Aftershock (2012)

"In Chile, a group of travellers who are in an underground nightclub when a massive earthquake hits quickly learn that reaching the surface is just the beginning of their nightmare."

I've been struggling with this movie review for so long that it isn't even funny. But finally, after several glasses of Teacher's and Coke, I'm biting the bullet and writing the first things that come into my head just to get the damned thing out of the way.

The first problem I've been having with "Aftershock" is that it isn't really a horror movie. It's a mean-spirited disaster movie with horror elements. The second problem is, of course, because I'm hardly the biggest fan of Eli Roth. Actually, I'll go further than that, I can't stand his "Hostel" and "Cabin Fever" movies. The weird thing, though, is that I've actually started to like Eli Roth as an actor based on his performance here.

Okay, so Eli Roth is obviously channelling a lot of David Schwimmer and that type into his "Gringo" character, and he comes across as a total wussypants, but he's kind of likeable with it. When the bad things start happening, it's Eli Roth who you're rooting for the most, and I never thought I'd write those words in the same sentence.

Huge spoilers coming!

What happens in Chile stays in Chile!

As the majority of the action in this movie is a series of darkly comedic gags which make as much use of the "no good deed goes unpunished" cliché as possible, it's not worth worrying about the plot too much. Some people have described "Aftershock" as "Hostel with an earthquake" and that's about as deep as it gets. Basically, a bunch of not very worldy-wise tourists in Chile end up dying unpleasantly at the hands of Mother Nature, escaped convicts, or a combination of both.

Eyecandy is provided by Andrea Osvárt (as Monica), Natasha Yarovenko (as Irina), and Lorenzo Izzo (as Kylie). The latter is also in Eli Roth's remake of "The Green Inferno" which I know you're all looking forward to as much as I'm not. These girls really go through it. If it's not bad enough to be shook up by an earthquake and have huge chunks of rock fall on you, they end up getting chased by criminals, one gets raped and then shot, and after making the wrong choice about who to trust, well, not to put too fine a point on it, they all die horribly. The final scene with the "final girl" is hilarious for those of us who are sick of the trope.

The guys along with Eli Roth don't fare any better. Ariel Levy (who keeps his own first name) and Nicolás Martínez (as Pollo) are a very likeable pair whose antics endear you to them even when they are being assholes. They don't make it out of this movie alive either, and nor does our Eli. In fact, Eli Roth's death in this movie is one of the nastiest things I've seen in a long time, not because of the effects, but because of the sadistic and unneccesary nature of it.

Bloody good!

Since "Aftershock" is a disaster movie, it's very frugal with the spectacular effects or people running around in chaos, but it's not too sparse, and there's more than enough to create the right atmosphere. It's $2,000,000 budget was only double that of a movie by The Asylum, so consider the coat cut according to the cloth. It's certainly not disappointing for gore!

I liked "Aftershock" so much that I'm going to put it in "The Vault". It's not the best disaster movie I've ever seen, but it's the best disaster-horror hybrid movie I've seen this year other than "Sharknado".

[REC] (2007)

"A television reporter and cameraman follow emergency workers into a dark apartment building and are quickly locked inside with something terrifying."

In preparation for my next podcast, I rewatched "[REC]" yesterday, started making some notes, and then realised that I had never written a review of it. So, only about 5 years too late, here's my review of "[REC]".

The first thing which I noticed was that the skinny, rabbit-toothed reporter, Ángela Vidal, was really two-faced. I think this was a very well observed piece of filmmaking and definitely a criticism of all those TV journalists who act all friendly (and a bit stupid) but are quite ruthless underneath. Ángela Vidal, played by Manuela Velasco, came across as someone who thought that she was better than everyone else, who considered that the job was beneath her, and was completely narcissistic. Apart from her sexy upper arms, I didn't like anything about her.

As far as eyecandy in the movie went, I thought that Maria Lanau who played Mari Carmen (the little girl's hysterical mother) was much better looking than Manuela Velasco. Well, she was until she got bitten anyway. Maybe it's because she reminded me slightly of uber hot Belén Rueda who is around the same age and equally well preserved.

Unfortunately, Ángela dominated this film. I don't think there were more than 5 of the 120 minutes where she wasn't on screen, and she was a very annoying character. If she wasn't acting in a controlling way or redundantly telling the cameraman to film things, she was screeching at the top of her voice. I'm glad I had subtitles and could turn the volume down.

"Eeeeh, what's up, Doc?"

As for the story, for another faux found footage movie, "[REC]" wasn't bad. I was a bit annoyed by what I would call "linear gameplay", since a lot of the characters' actions involved going backwards and forwards over the same ground just like in a "Resident Evil" game. Actually, it also reminded me of "Doom" and "Quake" in the way that it was all a lot of running through corridors, or up and down stairs, collecting an item at point A to be used at point B, and unlocking doors etc. The video game influence on "[REC]" were blatantly obvious.

Among all the outstanding gore and make-up effects, there were even a couple of jump scares which actually got me. Both involved the little girl, Jennifer, once she had turned rabid. I didn't find the atmosphere to be particularly creepy, and there wasn't any tension, but the jump scares just happened so unexpectedly that they caught me off guard.

Of course, there were several plot holes which almost spoilt my enjoyment of "[REC]" including how Max, the little girl's dog, got infected when the Portuguese girl had been locked away for years with no contact with any of the other residents of the building. The old woman who was said to have cats didn't actually have any cats roaming around her apartment either which was a huge disappointment for me.

The revelation that the rabies-like virus which was turning everyone into zombies was supernatural in origin was a bit hard to believe so I can see why "Quarantine" (2008), the American remake, left that part out. Having to use newspaper clippings and an old-fashioned tape recorder to explain why everything was happening was either an homage to "The Evil Dead" (1981), or more likely, was something else borrowed from computer games.

Even though it had a lot of faults, I was actually quite entertained and really enjoyed rewatching "[REC]". It was nicely paced, not so obviously staged as "Quarantine", and it looked the part. Due to the subject matter, it was totally unbelievable as a "found footage" film, but I'll still rate it as average.