Showing posts with label blu-ray. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blu-ray. Show all posts

July 28, 2014

The Top 200 Horror Films

THE BEST HORROR FILMS EVER MADE!

A
Aftershock
Alien
Alligator
Alucarda
American Gothic
An American Werewolf in London
The Amityville Horror
Amityville 2: The Possession
Angel Heart
April Fool's Day
Arachnophobia
The Awakening

B
Baby Shower
The Bad Seed
The Birds
Black Christmas
Black Sheep
Blade
Blood and Chocolate
Bloody Birthday
The Bride
Brimstone & Treacle
The Bride of Frankenstein

C
Candyman
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh
The Car
Carnival of Souls
Carrie
Cat People
Cat's Eye
The Changeling
Christine
The City of the Dead
Cold Prey
The Collector
Constantine
Creepshow
The Crow
Crowhaven Farm
Curse of the Demon
The Curse of Frankenstein
The Curse of the Werewolf
Cutting Class

D
Damien: Omen II
Daughters of Darkness
The Dark Hours
Dawn of the Dead
Dead & Buried
The Dead Zone
Deadly Friend
Deep Rising
Devoured
Doctor Blood's Coffin
Dog Soldiers
Dorothy Mills
Dracula (Horror of Dracula)
Dracula A.D. 1972
Dracula II: Ascension

E
The Elephant Man
Embryo
End of the Line
The Entity
Event Horizon
The Evil Dead
The Exorcist

F
Fallen
Farm House
Final Destination
The Fly
The Fog
Frankenstein
Frankenstein Created Woman
Frankenstein's Army
Freaks
Friday the 13th
Fright
Frightmare
Fright Night

G
Ghost Story
The Ghoul
Ginger Snaps
Girly
The Grudge

H
Half Light
Halloween
Halloween II
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
The Hand
Hatchet III
The Haunting
Hellraiser
Hellraiser II: Hellbound
High Lane
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hitcher
Horror Express
The Host
House of Wax
House on Haunted Hill
The Human Centipede II

I
I Spit on Your Grave
Ils (Them)
In the Mouth of Madness
Innocent Blood
The Innocents
Interview with the Vampire
It (Stephen King's 'It')

J
Jaws
Jeepers Creepers
Jennifer's Body

K
King Kong

L
Lady in White
Laid to Rest
The Last Man on Earth
The Legacy
The Legend of Hell House
Legend of the Werewolf
Let the Right One In
Link
Love Object
The Loved Ones
Lovely Molly
Lust for a Vampire

M
Mark of the Devil
Martyrs
The Medusa Touch
Misery
The Mist
Monkey Shines
Mum & Dad
Mute Witness

N
The Nanny
Needful Things
The New Daughter
Night of the Demons
Night of the Living Dead
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3
The Ninth Gate

O
The Omen
Orphan
The Orphanage
The Others

P
The Passion of the Christ
Patrick
The People Under the Stairs
Penny Dreadful
Phantoms
Phantoms (Meridien)
Piranha
Prom Night 2: Hello Mary Lou
Psycho
Pulse
Pumpkinhead

Q
Q: The Winged Serpent

R
Rawhead Rex
Razorback
Re-animator
Resident Evil: Extinction
Return of the Living Dead
Return of the Living Dead 3
The Rite
Roadkill (Joyride)
Rosemary's Baby

S
Salem's Lot
Satan's Triangle
Saw
A Serbian Film
The Serpent and the Rainbow
The Shining
Shutter
The Shuttered Room
Shuttle
The Skeleton Key
Slaughter Studios
Sleep Tight
Sleepaway Camp
Sleepwalkers
Something Evil
Sometimes They Come Back
Spectre
Spellbinder
Spider Baby
Stir of Echoes
Summer of Blood

T
Tales from the Darkside
Teeth
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Thing
Thinner
Tremors
Triangle
Trollhunter
Twisted Nerve

U-V
[Nothing]

W
What Lies Beneath
The Wicker Man
Wishmaster
Witchfinder General
The Woods
Wrong Turn

X-Y-Z
[Nothing]


Once you've seen all these films, there's little else that the horror genre has to offer except for more repetition and inferior clones of the same.

If you are new to the horror genre, just fill up your DVD/Blu-ray collection with these and throw any other "horror movies" that you may have acquired in the bin. You aren't going to watch any of them ever again anyway.

