Showing posts with label horror films. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror films. Show all posts

July 28, 2014

The Top 200 Horror Films

THE BEST HORROR FILMS EVER MADE!

A
Aftershock
Alien
Alligator
Alucarda
American Gothic
An American Werewolf in London
The Amityville Horror
Amityville 2: The Possession
Angel Heart
April Fool's Day
Arachnophobia
The Awakening

B
Baby Shower
The Bad Seed
The Birds
Black Christmas
Black Sheep
Blade
Blood and Chocolate
Bloody Birthday
The Bride
Brimstone & Treacle
The Bride of Frankenstein

C
Candyman
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh
The Car
Carnival of Souls
Carrie
Cat People
Cat's Eye
The Changeling
Christine
The City of the Dead
Cold Prey
The Collector
Constantine
Creepshow
The Crow
Crowhaven Farm
Curse of the Demon
The Curse of Frankenstein
The Curse of the Werewolf
Cutting Class

D
Damien: Omen II
Daughters of Darkness
The Dark Hours
Dawn of the Dead
Dead & Buried
The Dead Zone
Deadly Friend
Deep Rising
Devoured
Doctor Blood's Coffin
Dog Soldiers
Dorothy Mills
Dracula (Horror of Dracula)
Dracula A.D. 1972
Dracula II: Ascension

E
The Elephant Man
Embryo
End of the Line
The Entity
Event Horizon
The Evil Dead
The Exorcist

F
Fallen
Farm House
Final Destination
The Fly
The Fog
Frankenstein
Frankenstein Created Woman
Frankenstein's Army
Freaks
Friday the 13th
Fright
Frightmare
Fright Night

G
Ghost Story
The Ghoul
Ginger Snaps
Girly
The Grudge

H
Half Light
Halloween
Halloween II
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
The Hand
Hatchet III
The Haunting
Hellraiser
Hellraiser II: Hellbound
High Lane
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hitcher
Horror Express
The Host
House of Wax
House on Haunted Hill
The Human Centipede II

I
I Spit on Your Grave
Ils (Them)
In the Mouth of Madness
Innocent Blood
The Innocents
Interview with the Vampire
It (Stephen King's 'It')

J
Jaws
Jeepers Creepers
Jennifer's Body

K
King Kong

L
Lady in White
Laid to Rest
The Last Man on Earth
The Legacy
The Legend of Hell House
Legend of the Werewolf
Let the Right One In
Link
Love Object
The Loved Ones
Lovely Molly
Lust for a Vampire

M
Mark of the Devil
Martyrs
The Medusa Touch
Misery
The Mist
Monkey Shines
Mum & Dad
Mute Witness

N
The Nanny
Needful Things
The New Daughter
Night of the Demons
Night of the Living Dead
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3
The Ninth Gate

O
The Omen
Orphan
The Orphanage
The Others

P
The Passion of the Christ
Patrick
The People Under the Stairs
Penny Dreadful
Phantoms
Phantoms (Meridien)
Piranha
Prom Night 2: Hello Mary Lou
Psycho
Pulse
Pumpkinhead

Q
Q: The Winged Serpent

R
Rawhead Rex
Razorback
Re-animator
Resident Evil: Extinction
Return of the Living Dead
Return of the Living Dead 3
The Rite
Roadkill (Joyride)
Rosemary's Baby

S
Salem's Lot
Satan's Triangle
Saw
A Serbian Film
The Serpent and the Rainbow
The Shining
Shutter
The Shuttered Room
Shuttle
The Skeleton Key
Slaughter Studios
Sleep Tight
Sleepaway Camp
Sleepwalkers
Something Evil
Sometimes They Come Back
Spectre
Spellbinder
Spider Baby
Stir of Echoes
Summer of Blood

T
Tales from the Darkside
Teeth
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Thing
Thinner
Tremors
Triangle
Trollhunter
Twisted Nerve

U-V
[Nothing]

W
What Lies Beneath
The Wicker Man
Wishmaster
Witchfinder General
The Woods
Wrong Turn

X-Y-Z
[Nothing]


Once you've seen all these films, there's little else that the horror genre has to offer except for more repetition and inferior clones of the same.

If you are new to the horror genre, just fill up your DVD/Blu-ray collection with these and throw any other "horror movies" that you may have acquired in the bin. You aren't going to watch any of them ever again anyway.

Also note that a considerable number of these titles barely meet the minimum requirements for "horror"—mainly because they aren't SCARY—but I needed 200 of them for this list.

