movies which there are far too many of, there really isn't anything for me to complain about at all. If I had only rented "The Dark Hours", I'd definitely be looking for a copy to buy right now.

Offspring (2009)

"Survivors of a feral flesh-eating clan are chowing their way through the locals. Amy Halbard and Claire Carey strive to survive their abduction by the cannibals and save their children. A subplot involving Claire's despicable husband, Steven, gives an opportunity to cleverly compare predatory civilized folk to the appetite-driven primitives."

There's usually nothing like watching the first film in a potential trilogy after the second one to really mess things up in my head. Fortunately, both Jack Ketchum's "Offspring" and "The Woman" work perfectly as standalone stories so it wasn't so much of a chore.

I intentionally skipped "Offspring" when it first appeared due to my healthy dislike of most of the crap on the "Ghost House" label but, due to having nothing else worthwhile on Netflix, I decided to finally give it a go.

Let me just tell you, before I begin my usual rambling, that both the Netflix and IMDb ratings are way out of sync with how good "Offspring" actually was. You probably already know that I barely even trust the IMDb for a plot synopsis anymore and certainly not the ratings or reviews there. In fact, on my blog, the only person whose critique of a movie counts is my own and that's the way it's always going to stay.

Even though "Offspring" seemed to be more of a crime drama than a horror story at first, it didn't stay that way. While there were certainly a load of cops in this film of various abilities, it became a reverse "Wrong Turn" (2003) or "The Hills Have Eyes" (1977) quite quickly. Here the cannibalistic feral tribe were nomads who preyed on the outskirts of rural civilisation rather than just lying in wait for victims to come to them.

I thought it was a very interesting idea and it prompted me to look up the inspiration for the story, the legends of Sawney Beane and Christie-Cleek, immediately afterwards. As much as the Scottish legends probably had about as much truth to them as this completely fictional movie update, they were quite fascinating to read.

Of course, what I liked most about "Offspring" was that it didn't pull too many punches with the violence or gore. While it was far from being the most graphic nastiness that I've ever seen, there were still enough moments to satisfy most lesser gorehounds and a surprising amount of it was done either by or to children.

I make no secret of the fact that I absolutely cannot abide kids so the more of them who I see getting shot, stabbed or eaten in a horror film, the better, especially if they all look like that little freak from "The Road Warrior" (1981) which these indeed did.

A couple of questions which were tied up for me, due to watching "The Woman" (2011) previously, were the first appearance of the titular feral leader played by Pollyanna McIntosh and the possible origin of the blind "dog-girl". Having never read any of Jack Ketchum's novels, I didn't even know that "The Woman" was a sequel to anything when I saw it. I'm awaiting an answer from Jack Ketchum (via Twitter) concerning the dog-girl which hopefully might clear things up further.

As for "Offspring" itself, there were a few flaws which some people have made too much of concerning the editing and/or pacing but I really didn't notice much wrong. Maybe I get a bit soft on the technical stuff when I'm actually interested in a story but that's actually a huge credit to the writer (Jack Ketchum) and the director (Andrew van den Houten) since, as I often quote from Aristotle, "Art is best when hidden". If I didn't notice it, then it was clearly okay.

Since I'm English, I didn't notice any of the geographical mistakes either but I'm sure there were some. It's still quite jarring for me when I remember David waking up in a hospital 200 miles away from the Yorkshire moors in "An American Werewolf in London" (1981) so it must be much the same for Americans who notice similar things. Having been all over the eastern side of America, it still all looks much the same to me but I've never been to Michigan where this was filmed nor do I even have a clue where it actually is.

I've got to say something about the acting though as it wasn't fantastic. It was borderline adequate and varied. Since I have absolutely no idea who any of them were without looking up their IMDb profiles, I'm assuming that they were mostly TV actors and not very famous ones at that. I didn't hate any of their performances but nobody really stood out apart from Pollyanna McIntosh.

Anyway, hopefully I haven't given away any spoilers as "Offspring" is probably one of the few horror movies on Netflix which I would actually recommend. It's slightly below average in some ways but still great entertainment for a rainy afternoon.

À l'intérieur (2007)

(AKA Inside)



Well, I've just finished watching this unadulterated piece of shite again and feel that's another hour and a quarter of my life which I will never get back. If it hadn't been for the first 30 minutes boring me too rigid to even move, I would certainly not have watched the rest of this atrocity at all.

Not only was it YET ANOTHER HOME INVASION film, but it was a poorly done one at that.

If the CGI foetus that kept appearing wasn't enough to put anybody off, the sheer incompetence of the dumbest French flics to ever appear on screen should do... although you have to give them credit for managing to turn up at Vanessa Paradis' sister's house without her even giving them her address on the phone.

Pretty much all credibility and empathy is lost soon after the horrendous "Ghost" moment. Yeah, it just needs Patrick Swayze and a potter's wheel to complete the awfulness of it all.

But it is gory... very, very gory. I wouldn't say that it's the bloodiest film I've ever seen, but "gorehounds" will undoubtedly get a kick out of it, even if it is all over the top and ludicrous.

It's not scary unless you are pregnant and hormonal, doesn't have much tension or suspense, and is really quite inferior to "Ils" which got released in the US last year.

I'm giving it 1 out of 10 because it was nice to see Beatrice "Betty Blue" Dalle in something again. It's just a pity that it didn't live up to the hype that other online reviewers have fallen for. Without Beatrice Dalle, "Inside" wouldn't have got any points at all.