Also note that a considerable number of these titles barely meet the minimum requirements for "horror"—mainly because they aren't SCARY—but I needed 200 of them for this list.

If you want to buy any of these films, you can save a small fortune by getting them from The Bloody Horror Store.

The Bloody Horror Store

April 1, 2014

300 Essential Movies For Your Mancave


Although everyone knows that most people who read horror blogs (or listen to podcasts) only watch really shitty movies and live in "Neckbeard Nests" which wouldn't look out of place in an episode of "Hoarders", if you want to refer to your basement den as a "Mancave", that's perfectly fine unless you're actually a girl.

However, should you ever decide to break the stereotype by collecting and watching some great movies in addition to sadly being surrounded by empty energy drink cans, obsolete games consoles, torn comicbooks, a floor full of soggy tissues containing various unpleasant bodily secretions, piles of dirty laundry, and the corpses of neglected pets (or spouses) rotting under stacks of discarded pizza boxes from the local 7eleven, this list is for you!

In reverse order... even though putting things in order is never that important...

300 Essential Movies Which Every Nerd Should Own
300. Fight Club (1999)
299. The Vikings (1958)
298. Metropolis (1927)
297. American Graffiti (1973)
296. Cabaret (1972)
295. M (1931)
294. Taxi Driver (1976)
293. The Elephant Man (1980)
292. Innerspace (1987)
291. The Green Mile (1999)
290. Oldboy (2003)
289. The Deer Hunter (1978)
288. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
287. The Final Cut (2004)
286. The Hands of Orlac (1924)
285. Sleepwalkers (1992)
284. Trainspotting (1996)
283. Insomnia (2002)
282. Birdman of Alcatraz (1962)
281. Se7en (1995)
280. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
279. Fright (1971)
278. Snatch. (2000)
277. Odd Man Out (1947)
276. Baise-moi (2000)
275. The Changeling (1980)
274. Robinson Crusoe on Mars (1964)
273. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
272. Endless Night (1972)
271. The Man in Grey (1943)
270. Brighton Rock (1947)
269. Bicentennial Man (1999)
268. Salem's Lot (1979)
267. Enemy Mine (1985)
266. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954)
265. The Family Way (1966)
264. Life Is Beautiful (1997)
263. Romancing the Stone (1984)
262. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
261. Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)
260. The Shuttered Room (1967)
259. The Man Upstairs (1958)
258. Waterworld (1995)
257. Witchfinder General (1968)
256. The Collector (1965)
255. The Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel (1951)
254. The Fly (1958)
253. The Man in the Iron Mask (1977)
252. Dances with Wolves (1990)
251. Psycho (1960)
250. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)
249. Beware of Pity (1946)
248. The Big Lebowski (1998)
247. The Ten Commandments (1956)
246. Dragonwyck (1946)
245. Stir of Echoes (1999)
244. Paint Your Wagon (1969)
243. The Eagle Has Landed (1976)
242. The Shootist (1976)
241. Carry On Cowboy (1965)
240. An American Werewolf in London (1981)
239. Yield to the Night (1956)
238. The Entity (1982)
237. The Wild Bunch (1969)
236. Basic Instinct (1992)
235. Where Eagles Dare (1969)
234. Another Country (1984)
233. Carry On... Up the Khyber (1968)
232. The Hitcher (1986)
231. Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall (1973)
230. The Last Man on Earth (1960)
229. Twisted Nerve (1968)
228. Deadly Strangers (1975)
227. Rosemary's Baby (1968)
226. Callan (1974)
225. The Virgin Soldiers (1969)
224. Halloween (1978)
223. Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974)
222. Lemon Popsicle (1978)
221. Daughters of Darkness (1971)
220. The Graduate (1967)
219. Diabolique (1955)
218. The Exorcist (1973)
217. Fanny and Alexander (1982)
216. Roman Holiday (1953)
215. Apocalypse Now (1979)
214. The Truman Show (1998)
213. Silent Running (1972)
212. Dracula (1958)
211. In Like Flint (1967)
210. Curse of the Demon (1957)
209. The 400 Blows (1959)
208. Run Lola Run (1998)
207. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)
206. The Night of the Hunter (1955)
205. Re-Animator (1985)
204. Bullitt (1968)
203. The Stepford Wives (1975)
202. Fatal Attraction (1987)
201. Ocean's Eleven (2001)
200. Our Man Flint (1966)
199. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
198. Iron Man (2008)
197. The Rock (1996)
196. Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
195. The Wicker Man (1973)
194. The Passion of the Christ (2004)
193. Cape Fear (1962)
192. Casino Royale (2006)
191. Rio Bravo (1959)
190. Rear Window (1954)
189. Death Race 2000 (1975)
188. Donnie Brasco (1997)
187. The Big Boss (1971)
186. The Boondock Saints (1999)
185. Face/Off (1997)
184. Papillon (1973)
183. Sudden Death (1995)
182. Dr. No (1962)
181. Play Misty for Me (1971)
180. Death Wish II (1982)
179. Timecop (1994)
178. Training Day (2001)
177. Phone Booth (2002)
176. Speed (1994)
175. Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