If you want to buy any of these films, you can save a small fortune by getting them from The Bloody Horror Store.

The Bloody Horror Store

August 29, 2013

My Top Ten Spanish Horror Films

Yes, it's just another lazy "Top Ten" post, but to be even lazier, I'm not even going to say anything about these films other than post their synopses from the IMDb.

I do, of course, reserve the right to come back and add a mini-review of each film later, but all you need to know is that they are great. You can now throw away every other horror movie and thriller you own because these are the best of the best!

No, not really, but I really do wish that it was that simple.

Spain has started to become the new Canada in the way that its filmmakers borrow plots from several existing movies and mix them together, but they do it very well indeed. The cinematography in every case is exactly what real films should look like, and the actresses are the hottest in the world. If only the stories weren't so clichéd, and the movies were a little bit more brutal instead of so cerebral, Spain would rule the horror industry.


1. The Orphanage - El orfanato (2007)

"A woman brings her family back to her childhood home, which used to be an orphanage for handicapped children. Before long, her son starts to communicate with an invisible new friend."

It's only $5 in Wal-mart, so you've all got this now.

Read my review here.


2. Spectre - Espectro: Regreso a Moira (2006)

"Alejandro is an elderly writer, and is driving back to the small costal village where he was born and raised. But the peaceful place of his memories has been turned into a vast tourist resort, full of brazen consumerism with no charm left at all."

The best of the "Films to Keep You Awake" (aka "Películas para no dormir") series. It's like "The Reflecting Skin" (1990), but Natalia Millán is far sexier than Lindsay Duncan.

I haven't written a full review of this yet.


3. Childish Games - Dictado (2012)

"Daniel and Laura, both teachers, are confronted by an unusual situation when Mario, a childhood friend of Daniel's, turns up acting strangely and wanting them to meet his daughter, Julia."

Bárbara Lennie is hot!

Review coming very soon!


4. [Rec] (2007)

"A television reporter and cameraman follow emergency workers into a dark apartment building and are quickly locked inside with something terrifying."

It's only "Demons 2" (1986) with shakycams, and I actually prefer "Quarantine" (the remake) in some ways, but... this has a more supernatural ending.

Read my review here.


5. Sleep Tight - Mientras duermes (2011)

"You wake day after day to the comfort and security of your home. But how safe is it really?"

A thriller/drama with horror elements... and Marta Etura, OMG!

Read my review here.


6. Thesis - Tesis (1996)

"While doing a thesis about violence, Ángela finds a snuff video where a girl is tortured until death. Soon she discovers that the girl was a former student in her faculty."

Directed by Alejandro Amenábar. Starring Ana Torrent, Fele Martínez, and Eduardo Noriega! What more do you need to know?

Review coming soon!


7. Julia's Eyes - Los ojos de Julia (2010)

"The story of a woman who is slowly losing her sight whilst trying to investigate the mysterious death of her twin sister."

I haven't written a review of this either because it's more of a thriller than a horror. But Belén Rueda again, oh yes!


8. The Devil's Backbone - El espinazo del diablo (2001)

"After Carlos, a 12-year-old whose father has died in the Spanish Civil War, arrives at an ominous boy's orphanage he discovers the school is haunted and has many dark secrets that he must uncover."

You don't even need me to review this, do you? Maybe I will one day.


9. Kidnapped - Secuestrados (2010)

"Three hooded Eastern-European criminals burst into a home in a Madrid gated community, holding the family hostage in its own home, and forcing the father to empty his credit cards."

It's a home invasion movie which makes "You're Next" look even less original. I thought I'd already reviewed it, but apparently not.


10. Painless - Insensibles (2012)

"Set in Catalonia, Painless weaves two stories: in one, starting during the Spanish Civil War and running through to the '60s, an asylum attempts to rehabilitate children who feel no pain, by teaching them physical suffering. In the second, in the present time, a brilliant neurosurgeon who needs a bone marrow transplant, discovers this dark past when he searches for his biological parents."

Read my review here.


This is how the Horror Lamers do it and get hundreds of comments, right?

July 20, 2013

My Top Ten French Horror Films

Sometimes I get asked why I hate French horror films so much. It's not that I hate them though, it's just that I find them severely overrated.

Thus, I now present you with my definitive list of the best French horror films ever made!


1. Martyrs (2008)

"A young woman's quest for revenge against the people who kidnapped and tormented her as a child leads her and a friend, who is also a victim of child abuse, on a terrifying journey into a living hell of depravity."

Ignore the intentionally vague ending which tries to be too clever for its own good, and this is top notch gore!



2. Ils (aka Them) (2006)

"Lucas and Clementine live peacefully in their isolated country house, but one night they wake up to strange noise... they're not alone... and a group of hooded assailants begin to terrorize them throughout the night."

One of the most realistic home invasion movies before "The Strangers" totally ripped it off, Americanised it, and replaced the scares with boredom.



3. Eyes Without a Face (1960)

"A brilliant surgeon, Dr. Génessier, helped by his assistant Louise, kidnaps nice young women. He removes their faces and tries to graft them onto the head on his beloved daughter Christiane, whose face has been entirely spoiled in a car crash."

A classic of French horror cinema which is only available in America as an overpriced Criterion DVD that I can't afford.



4. High Tension (2003)

"Two college friends, Marie and Alexa, encounter loads of trouble (and blood) while on vacation at Alexa's parents' country home when a mysterious killer invades their quiet getaway."

Alexandre Aja's gory ripoff of a Dean R. Koontz novel called "Intensity" but with a stupid ending tacked on.



5. Er... yeah...

Regardez le tumbleweed!

So much for the French "new wave" of horror movies, eh?

August 7, 2011

I have a cunning plan

As you may have realised, I've been neglecting "The Vault" itself for months now due to not really having any interest in rewatching all those older films again.

What I intend to do, for the rest of August, is publish capsule reviews of everything which I haven't covered. That means two or three posts each day where I just comment briefly on the classics.

I'm still going to be writing longer reviews and featurettes of new movies but I think we are all familiar enough with the older movies now that I don't need to go into much detail about them.

Of course, like any great plan of mine, this is bound to change once I get bored with it but we'll see how it goes.

June 11, 2011

Celebrities who should be in horror films

Sometimes, just for a bit of fun, I like to imagine female celebrities who are not in the horror film business (or just not actresses at all) in other scenarios. Whether or not they would actually be any good in any other medium is debatable but here's my list anyway.

Lady Gaga
Her music videos almost make her an actor already so why not cash in with some more literal "Monsters"? My suggestion is that she makes a horror movie called "Little Monsters" where she could, of course, play a popstar who gets to the top through black magic and finally gets torn apart by her frenzied tweenage fans.


Rachael Ray
Maybe it's just something I'd like to see but isn't the thought of Rachael Ray getting covered in EVOO and being cooked by a cannibal quite a delicious idea? For obvious reasons, it probably shouldn't be called "The Roast of Rachael Ray". Ah, the irony.


Katy Perry
Her IMDb profile suggests that she'd like to kiss several big name Hollywood actresses so why not give her the chance to do it in a horror movie? Can't you just see Katy in a remake of "The Kiss" or, since she's a cat lover, how about in a reimagining of "Eyes of the Cat" where she could play the aunt?


Sarah Palin
Without trying to be controversial, wouldn't she be ideal in the role of a wicked stepmother? It would certainly cast her against type. As long as she didn't try to play a politician, I think she'd be outstanding with a decent script.


Gwen Stefani
With her movie star looks, I'm surprised that she hasn't done more than impersonate Jean Harlow in "The Aviator". What would be a good horror role to cast her in though? I think Gwen would make a pretty good vampire like Delphine Seyrig in "Daughters of Darkness". She's the right age now to do it too.


Anna Kournikova
Although she's the world's sexiest tennis player, Anna also has some very "girl next door" looks which might give her a chance as a final girl in a slasher movie. Like most actresses in those roles, she'd only have to run about a lot and she does that already.


Shakira
She obviously needs to be a "She-wolf" of some kind but I also think that she'd make a good ghost if anyone ever attempted to make "The Water Ghost of Harrowby Hall" into a movie. Maybe it's just because I want to see her dripping wet like she is in most of her music videos.


Can you think of any others who might be good in horror movies?

April 19, 2011

Yet another new horror blog - The Horror Cats!

I've just started another blog called "The Horror Cats". Yeah, it's all about cats in horror films.

I'm going to add something to it every time I see a horror film with a cat in it. Since I've only just starting rewriting the reviews for the films beginning with "A" in my Video Vault, this may take some time.

Anyway, if you like cats and feel like adding another blog to your reading lists, either click the screencap above or this link: http://horrorcats.blogspot.com and become a follower.

Just in case you wondered, yes, I was getting bored with writing reviews of all the horror films that I've already seen. This is just a bit of extra silliness which I'm using to help me to concentrate even more on the films that I'm rewatching.