174. The Odessa File (1974)
173. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
172. A Serbian Film (2010)
171. Death Wish (1974)
170. Marathon Man (1976)
169. Escape from New York (1981)
168. Coming to America (1988)
167. The Omen (1976)
166. Ben-Hur (1959)
165. Reign of Fire (2002)
164. The Right Stuff (1983)
163. Gran Torino (2008)
162. Frequency (2000)
161. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
160. Rocky IV (1985)
159. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
158. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946)
157. Caligula (1979)
156. The Wild Geese (1978)
155. Saturday Night Fever (1977)
154. Stripes (1981)
153. Logan's Run (1976)
152. Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984)
151. Office Space (1999)
150. Hard Boiled (1992)
149. Groundhog Day (1993)
148. The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939)
147. Universal Soldier (1992)
146. American Beauty (1999)
145. Road House (1989)
144. Enemy at the Gates (2001)
143. Raging Bull (1980)
142. Collateral (2004)
141. The Great Houdini (1976)
140. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
139. Pitch Black (2000)
138. The Beach (2000)
137. The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (1989)
136. Commando (1985)
135. The Left Handed Gun (1958)
134. Ice Station Zebra (1968)
133. True Grit (1969)
132. Dead Poets Society (1989)
131. The Human Centipede 2 (2011)
130. Harry Brown (2009)
129. Aliens (1986)
128. No Country for Old Men (2007)
127. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
126. Wayne's World (1992)
125. The Outsiders (1983)
124. Riddick (2013)
123. Shutter (2008)
122. Hot Fuzz (2007)
121. Lethal Weapon (1987)
120. The Woman in the Window (1944)
119. Angel Heart (1987)
118. Caddyshack (1980)
117. High Noon (1952)
116. Alien (1979)
115. Streets of Fire (1984)
114. Léon: The Professional (1994)
113. Shane (1953)
112. The Running Man (1987)
111. Double Indemnity (1944)
110. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
109. The Hustler (1961)
108. District B13 (2004)
107. Platoon (1986)
106. 48 Hrs. (1982)
105. Spartacus (1960)
104. L.A. Confidential (1997)
103. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
102. Rising Sun (1993)
101. Last Exit to Brooklyn (1989)
100. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
99. Scarlet Street (1945)
98. Hard Rain (1998)
97. First Blood (1982)
96. Passenger 57 (1992)
95. The Terminator (1984)
94. Rumble Fish (1983)
93. Beverly Hills Cop (1984)
92. Forrest Gump (1994)
91. Under Siege (1992)
90. The Matrix (1999)
89. Full Metal Jacket (1997)
88. Demolition Man (1993)
87. Top Gun (1986)
86. Pulp Fiction (1994)
85. The Hunt for Red October (1990)
84. Scarface (1983)
83. Lethal Weapon 2 (1989)
82. The Magnificent Seven (1960)
81. Constantine (2005)
80. Taken (2008)
79. Cliffhanger (1993)
78. Rain Man (1988)
77. Predator (1987)
76. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
75. Risky Business (1983)
74. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
73. The Flight of the Phoenix (1965)
72. Planet of the Apes (1968)
71. Unforgiven (1992)
70. From Russia with Love (1963)
69. Rocky (1976)
68. Falling Down (1993)
67. Black Rain (1989)
66. Blade (1998)
65. Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
64. Batman Begins (2005)
63. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
62. Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (1972)
61. RoboCop (1987)
60. GoldenEye (1995)
59. The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)
58. The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962)
57. Casino (1995)
56. xXx (2002)
55. Jaws (1975)
54. Con Air (1997)
53. Chinatown (1974)
52. Duel (1971)
51. The Fan (1996)
50. Django Unchained (2012)
49. Quadrophenia (1979)
48. M*A*S*H (1970)
47. 300 (2006)
46. Die Hard (1988)
45. Goodfellas (1990)
44. Stalag 17 (1953)
43. The Dark Knight (2008)
42. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
41. Broken Arrow (1996)
40. The Bounty (1984)
39. The Transporter (2002)
38. The Searchers (1956)
37. Royal Flash (1975)
36. Blade Runner (1982)
35. True Romance (1993)
34. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
33. The Edge (1997)
32. Betty Blue (1986)
31. The Godfather (1972)
30. Turkish Delight (1973)
29. Braveheart (1995)
28. The Godfather: Part II (1974)
27. Django (1966)
26. Total Recall (1990)
25. Highlander (1986)
24. Porky's (1982)
23. Deliverance (1972)
22. A Fistful of Dollars (1964)
21. The Big Blue (1988)
20. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)
19. The Great Escape (1963)
18. For a Few Dollars More (1965)
17. Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1960)
16. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
15. Scum (1979)
14. Alfie (1966)
13. Flesh+Blood (1985)
12. Excalibur (1981)
11. The Dirty Dozen (1967)
10. Gone Girl (2014)
9. Das Boot (1981)
8. The Ipcress File (1965)
7. Gladiator (2000)
6. Zulu (1964)
5. The Thing (1982)
4. Dirty Harry (1971)
3. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
2. Goldfinger (1964)
1. Enter the Dragon (1973)

Once you have a collection of these excellent movies, you'll always be able to entertain your friends on those rare occasions when they visit. Oh wait, you probably don't have any real life friends anyway, do you? Nevermind.

Feel free to let me know if you think I've missed out anything important from this list.

Oh, and please leave the house once in a while.

October 25, 2013

Vincent Price died 20 years ago today


Vincent died on October 25th, 1993. Can you believe it?

He died before most of today's horror fans were even born!

I recommend buying one of these if you aren't familiar with the great man's work.




The last one is cheapest in Target.

January 21, 2013

More money than sense?

I've seen some stupid things on YouTube in my time (and, no, I'm not talking about Giovanna Plowman), but this guy's purchase of 100 Blu-ray discs has to be up there with the most ridiculous of them.



What could be missing in someone's life that he has to buy 100 (or more) movies in one go with most of them being bad ones that he's already seen and doesn't like? I don't get it. Out of 100 Blu-ray discs in this video, there are possibly only a dozen decent horror films. The rest should be thrown onto a bonfire to do the world a favour.

Far be it from me to criticise anyone for collecting DVDs, but why collect crappy movies on Blu-ray especially when you already have them on DVD? It's not going to make them any better!

How much do you think this lot cost? Somewhere between $500 and $1000 probably. What a waste of money! I would rather buy 100 crappy horror movies in a Mill Creek pack from Wal-mart for $17.99 and spend the rest on pizza and beer.

December 14, 2012

How to turn your DVD player into a Blu-ray player for less than $1

We live in hard times. Many of us can't afford to spend huge amounts of cash on the latest technology, and it sucks to be left behind especially at Christmas. If you are a movie fan, however, owning a Blu-ray player is now pretty much a necessity.

After numerous requests for advice about which Blu-ray player offers the best value, I have decided to give you my easy to follow tutorial for making your own out of your existing hardware. Please note that this will void your warranty.


You will need:

1. A DVD player (preferably with HDMI).


2. A blue marker pen. (The ones you use to write on DVDs are the best.)


3, A screwdriver (depending on the type of DVD player you own).

4. A flashlight (optional).

5. Five minutes of your time.

6. A Blu-ray disc to test the upgraded system with. Horror movies are, of course, the best for this.


Step 1

Open up the DVD tray then switch the DVD player off at the mains.

NOTE: Always make sure the power to any electrical device is disconnected before attempting to modify it. Failure to comply with common sense will result in damage to your equipment and DEATH!


Step 2

Locate the lens of the laser. Usually it is part of the tray, but sometimes it is further inside the player itself. Either way you should be able to reach it with a pen.

You may need to use a flashlight to see inside or, in the worst case scenario, you will possibly have to remove the outer casing of the DVD player using a screwdriver. A Philips/cross-head screwdriver is best for this although a flat-head screwdriver or spoon can be used to prise the case apart if you don't care about cosmetic damage.


Step 3

Remove the lid from your blue marker pen and dab the tip of the pen all over the lens of the laser. This may take several tries as the ink can pull back off or collect in pools.


Step 4

Put the lid back on your marker pen so it doesn't dry up. You might want to use it later to write the word "Blu" on your player over the top of the "DVD" label.


Step 5

Connect your DVD player to the mains, and pop the tray back in. Some DVD players will do this automatically when initialising. (If you've taken your DVD player apart make sure that the case is back on and all the screws tightened before you plug it in otherwise the tiny elves will escape.)


Step 6

Open the tray again using your remote control (or a long stick if you don't have the original remote control anymore).


Step 7

Enter the following universal code using the numeric keys on your remote control: 483823629234982372364923946234923645151214133331181919193893846432828234284682842141234123412342314126456675786211451412645667578621145148382362923498237236492394623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145148382362923498237236492394623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145148382362923498237236492394623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145148382314838236292349823723649239141264566757862114514838236292349823723649239462349236451512141333311819191938938464328282342846828421412341234123423141264566757862114514838236292349823723649239462349236451512141333311819191938938464328282342846828421412341234123423141264566757862114514838236292349823723649239462349236451512141333311819191938938464328282342846828421412341234123423141264566757862114514838234623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145148382362923498237236492394623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145148382362923498237236492394623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145148382362923498237236492394623492364515121413333118191919389384643282823428468284214123412341234231412645667578621145114126456675786211451483823629234982372364923946234923645151214133331181919193893846432828234284682842141234123412342314126456675786211451483823629234982372364923946234923645151214133331181919193893846432828234284682842141234123412342314126456675786211451483823629234982372364923946234923645151214133331181919193893846432828234284682842141234123412342314126456675786211451483823


Step 8

Close the tray and reopen it again five times while saying "Klaatu barada nikto". Try to time each syllable with the tray movements.


Step 9

Insert your newly purchased (rented or borrowed) Blu-ray disc, close the tray, and press "Play".


Step 10

Congratulations! You should now have a fully functional Blu-ray player. If for any reason you don't, simply repeat steps 7 and 8 ten times. Some of the older DVD players are temperamental like that.

Also please be aware that your regular DVDs will no longer play in your upgraded player. To play DVDs, you will need to remove the ink from the lens of the laser using rubbing alcohol and a cotton bud. There is very little reason to do this since everything worth watching is now available on Blu-ray anyway.


I make no claim that this will work for every DVD player or even the one used in the example picture above. If it does and I've saved you some money, please feel free to leave me a donation. The PayPal donation button can be found on the right sidebar of this blog.

December 9, 2012

Brazil (1985)



"A bureaucrat in a retro-future world tries to correct an administrative error and himself becomes an enemy of the state."

It's not often that I don't know what to say about a movie, but having watched "Brazil" for the very first (and second) time today as part of my Christmas movies selection, I don't know how to categorise it. I'm not even sure if I enjoyed it or not. I think I did in some ways, but I still wanted to hate it all the way through.

"Brazil" is a surreal, sci-fi fantasy set in an Orwellian future which annoys me almost as much as "1984" itself. I've been watching a few sci-fi movies on the side lately and, since I'm a natural pattern finder, all these dystopian futures are the same from one movie to another. There's always a big, bad government and some neo-noir style lead character who turns out to be the unprepared hero of the piece amidst a load of technology which makes absolutely no sense.

I'll eventually review them, but I've also rewatched "The Matrix" (1999) and "Dark City" (1998) this weekend for absolutely no good reason at all other than entertainment. I'm not sure if that's the purpose behind them, but I keep feeling that I've seen the same story over and over ever since "Metropolis" (1927). It makes me glad that I'm not a real sci-fi fan because the clones and lack of originality in that genre even outweigh the current problems with horror.


In some ways "Brazil" is also a horror movie. There's some nice gore and definitely a nightmarish atmosphere to the arty-farty nonsense which makes it suitable for a horror fan, but there's comedy too which really messes things up. If it wasn't for the slapstick and satire, I think I would rate "Brazil" as a great film rather than a turd trying to be cleverer than it is. As I said, I don't really know how to classify it or rate it properly because it's not in a style that I'm used to.

The funny thing is that I got caught up in the story even though the plot is as simple as they come with a predictable twist at the end which I thought was going to be an even bigger cop-out. I honestly expected it to be another "it was all a dream" movie or to go into "brain in a vat" territory. I hate those "we don't know what reality is" pseudo-philosphical stories especially as the whole concept is "meta" in the first place. If I'm willing to suspend my disbelief to watch a movie, I don't want any more layers of unreality to throw me right back out of it. That's where bullshit like "Inception" (2010) failed to impress me.


All I can say for sure about "Brazil" is that it has a great cast of some bigger names than I thought I'd ever see in the same movie, and it pretty much wastes the talents of every single one of them. I'm surprised that they ever worked again. Robert DeNiro? Well, he's never been that good anyway, but Bob Hoskins playing Mario before actually playing Mario is just plain weird.

Kim Greist, who plays Jill (the girl of Jonathan Pryce's character's dreams), looks a lot better in a wig even though she does nothing for me, but I could say that about any of the actors and actresses in this. They all look the part, but their characters' reactions to each other and their lack of depth ruins everything they do. It's impossible to care about any of them except in short bursts and then it's like they never existed. I swear it's possible to forget about everyone in the movie within seconds of hearing their last line.

"Brazil" is all style over substance at the end of the day and not very memorable except for the way it looks. I get that it's a satire or parody of some kind, but it's not funny. If it's a satire of the sci-fi genre itself, it's kind of insulting.

Sci-fi masochists everywhere who want to enjoy a combined brain-numbing and ass-numbing can now appreciate the new Criterion Blu-ray of the 142 minute long "fifth and final" director's cut which was released last week. Allegedly, it's better than the Universal version and my DVD version, but I'm sure that's like saying eating hot vomit is worse than eating cold vomit. I never want to watch "Brazil" again.

Blu-ray discs are a scam!

With dual layer Blu-ray discs being the industry standard for feature-length videos why isn't the 50 GB storage space used more efficiently?

50 GB is around 12 times the storage space of standard DVD discs with 4.3 GB yet still entire seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", for example, don't come on a single Blu-ray disc. What the Hell? Why?

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" isn't even on Blu-ray, but the seasons do already exist in 6 disc DVD packs. Theoretically, that means that 6 seasons should fit on 3 Blu-ray discs. Give or take a few pointless extras and maybe adding the original 1992 movie to a boxset, the maximum number of Blu-ray discs needed would be 4. How much do you want to bet that when "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" does come out on Blu-ray, there'll still be 6 Blu-ray discs to every pack and the price will be doubled?

What's the reason for this? Do you think that the original 4:3 ratioed, standard television format shows will be magically enhanced somehow to make them clearer or the stories will become any better because of it? You can't save the final season of "Buffy" from being crap anyway no matter how much you polish the turd, but I digressed. No, the truth is that Blu-ray is a scam.

No matter what the media and the nerd blogs tell you, there's no huge difference between the transfers of movies available on DVD and Blu-ray in the same way that DVD was a huge technological upgrade from VHS. The movie industry simply needed something else to get money out of people. If there is any benefit at all, it's that the plastic which covers the label where the information is really stored is a little bit harder to scratch. It's still not impossible though. Errors in duplication are just as frequent too.

I've seen Blu-ray discs which look absolutely no different to the DVD versions of the same movie. I've also seen transfers to Blu-ray which are a lot worse so it's become obvious that it's all a con. Unless you have a huge HDTV with at least a 70 inch screen, you aren't going to notice much difference either way. On my 3 year old 42 inch television, there's no difference at all.

Blu-ray players, on the other hand, aren't a scam. If they'd been used the right way in the beginning to play multi-featured discs back then they'd be a fantastic upgrade for those of us who always wanted a DVD jukebox from Sony which actually worked properly. The bonus features which allow Netflix, Amazon, Hulu and other streaming services through the same boxes are also commendable additions.

But is it worth upgrading everything to Blu-ray when you already have a huge DVD collection already? The answer is no. You aren't going to get any benefit out of it. The DVDs you own will automatically be up-scaled by the Blu-ray player to the resolution of your new HDTV, but most HDTVs should do that with a standard DVD player anyway. That's also the same process used by most of the Blu-ray manufacturers who claim to have "remastered" the movies. What did they do? They enlarged the picture and burnt it back onto Blu-ray, that's all. Give me a break! Only a movie filmed in HD specifically for the Blu-ray format is ever going to look "better" (and without letterboxing) because your old beloved '80s slashers probably don't even exist on a better format originally than VHS or Beta (if you are lucky).

So the process might be more intricate in the case of transferring 35mm prints to Blu-ray than merely up-scaling low-budget horror DVDs, but the principle remains the same. If the original source material is crap, the result of the transfer will be too. It's not some kind of magic that turns fuzzy into non-fuzzy at the press of a button. In some cases, it nearly is, but not really. But do you really believe that anyone is going to invest the time or money into rescanning movies when a few digital enhancements are all that it will take to satisfy the masses? Of course, not. 99.9% of "remastered" Blu-ray movies are the same as the DVD except up-scaled and re-burnt onto new media.

Does one movie really require the whole 50 GB of space for the resulting image to be stored on? Hell, no! You could fit 10 remastered movies on each Blu-ray disc if you wanted to, but obviously the movie studios don't want to do that. They want you to buy everything again individually apart from the movies which didn't sell well in the first place. They don't care about those at all which is why there are so many DVD multi-feature bargains to be found.

While the majority of people would rather buy multipacks of two or three movies per side of a flipper disc, the single feature scam continues to entice the cash from the wallets of those people with more money than sense.

Do yourself a favour this Christmas. Just say no to Blu-ray until the movie distributors start using the format properly.

April 30, 2012

Jaws - the pointless Blu-ray Edition



You've probably already had your fill of the news about "Jaws" being released on blu-ray from all the other horror movie websites so I'm not going to re-cover the same ground with all the boring technological stuff which I know for a fact that hardly any of them understands either.

I've already reviewed "Jaws" on here so you know that I love the film and I've seen it hundreds of times over the years. What's not to get excited about with a blu-ray release of one of my favourite films?

Well, like I said, I've seen it so many times and in so many formats that the new "Anniversary Edition" of "Jaws" is hardly something I'd rush out to buy. I've actually lost count of how many times it was released on VHS and DVD as a 10 year, 15 year, 20 year, 25 year or 30 year "Anniversary Edition" (either fullscreen or widescreen) and I've probably made a few of those up. Whatever the case, it was a lot of times.

So what are they adding to sell "Jaws" to everyone yet again? A documentary. I'm sure it will be very interesting but does that justify buying a new version of the same film? In five years time, Universal will only bring out another version.

If you've seen "Jaws" once (or twice), what else is left for you? How many times can you watch the same film? Hasn't everyone on the planet already seen "Jaws" and at least two of the three crappy sequels on TV? Some of us have even read the books!


Since I don't even own a blu-ray player, all this is a moot point anyway. I'm not going to buy one for the sake of watching a nearly 40 year old film.

However, I would buy a blu-ray player if the studios actually started releasing some of their other 20, 30 and 40 year old films which hardly anyone has seen.

For instance, where are the blu-ray editions of "Last Exit to Brooklyn", "Scum", or "Twisted Nerve"? What's wrong with releasing some decent films instead of just the ones which the executives think will sell to the largest audience?

What about the thousands of horror movies such as the ones on VHS collected by KandJHorrordotcom (on his YouTube channel) which still haven't seen a DVD release and will never be on blu-ray? These are the movies that people really want not just re-releases of the most popular titles. The movie industry is dying. Everybody knows it and horror has already been the first casualty.

All this makes me think of "Demolition Man" where all the restaurants in the future are "Taco Bell". It's not hard to imagine that in another 25 years, if the movie industry still even exists, the only movies available will be "Indiana Jones", "Star Wars" and "E.T."!!! Or worse, it could be a renaissance of handycam "faux found-footage" zombie crap being burnt to 3D blu-ray at home by 14 year old amateur filmmakers who got their inspiration from classic Best Buy commercials.

Sometimes, I just don't want to live in this world anymore.